How do I get it through to DH that you don't mess around with kids medication?

[shrinkingsagpuss]

It lokos as though DS has asthma. He's had a coulpe of attacks in the last few weeks, only resolved with a nebuliser and steroids.

He came home with an inhaler and sapcer, but he's 3, and freaked out by it. This is not helped by DH who think all drugs are bad. He says he doesn't want DS on long term medicaiotn, and refuses to give him more ventolin (we now have syrup) until he's seen a Doctor. He's more worried about side effects than the fact that Asthma can kill.

I'll take him to see the local GP tomorrow, and hopefully sort out a plan to get him used to the inhaler. I also want a nebuliser on loan until we get the inhaler sorted. I'm not trekking to out of hours GP every time he has an attack.


I'm a nurse. I know the ins and outs of asthma, and all the drugs. I jsut don't know how to deal with DH (who is anti drugs full stop, for anything. not sure what he'd do if one of us had a life threatening illness like cancer but never mind).

Has he ever seen your DS have an attack?If he hasn't find some footage of an attack if he has then remind him how terrible they can be then if he is still being unreasonable give him a hard kick in the nuts and make sure he can't have any painkiller for the pain!

I think you need to take your DH along to the GPs and get them to point out to him that by restricing access to your childs medication he is actu;lly putting his sons life at risk

He hasn't seen him have a really bad one (he's only had one bad one) which was at my mums, and it was only in hindsight that I realised for bad he was!!

Disenchanted, thats a good idea. He doesn't listen to me, but perhaps he'll listen to a GP (actually, not so sure, he should be on blood pressure meds, but refuses to take them as he doesn't like drugs)

tell him he is a twat from a parent of a dh who needs lifesaving drugs daily and a mother of two dc with asthma. sorry but he is.

what spacer do you have? does it have a mask with it?

when dd1 first had asthma, we used to all have a go with the inhaler and spacer (faking it obviously for us) to get her used to it. we even gave it to her toys as well.

How very cruel of your DH to prefer to see DS go through the terror of an asthma attack (and they can be truly terrifying)
than to give him the medication to help him.

Given your profession you'd think he'd deffer to your greater wisdom.

And how selfish of him to not take his blood pressure meds. Does he realise the greater risk of strokes and heart disease by doing so? Thats wrong when he has DC's to support.

DH's cousin died, aged 12 of an asthma attack.

The trouble with the spacer is that we haven't really had a chance to play with it. He's only had 2 attacks, and the first we got away with it. This time I felt he needed it, and he was sick in the end he hated it so much, so we ended up at on call care ( which was an experience in itself). I will carry on with the spacer, and try to get hm used to it. Its got teddy bears on it.

As for deferring to my knowledge - you must be joking. I think he thinks I make it up as I go along. I don't know what his problem i wiht drugs. Perhasp we'll find out soon?

this is what asthma can do

Your dh is being an idiot. It's a good idea to get your GP to point that out to him.

A simple message for him is: untreated asthma scars the lungs.

Unfortunately there are lots of people who are anti drugs. Many people here say similar about not taking drugs for headaches, etc.

Good idea to take him with you to the GP, but might also be worth phoning the GP beforehand to tell him of your concerns.

please make your dh understand how dangerous asthma can be,i lost my sister to this awful disease.

Asthma Kills.

They are the only 2 words you should need.

I am not sure taking him to the docs will be any use if he is anything like my father, who thinks all drugs are dangerous and/or useless, because he thinks docs are quacks and charlatans too.

There is no arguing with him that doctors have saved my brother's life, possibly more than once or even that they probably saved his when he collapsed with a water infection last Christmas and ended up in hospital for 3 days.

It depends how rational your DH is deep down. My father isn't in the slightest and would rather bury his head in the sand. I hope your DH is a bit more mature than that though.

I think seeing a full blown asthma attack (on video not your DS obviously) or at least reading a detailed description of one is the only way to frighten him. He has to reaslise that the drugs are vital.

Many years ago when I was at college, one week a lecturer was telling us that he'd been rushed to hospital the weekend before with a massive asthma attack brought on by an allergy (long time ago so may be a bit fuzzy on the details here) to something in home made beer which he'd drunk at a friends house.
He was quite lighthearted about it.
Two weeks later he didn't turn up for our lesson and the head of department said that he had died of an asthma attack 10 days after the near miss.

No-one in my family has asthma but this man's death 25 years ago made me realise how serious athsma is. Agree that DP should come with you to the docs and have it all explained to him. Also agree that you should phone the gp first so he knows that he will be dealing someone who wants to put his own preferences before his sons health or (god forbid) life.

dd1 had her first serious asthma attack at just over a year old. in one afternoon in a+e she had most of an inhaler through a spacer, and yet she was still wheezing. they sent her home with instructuions to take her back is she didnt improve. within hours she was back in a+e needing a nebulisers. even after the neb she was still wheezing and was admitted to the childrens ward overnight. her SATs were low. she had a couple of nebs thoughout the night plus more of her inhalers. she came home the next day very exhausted and sleepy.

two years ago at school, she was coughing. she doesnt always wheeze. by the time i had gotton her home, her chest was recessing and she was tired. i took her to the GP's, where she was seen pretty quick and put on another nebuliser. she was also put on a 3 day course of predisole (cant spell it) and extra inhalers. it aagain, happened a few months later.

seeing your child struggle to breathe is terrifying, as you dont know how they are going to respond each time. after the attack, dd1 is like a diffwerent child. she is sleepy, exhausted and quiet. it scares her, and scares us.

her medication has help keep her alive for years, she would be a lot worse without the inahlers.

your dh needs to get over his hatred of drugs to help keep his child alive. people forget that asthma kills and is a serious condition. and they shouldnt. its noy 'just an asthma attack' its very serious and puts peoples lives at risk.

hear, hear misdee ...

To your (dh, from an asthmatic adult, who has had my life saved by the drugs I'm on ...

Get real you stupid man! Asthma kills!

Think the idea of playing with the spacer is a good one ...

Re the spacer - what worked for us was everyone having a 'puff', counting, and then a big round of applause after doing it. So mummy, daddy, teddy, then DS - now its just him, but we still make a fuss of him taking it nicely. Start giving him a puff when he doesn't really, really need one to get him used to it all.

Your Dh is being a twonk, but your DS does need to see an asthma specialist to sort out a plan, and prob allergy tests

My DH is the same. Both of us have very mild asthma and DD was diagnosed by the GP about 8 months ago but DH won't accept she has it and won't let me use the inhaler on her because "it will poison her body and weaken her body in the long-term". Consequently I have to give it to her on the odd occasion she needs it when he's not there. Funnily enough I had to do it last night when she was waking up alot coughing once DH went to the loo, she stopped coughing after I gave her a puff and he's none the wiser. She's 11 months old BTW.

We've got an appoitnemet for next week - DH, DS and I (and DD oh fun). He seems to have settled down now, but is on steroids, so I presume it is them doing the trick.

DH is def of the "all docs are charlatans and over paid" bunch. I don't know where his fear of medication came from - whether it is linked to his mum dying of leukaemia, and mine of cancer I don't know. Maybe eh jsut thinks drugs do no good.

He doesn't like the idea of DS being on something long term. I think it is also the fact that his little boy might have a "flaw", he doesn't deal with imperfection well, and I think he will be constantly worried abouthim. Even I am listening to every damn breath right now, wondering whether he is wheezign.