If you needed a carer - who? Professional of DP/family?

[fungipie]

Following from another thread which I don't want to highjack- who would you want to care for you. Your partner, or a professional?

Personally, I would NOT want DH to look after me. He is a great guy, and has a lot of experience in the field- but it would change our relationship and I would not want this at all. I'd much rather he went to work, even if PT- and got on with his life, and bring back enough money so we can afford outside help.

What do you think?

I'm crossing my fingers that care robots will have been invented by then.

I’m my husbands carer, so we’d need to get someone in, as due to his own needs he would find it very difficult to do things like personal care etc due to his own disability. If it was just doing things like helping me manage my diabetes, he could do that no problem.

Professionals cost money.

Lots of money.

I agree, my own dad, when we offered to do his care, said he preferred it not to be family. Bless him he didn't allow me to do much, but I guess he (and I) were lucky in that he had enough money to afford outside care. And he got on great with his carer. It meant that until his dementia worsened we could still have a great dad/daughter relationship. I think I'd prefer the same.

Do you know how much care costs? ….reality is your DP would be working then return home and start caring for you….there would be no let up

I would not want to saddle a family member with that onerous burden.

But the cost of having a partner who is not working, is also huge. My mum said exactly the same florizel13- she wanted us children and my dad to be there for emotional support and company, fun, when possible. But would totally refuse that we should help bathe her and toilet her, etc. She had someone to get her up, wash and dress, and someone to put toilet and put to bed, etc, and meals delivered.