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I struggle to speak and have conversations correctly, what’s wrong with me?

3 replies

Cordlessbrain · 28/02/2024 13:46

I wasn’t sure where to post this but I’ve been struggling with it all of my life and I’m not sure why or if there is a unknown cause for it.
basically when I am angry, upset or anxious I mix up my words ‘accidentally on purpose.’
For example if I’m frustrated by something i don’t let myself think of the correct words to use in a sentence and blurt out whatever feels easier to say, sometimes it’s deliberate to make my life easier other times I can’t control it. so ‘eat your dinner or late’ should be ‘finish your breakfast or we’ll be late’.
Other examples: ‘drink?’ - ‘have you had a drink with your meal’
’dinner?’ - ‘what do you want for dinner tonight’
‘Look for clothes’ - ‘have you got clean clothes/uniform for tomorrow’
Calling coats, shoes is another common mistake, as is water/bottle and kitchen roll/bath towel. I’ve called people ‘it’ rather than their name when my brain hasn’t caught up enough to remember who I’m talking to/about. I mostly call our pets by their animal name so cat/dog rather than what we named them. A recent spillage made me ask for the paper, when I meant the mop. There are many others but I’d be here all day listing them.
I try and say the bare minimum for it to make sense, and I find it difficult to get out the words, full sentences can often put me in a bad mood. I don’t enjoy conversations with people often and trail off to one word until they stop. I don’t have this issue when it’s written down wording which is why I text friends and family instead. I know I seem like I’m in a bad mood face to face even when I’m not.
I have no issue with my memory, I can clearly remember things from when I was 2 years old and I have photographic memory going back years too.
It’s been made worse over the years by my husbands way of speaking. He grew up with a bad stutter and sometimes he will struggle to get out words. I lose patience and it makes me angry. I know he can’t help it and it makes me feel guilty, but waiting for him to speak and for using the longest sentences over a simple option makes me lose patience with him. He speaks slow and I get very impatient. I never express this to him, but he knows when I’ve had enough as I have what I feel is a sensory overload and need space from everyone for 10 minutes. I prefer silence and not speaking where possible.
I’ve never really delved into why this happens to me before but after a Google search it appears it could be connected to SEN? I was presumed to have a bad temper as a child due to my impatience with others, but it genuinely stresses me out waiting for people to speak or doing things in such a way that makes me anxious. I also experienced abuse which made me terrified to speak for years, I’m not sure if this could be connected.
Could it be adhd/bi polar/ personality disorder/ autism? I feel like a doctor would fob me off or assume I have memory issues or early onset dementia, despite being in my late 30s.
Has anyone else had/got this or know someone that does? Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
Elisheva · 28/02/2024 13:48

It’s called Word Finding Difficulties. It’s a speech and language disorder.

Cordlessbrain · 28/02/2024 15:59

Oh wow, thank you! I had no idea it was recognised or had a name. I’ll look into it and see if my gp will be able to shed some more light on it. Thanks again

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 28/02/2024 16:12

why not try some counselling.

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