How can I stop scalding my hands?

[DesparatePragmatist]

I've come to the realisation that my habit of scalding my hands is a form of self-harm. I want to stop doing it.

In the past I had extremely bad eczema (hospitalised multiple times, bandages head-toe etc), and I also have several strong allergies as well as being photosensitive. I guess it's left me with an acceptance that my skin is fragile and I have to do weird things to manage it. I just say that as a way to contextualise why I've only just realised what I'm doing!

The scalding began as a way to neutralise unbearable itch so that I wouldn't scratch my hands to shreds. Then it became a way to prevent an itch reaction from starting if I had something irritating on my hands (from gardening, cooking, cleaning etc). But it's become a thing which brings relief when other stressors are present - which is when the penny finally dropped.

I run the hot tap and rub my hands under it in a washing motion, while the water gets hotter and hotter. Usually just at the point I can't stand it any more there's a surge of relief so strong my knees weaken. I feel angry if anyone interrupts me while I'm scalding, another sign this is no longer just an itch management thing.

I want to stop so I'm stopping - well, reducing the frequency and stopping temperature, as obviously I still need to wash my hands.

But I wondered whether anyone has experience or guidance in this? I don't want the behaviour to just transfer to something else.

Generally I've come to realise I appear outwardly confident but have quite a lot of masked anxiety - even from myself, which I do think is a factor in this weird way of achieving a feeling of release.

TLDR: I've realised that my hand scalding is self harm not itch control - any tips to stop?

I relate to this so much. That eczema euphoria from hot water is indescribable and definitely addictive.

It sounds like you’re aware that you need to deal with some of the underlying issues that are leading you to seek out this physical relief of tension.

On the practical side of avoiding the scalding until the underlying bits are more sorted :

Can you turn down the water temperature that your boiler will reach?

When you get the urge to scald, try and redirect towards a safer alternative that doesn’t give you the same high, which is definitely addictive I know.
Holding ice cubes works for me, also have tried snapping an elastic band against my wrist which I don’t find as effective but can work sometimes.

I find the more I open up about how anxious I am feeling, the fewer urges I feel to self-harm.

Euphoria is a perfect way of putting it! Sorry you're dealing with the same eczema issues though.

I thought the hot water was a safer alternative to scratching, which also eventually gives you that hit but leaves your skin in tatters- alas, hadn't worked out...

Turning down the boiler temperature is genius, thank you for that. I'll work out how to!

Alas neither of the other two would work for me - latex allergy and ice tends to set off an itch - but I take your point about finding another sensation to do the same job more safely. Overall I do think the answer lies in better mental health awareness and management, which I huess we're all working through.