How can I help my dad?

[KathySeldon]

my dad (86) is not coping very well at the moment. He gets very stressed if anything goes wrong, and also gets stressed and frustrated at basically getting old. He is pretty physically well, does a local bike ride about 2 miles every day, and still drives.

Tonight however, he got really fed up, said he was depressed, and went outside. Mum (also 86) thought he'd gone to potter in his shed, but when she went to check on him he wasn't there. Then she went out to look for him by the river / woods at the back of their house, but couldn't find him. This was around 9:15 this evening. Then she messaged me to say she'd lost him. (I live about 100 miles away.)
How can we help Dad? I think it's very unlikely he will agree to see the doctor about being depressed.

He's home now, but was out for nearly 2 hours from 8:30pm. Apparently he came in and went straight up to bed, so my mum still doesn't know where he went.

I really don't want a repeat of this. Any ideas to help?

It could well be the start of cognitive decline rather than depression. No easy solutions sadly if he won't seek help.

The only way to manage the situation at the moment is obviously try to get him to open up about his feelings, if it is depression tell him there is treatment available and he should address it for your mum's sake if not his own.

If it is cognitive decline all you can do is make sure he has a fully charged phone on him so his contactable and with location on. Awful worry for you as you aren't close by. Can you go and visit soon and see what's going on?

Thanks @Janiie .
I hadn't thought of cognitive decline. God he would never admit to that!
Annoyingly I can't get to visit this weekend, but will go next weekend. Even if just to show him that he is loved and cared about.
I'm waiting to hear from mum this morning to see how he is.

when you speak to him, just let him know how worried mum (and also you) were that she didn’t know where he was. He’s allowed to go off on his own for a bit but should really let her know what he’s doing.

I think we need to get him a smart phone too. They currently have PAYG brick phones (ie - burner phones!) as he won't pay for a monthly subscription 🙄

Hello, I just saw this thread & wondered how your father is? Have you been able to persuade him to open up / seek help? I’m going through something a little similar with my dad (76), though he hasn’t admitted to being depressed or walked off.
move advised my mum she contact her own Dr & say how concerned she is (& also how she’s being affected), so hoping they will advise what steps can be taken for someone who won’t likely seek help independently.
i hope they will advise situation has improved for you x