please please advise - 8 year old ddkeeps on soiling underwear!

[worrybum]

And i'm talking number 2s!!!! She regularly has had dirty underwear for as long as I can remember and I have always put it down to her not wiping properly or holding it and not going when needing to. Over the last few months/several weeks it seems to be more regular and bigger amount though and you can even smell when she has done it. This weekend has been the worst ever, has probably soiled them about half a dozen times and quite an amount. She doesn't seem to be able to explain propely why it is happening. I don't think she is being lazy, we have even tried rewarding her with extra pocket money if she goes a whole day with clean underwear. Am ow going to take her to docs, am worried sick it might actually a medical problem and I'm a crap mum for not realising sooner!!!!! Anyone had similar exp?

YOu need to take her to the doctors, this is a classic sign of chronic constipation.

No expert but just wonder if she is constipated? I believe if you are, poo can 'leak' around the compacted faeces. She would therefore go to the loo when she gets the urge and probably produce something too, though may be not much, but then wouldn't necessarily be aware of the 'leaks'. From her perspective she is therefore doing everything right. Does that make sense? But your dr is the way to go.

Oh, and you are NOT a crap mum. It's not unreasonable to assume that some kids take a little longer to sort out the wiping and so on.

Yes I though that after googling, she did seem to have it a little before Christmas and sorted it with lactulose..... have given her some lactulose again yesterday and today and she has passed several average sized stools but still soiling pants at same time. She does not eat a lot of veg but eats fruit and drinks fruit juice.

was going to say the same thing. a little girl i knew had the same thing and it turned out she actually had a wheat/lactose intolerance which was causing the constipation and then the leaking around it.

I hope it can be sorted easily, she appears healthy in herself and always has bags of energy so it must be something like constipation. It must be so awful for her because at 8 she knows that it's not a socially acceptable thing to do and in my ignorance I have previously scolded her for it, even in front of relatives

Sorry but ignorance doesn't wash with me, how would you like it if your husband mentioned something so personal about you in front of your relatives! Don't tell her off again, do you really think she'd be shitting her knickers at the age of 8 if she could stop herself?

I am having this problem with my 10 yr old daughter, it has been going on got about a year, in her case it is mainly wee, but she is lazy about going to the toilet when she should, shell get up in the morning and not go to loo like everyone else, sits having her b/fast then disappears! She smells at times, even I hear some of her friends at school have remarked on it. I have tried to be tolerant, but its when you find them hidden for about 4 weeks its not nice! The two boys are so opposite, if they get a spot of wee on their pants they change them! Ar the moment I have bought her some little panty liners , some really pretty new pants and popped them in her drawer, and without trying to make an issue just told her to try the liners, that I use them and they keep you nice and fresh! I dont say anything in front of the boys, I remember growing up with 4 brothers!

Take her to the doctor. Unless there are some major issues going on in your family that might mean she is distressed and acting inappropriately, then it's probably just constipation, but it would be better to get it checked out and sorted.

I know it's awful, believe me nobody can beat me up about it more than I am myself. She very often leaves it until the last moment to go for a wee and has accidents because she is so absorbed in whatever she is doing and I initially thought it was part of the same problem. I just hope that the docs can help me get it sorted for her quickly.

Thanks ladies

Triplets - IKWYM! DD can be very secretive when she has soiled underwear and often hides them behind wash basket!!! I've told her to let me know when it happens so that I can help her and also monitor the situation but I think that as they get older they must get more embarrased. I remember my grandmother actually finding some she had hidden at her house once when we had visited!!! Usually I am very patient and understanding but the time I told her off was when we were at relatives for dinner and it was such a mess and no change of clothes. I feel so awful about it now. Can't imagine how she felt, we were upstairs out of the way when I raised my voice but they could have heard . We've had a good talk now and cleared the air..... don't care if I'm paying for therapy in 10 years time, I'll do anything to make it better!!!!!

Madamez - I can't think of anything that could be causing her stress. We did move house back in October but we have more family here where we are, she has changed schools but has settled in really well and says she prefers this school to her last.....got a glowing report from her teacher at parents evening and she is always getting invites to friend houses and vice versa, no bullying issues or anything like that. The only thing is she says she sometimes finds the house strange and is not used to it but I can never get her to elaborate any more than that.

have rang gps this morning and spoke to doc, have an appointment for this afternoon, hoping all will be okay

Good luck Worrybum, let us know how it goes. I'm sure there will be an easy explanation.

BTW, don't feel too bad about losing your temper with her. Completely understandable I think, its not unreasonable for a child of her age to not be soiling. As long as you have cleared the air, and a solution is on its way then don't forget we are all human.

Main thing is to get it sorted - if it is constipation then probably there isnt a quick fix I am afraid as you say it has been going on for a while. What sometimes happens is that the nerves that control the bowel get damaged (meaning loss of control) and even once the "blockage" has cleared, it takes a while for the nerves to get back to normal - so accidents will still happen. Rule of thumb is that however long the problem has been there for, it may take that long to (gradually) get back to normal.

If it is constipation then once any compacted blockage has cleared (this may need medication eg Movicol) then you will need to focus on diet; liquid intake, fruit and fibre intake, plus possibly continue with some medication; plus regular going to toilet - monitor to make sure going regularly so problem doesnt build up again.
Also worth sometimes giving one off dose of medication for worms as with lots of such accidents, worms very common.

Best of luck and hope it is sorted soon. School holidays a good time to really use any medication as it can cause accidents to increase to begin with until you get it more under control.

Sorry hope I havent rambled on too much.

just to add: incontinence often goes with constipation

when ds2 had this he often leaked little bits of wee as well as poo - the wee was because there was loads of pressure on his bladder because his bowel was so full of poo

medication like movicol can work wonders but you are probably in for a long haul - it can take the same amount of time to sort the problem out as it's been going on