Help with what to say!

[PinkLemur]

Hi all, I need advise on how to deal with my father, he visits me a lot and this week has has a terrible virus, absolutely floored him, on the first day he visited my home feeling unwell slightly, I told him to go home and rest, he then came to my home the next day feeling absolutely terrible and I was so annoyed as he knows that he could easily pass it on to me and my partner, I asked him to go home and rest and told him that we could easily catch it and need to take time off work, he said something a long the lines of, I hope you don’t catch it it’s going around, (don’t know anyone that has it currently) I said this too him and he said I shouldn’t have came to visit incase you do get it but proceeded to stay another 20 minutes, next day I am in the shower and get a ring door bell notification that he is at my door, he has taken a week off with how unwell he was and he again tried to visit, I just told him through the door cam that I was in the shower and I’d call him later, called later and said to him to stay home until he’s better as I didn’t want to catch his virus, he has been vomiting ect ect felt terrible.

now he’s is a funny mood with me, I know I’m right in asking him to stay home but I’m so annoyed at his persistence to come to my home when he’s clearly so unwell and not caring about the fact he is putting others at risk of getting sick,

now I’ve started to feel really unwell and I’m so annoyed, what would you all say to your family member who acted this way?

That would really boil my piss. Are you normally happy to see him because he sounds a bit controlling?

he pops in after work to visit most days which is starting to get a bit much as he seems to just vent about what’s going on in his life, always negative energy, I always change the subject when this kind of conversation starts, I need to find a way to tell him that he needs to visit less but don’t know how to word this to him as he can be extremely sensitive, I do love my dad but I don’t like this sort of inconsiderate behaviour

I suffer from auto immune disease, medications I take mean that I am immune compromised. I will not allow anybody into my house who is sick.

I would be telling your DF to go home and DO NOT RETURN until he is fully recovered.

It also annoys me that people go shopping when they are clearly unwell. It seems that Covid and lockdowns have taught us nothing.

Your DF is being thoughtless and selfish. If he is very sick he should be phoning his doctor for advice, not pestering you.

Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like a sick family member determined to visit to test the limits of your patience and familial love. It's a tightrope walk – that urge to care for them warring with the very real possibility of getting knocked down by the same illness yourself.

In your situation, your dad's repeated visits while clearly under the weather weren't just inconsiderate, they were a genuine health risk to both me and my partner. It's frustrating, to say the least.

Setting boundaries with family, especially around illness, can be tough. But at the end of the day, protecting my health and the health of those I live with has to be a priority. A calm and firm conversation, coupled with alternative connection methods, can hopefully make my dad understand my perspective and take the time he needs to recover before we see each other again.

Thankyou all for your responses, I really appreciate the time you have taken to help me with a response and help me feel that I’m not wrong to be annoyed