Dear all, I hope you're all doing well.
I am a first time mum and I have an 8 month old baby Alhamdulillah (Thank God).
However, my health has been causing me so much anxiety.
Last year, around the time I was 8 months pregnant, I had knocked my head onto the bookshelf just outside my kitchen as the metal part which separates the kitchen and living room became loosened and I caught my sandal on it and tripped hitting my right side of head onto the side of the bookshelf. So thankful my bump was safe. I was in too much shock to apply ice pack or anything. I was just crying and my husband took me to hospital when he returned to work after I called him. I cried so much my baby stopped moving so we were concerned and that's why we went hospital. They said baby was fine after doing the checks.
And thennnnn, a week or so later, while I stepped out of the shower, I slipped and narrowly missed falling face flat onto the floor! I hit the other side of my head on the tile! Of the bathroom next to the shower stand. This time I applied ice pack.
However, I noticed tinnitus literally a day or 2 after the first incident and thought it would go... I still have tinnitus. It's been nearly 9 months.
Also, my right side of my head, I feel that there is a tender spot which whenever is touched slightly like when I tuck my baby hairs behind my ear it hurts. It's so tender and I can't help but find myself prodding it again and again to try and see if it's actually me thinking it or it actually hurts... It actually hurts. The bone hurts.
Also, I have had mri for the tinnitus, my hearing is all normal they said. They said my tinnitus may be permanent and you just learn to live with it.
And I had another mri for head pain and both times the results came back normal, thank God. But I'm so so worried as to if the results are normal, why does my head still hurt and why do I still have tinnitus?
Can MRIs miss things because I've read that they can and therefore this is givinge huge anxiety because I'm sitting here thinking what if I have had a brain bleed or what if my head has a severe or even moderate damage and it's been missed?
I'm so sorry I may be sounding so daft and annoying but I really suffered from bad prenatal anxiety and had PPD early on after giving birth due to a traumatic fast birth and a horrible placenta removal.
I had my son after a miscarriage and he is literally the love of my life, has been ever since I first saw him in my first scan...the reason why I'm so broken is because of my health concerns surrounding my head because I'm always in a state of fear that what if things were missed from MRIs and I'm scared that I know tinnitus can be from traumatic brain injury and now I have had it for 9 months and head pain, it's so hard constantly worrying ahout this and worse part is I'm always in a state of anxiety feeling that I'm going to die because of this head trauma and it breaks me to the core because I just want to soak up the time with my son who I love so much. I do everything for him as best as I can but can't help but think I'm failing him because inside my heart I'm always worried. I don't want to miss out on these times.
I'm so sorry I sound so stupid and all over the place, I'm just a first time mum who is deeply in love with being a mum and who loves her son and wants to create good memories with him and watch him grow because I know that a lot of people don't have this and wish for a child. I have one now thank God, I can never thank H enough and I want to ensure I do everything I can for this child who is so dependent on me. I wish everyone who is on the journey of TTC all the success. You all are amazing and miracles happen everyday.
So sorry for the long post.