Depressed - just had huge chocolate binge :(

[PiggyPiggy]

I have a 10 month old DS and I am trying to lose weight. I put on HALF my body weight when I was pregnant and I haven't been able to lose it. I have really been dieting for the past couple of weeks but I just caved and scoffed loads of chocolate that was left over after Easter. I didn't even enjoy it. It tasted sugary and disgusting but I kept shoving it in. I tried to make myself sick afterwards but I didn't want my DS to see me incase it leaves some weird imprint on his brain for later in life. I feel like such a failure. I am big and fat and I have no energy and I am not a great mum. I used to be "sexy" (that's what other people said!) but not now. I feel disgusting and disgusted with myself. I am going to have to hide the remains of my binge from my DH, not because he would have a go at me but because I am so ashamed. I feel so alone.

hey piggypiggy - don't beat yourself up about it. Posting about it is better than sitting feeling alone and depressed! I have done the binge thing, and hiding the choc wrappers etc. Having a young baby is so tiring, and it is easy to look to choc as an energy boost.

Take it one day at a time, and come and join us on this thread where we are all trying to be very good

ps throw any choc left in the house in the bin, and tell DH you have emptied the house to avoid temptation.

Then you can move onwards and upwards!

I was a hideous chocolate binger for the first year of my son's life. I also put on a huge amount of weight in pregnancy and it took a long time to come off. I was very tired and depressed, and chocolate was the one thing that made me (momentarily) feel better. For me, the compulsive eating thing started to get better when my son got a bit more active and my routine changed. My PND also lifted a bit, and I started to get out and about, to the park, toddler groups etc. The weight slowly started to come off and my chocolate cravings eased a lot. perhaps you could look at the rest of your diet and try to keep your blood sugar steady so that you are less likely to crave sweet things? Are you eating a good nutritious breakfast? Try to eat something filling, like porridge or eggs & toast with fruit. Don't scrimp at meal times - you need energy. maybe allow yourself a little bit of chocoate each day, but limit what you keep in the house. And are you getting any exercise? walking or swimming are a good start and they definitely help to regulate your appetitie a bit.

Anyway, just wanted to say - please don't feel ashamed or guilty. Other people have been there, too. Whatever you do, please don't make yourself sick. Tke things slowly, one step at a time, make some small positive changes to your lifestyle and be kind to yourself. You have plenty of time to lose the wright slowly and sensibly.

Thank you so much Tickle and MrsMattie. It really helps to feel that I am not the only person who has done this...that you guys understand. I am going downstairs right now to throw all the chocolate in the bin.
It's so hard to be kind to myself, MrsMattie. It's funny, I am so much nicer to my friends (actually to random strangers!) than I am to myself. your advice is so sensible. I haven't been eating much because I was so desperate to get the weight off.
Anyway, thanks guys.

New mums are so, so hard on themselves!@Piggy. I remember wandering around in a sleep deprived haze, struggling with everyday things, feeling knackered and down and avoiding going out (and certainly avoiding looking in mirrors! I felt so huge and hideous..). Looking back now, I feel sad for myself. I put so much pressure on myself, and it's true - if a friend in your situation came along and confided how that they were feeling this way, you'd give them a hug and tell them to take it easy, be kind to themselves etc. But we struggle to say this to ourselves. Seriously, I am not patronising you - please do take it easy on yourself. All this 'getting back into your jeans in a jiffy' crap that permeates every aspect of our society is unhealthy and unfair on the vast majority of normal women. You need to eat to be healthy and to give yourself much needed energy and, yes, sometimes for pleasure (because food is tasty!). Finding a balance is hard, but at this stage I would say - exercise a bit more (even if it's just a brisk walk everyday), eat 3 good hearty meals a day and try to find things you can look forward to each day so that you don't have to resort to 'treating yourself' with huge amounts of chocolate. Good luck and post here whenever you need to - I totally relate with you!

dont be so hard on yourself

name change for starters

I've been here too, and struggled with my weight for years. Sometimes it's all in control and sometimes it isn't. I agree with the advice to eat proper meals - allowing yourself to get hungry makes you much more likely to binge and eat things you don't even want.

Believe me, I can relate to what you're saying and I just wanted to offer some support. For me, I remember the turning point was resolving to have a shower before 12noon every day! I think it's just about prioritising something for yourself that's going to help you face the day with a positive outlook, whether it's preparing a meal, going out for a walk, or whatever.

I wondered if you had breastfed? Some women (me included) struggle to lose weight during and in the months after feeding.