How do you get your dc to wipe themselves after using the toilet?

[Feelingbetterslowly]

My dc will wipe if I'm there with her as I always insist, but she is at nursery full time, and they don't insiston it-obviously they can't supervise all the kiddies every time they use the toilet. However, we usually eat in college straight after nursery as dinner is served at the same time as nursery pick up, and it saves me cooking. She always really smells of poo, which is incredibly embarrassing for me, people are not sitting with us any more and I find myself leaving before the coffee afterwards as I'm too aware that she smells (which is hte sccial bit dd and I both really enjoy), and I'm sick of cleaning pooey knickers. Tonight it was so bad I thought she had had an accident in them. Every night we have a conversation about the importance of wiping, but every day the same thing. What can I do to reinforce it while she is away from me?

I guess keep reinforcing it, and speak to the nursery, THEY need to also be enforcing it.
Also, maybe think about taking a plastic bag, wipes and a spare pair of pants and taking her to the toilet and making sure she is clean before you go and eat.

meant take the pooey pants off and put in the plastic bag, clean her up and put new pants on

Thanks chasing. I'm just so sad because she is a great "toileter" and starts school in sept, so don't want her being "the smelly one".

He he, I understood, don't worry

actually I am that the nursery don't do more - if it is that bad they must smell her aswell. I would most definitly be having words with them.

I've given notice in at the nursery as my concerns about them are growing. Other mums have told me in passing convos that they have picked their dc's up in dripping wet trousers and also complained of poo probs. It's meant to be a good nursery too, it has great reports, but the staff turnover is so high at the mo (three to four staff a month leave now since oct) that they don't know what is going on.

the nursery my DCs used would never let kids out of the place dirty. You should post this thread on the childminders topic board and get some comments form nursery workers - I would be all for complaining to OFSTED if it was me (but perhaps I am blinkered having only experienced two different places). surely the nurseries have a responsibility for children not yet toilet-trained?

There's not much point in you trying to reinforce a rule if the nursery don't do the same....I honestly believed that every nursery in the country simply bagged up the stuff, stuck the children in spare clothes and handed over the soiled stuff to you on the way out...

I agree - my dsd is at full time nursery and still hasn't quite got the wiping thing sorted but they help her out and she doesn't come out smelling of poo ...

Have another word with nursery.

We're trying to help her at home (she also starts school in September) and have some of the wet wipes which seem to help. She knows to do two dry wipes (with tissue) and then one wet wipe (although needs reminding and will always take the lazy option of having someone do it for her if its on offer )

I'm so at the nursery. My dd1 goes to our local pre-school. On the outside looks a bit of a dump (was dubious at first) but my god the staff are amazing. She has never had an accident there. Is always clean and dry. In fact just before half term they were all apologetic to me, she's spilt a bit of juice down her trouser leg (a mere dribble) and they were all "Oh sorry we were just about to change her trousers (they were out of her spare clothes bag waiting) but she wanted a wee, then it was home time" They were so concerned .. I hadn't even noticed it was that small.
I just can't get my head around how bad some places seem.

Oh my god my nursery is sounding bad! And it's meant to be a good one! Argh! I wouldn't mind but at £700 a month too (stupid me thinking the most expensive would be the best!). She loves her nursery-she raves about the "teachers", but basic sanitation is a bigger issue I think!

Surely if your DD is struggling to wipe herself then as far as I'm concerned, the nursery have a duty and responsibility to make sure she is clean - what about infection?

I would certainly have a very strong word with the nursery manager and find out why they are not helping her!

I feel like it's my fault and she SHOULD be able to wipe herself by now so am ashamed to bring it up, as she has already turned 4, but spoke to her about it last night again and she said her teacher said she should only wipe if she has done a "poopey weewee", i.e., both a wee and a poo ! i think another part of it is that she's desperate to get back and play, but I feel like the nursery think I haven't brought her up properly and am taking the lazy option as the others can do it (although I re-iterate I insist on it when we are together). She was late potty training (just turned 3).

Of course its not your fault. Kids develop at different things at different rates. Things hold less importance to a 4 year old. The nursery on the other hand should be very very ashamed of themselves.