I know its not good, or healthy !!!

[maltesers]

As a single parent i got into the habit every night ( or nearly) having a drink, a glass of wine, well one two or three wines.. I have been single now 20 months and i hate it, and sometimes get very lonely. I know its not healthy but it just helps me feel better when i sit on my own every evening. I am a real fitness aholic so should know better... I know i am not turning into an alcoholic and know its not like that... at the moment it just a comfort thing. When i live with someone i have no need to drink like this , so i know it a bit sad to do this on my own.....What do you think about how much i drink ??????? advice please !

There's been stuff on the news recently about this sort of behaviour, especially amongst well educated, responsible working people.
They, like you, have 1/2, maybe 1 bottle a night, and because they're not in the pub, and they're drinking a "genteel" drink like wine, they don't see that they have a problem with drink.
I'm not saying that you do! Or that everyone who does this does.
However, drinking on your own because you're lonely is a rocky road, and the fact you say it makes you feel better and brings you comfort is sending off alarm bells for me. I believe you when you say you're not an alcoholic, but imagine yourself in a year, 2 years time... will you have stopped because you'll be living with someone or because you know better?
BTW I know the loneliness, I've been single for nearly 5 years now, and went thru the drinking thing too. One thing I will say after being in relationships and watching my married friends (I'd say 1 in 5 has a relationship I'd be happy with) is I'd rather be alone and deal with all the fall out from that, rather than be in a relationship with the wrong person. If you've got kids I guess loneliness is just something you have to deal with... by joining into things like mn!

You have to 'treat' yourself with something else other than alcohol. I found myself doing this even though I am in a happy relationship.

Now I give myself rules like no drinking on school nights and I look forward to my wine at the weekends. I don't tend to quaff (sp?) it so much and enjoy the flavour.

Have a bath with your favourite smellies, candles, magazine, music etc. This takes up the best part of an hour and sometimes helps the craving/desire to drink away. Another night do a home pedicure/manicure. Phone a friend or invite someone over.

Another thing that I found helpful was positive thinking. Write down ten good things about yourself. Put it on the fridge door or somewhere that you will see it regularly. Read it every morning to set you up for the day. HTH

thankyou mnetters... your advice was very helpful ... will take it all on board. Did not have a drink last night and can go for a week without.... always have, but it been since last summer that i have reached for a glass of Rose TBH. No wine here tonight, but i did accept a glass when i collected my 7 yr old ds from a friends at 6.30pm !!As i am typing on here i will proclaim the 10 good things to keep my chin up :::
I look 10 years younger than my age (well nearly !)
I am very fit
I have great legs
I have 3 beautiful offspring
I am a strong woman
I can cope as a parent on my own
I am a good mother (most of the time)

uuhhhhmmmmmm...actually have run out of good points ..........
Here are the bad things :
Lonely without a husband/partner
On benefits/ no money
No home of my own
S O R R Y just had to get that out !!!

Its all to easy to find negative things.

I remember when I was doing my ten good things the first five were really easy but it was a real push to find five more. Ask your children what they think are your good points. You might be pleasantly surprised.

You sound like you are a lot happier than most women I know who are married with careers and husbands and money.

Hang onto that thought as you sound like a person who has searched within and NOT found yourself lacking. Good for you. I don't have any advice but with an attitude like that, you will be a happy person for the rest of your natural.