Coughing 8 month old baby

[Mumtobe202310]

Hi Mumsnetters

I hope you and your LOs are all well.

Yesterday we had a wedding to attend and the car park we had to park away from the hall. My baby was crying so my relative took him outside while we waited as he was unsettled inside the hall and this was night time like 10pm, even I was cold.

My fear is my baby's jacket was inside the car so whole my husband was getting it my baby was just in a shirt and vest, the shirt was opened as it was hot inside. We were waiting I think what felt like 10 mins. He already had a runny nose 2 days prior.

Today he was coughing and I feel like he has a reduced appetite, he is sleeping and I can hear his breathing making wheezing noises.

I feel so upset. I feel like such a crap mum. I have PND and am struggling. My health physically and mentally has been so difficult to manage.

I'm constantly in fight or flight mode anywhere except him where I'm a bit calmer. Therefore, I was feeling helpless that I didn't have his jacket and it was in the car!!!

I packed everything literally made a list, and all, done what I could. This is one thing that's making me feel entirely guilty. My husband isn't very supportive emotionally, I think I've mentally and nearly physically checked out of the marriage a year ago while pregnant so the lack of support and affection makes me feel more alone and on edge, like I'm second guessing myself majority of the times so this whole situation making me feel quite sick figuratively and literally.

I am going to take him hospital today In Shaa Allah but I just wanted to ask on here, do you think this is pneumonia?? And any advice regarding cough etc and snotty nose will be much appreciated.

Thank you so much in advance.

It’s not your fault your baby has a cough. Honestly, it is not.
if you’re worried about baby’s breathing, call 111 for medical advice. 8 months is so little and it’s surely safer to get proper medical advice as soon as you can.

Babies are constantly picking up bugs and various colds and things. I doubt it’s anything serious but if it makes you feel more assured take him to the gp. Does he have a temp? Laboured breathing?
you’re not a crap mum, you’re attentive and concerned.

Thank you so much both of you. This PND is taking me outtttt.

I'm very scared because I'm paranoid the exposure to cold air getting to gum and especially his chest may have caused the cough and cold, isn't that how it happens?

He doesn't have a temperature. It's literally a snotty nose, like his nose making grunting noise and his cough is not nice too, he already had bronchiolitis and croup in the past and now this. I feel like I'm drowning in self hate not gonna lie.

I very much doubt 10 mins out in the evening would have caused this, more likely to be a bug going around. My daughters come home pretty snotty today so there’s definitely one doing the rounds

Are you getting support for you PND?

I'm sure that brief exposure to cold air won't have really done anything, and it's much more likely to just be a virus of some kind, even covid. Please don't be hard on yourself for that.

A GP will be really happy to check him over if you're worried, I'm sure.

Thanks a lot for your replies.

I hope your daughter gets better real soon!

They gave me some self help videos on NHS thingy and gave me a bunch of places to look into for therapy but I would have to pay.

She’ll be fine, but thank you, sent her to bed with a bit of calpol! But obviously when they’re smaller babies it’s easier to get concerned.

perhaps another trip to the GP and push that you feel you’re struggling is worth while?

whilst I don’t think I suffered PND I suspect I was declining that way at some point in the early months, so i empathise with the panic, fear and questioning your every action. Are you getting enough sleep and rest?

Yes I have actually been thinking to go request again because I know I just know when I'm declining. Problem is I think I feel too scared to open up about my feelings which are actually normal things to worry about to others because people insinuate I'm being ungrateful although I know they don't mean it or mean anything bad by it but I feel worse when someone says things like there are people praying for what you have( as in a baby). But people forget that I got pregnant after 6 years of avoiding getting pregnant due to fear of my health issues. And then had miscarriage, and then pregnant again and throughout pregnancy my physical health was the best in my whole 31 years but my anxiety was horrible and then top it off with a fast traumatic birth as a first time mum was a cherry on top. But yeah so this is why I don't wanna open up to people.

You're so lovely, your children are so lucky. Thank you for your kindness and understanding

He already had a runny nose, so he had a little cold developing, I don't think a brief moment of cold air would have made a difference! What you see now is most likely just the development of the cold he already had.

What are people around you like, do they catastrophise? If you have anyone who does this (my mum is terrible for this, she was ringing the ambulance regularly when I was little even for mild illnesses) then try to avoid them until your PND is better.

Thank you so much for your reassurance! I wilm try book in with GP today xxx

It’s quite normal to close up and try and deal with things and outwardly project you’re fine, but it he good thing is you’re recognising it and so then that’s going to allow you to get help.

sounds like you’ve had a rough ride and a fair bit of family pressure. The first years is a tough ride for many people, but it gets easier

Aw OP. You can be grateful for what you have and have PND and anxiety. It’s not an either-or situation.

feeling this way can be exhausting and that’s on top of the shock of being a first time mum.

do you have a health visitor you can talk to for support? Ours had a heavy focus on maternal well being.