Cancer Support Thread 93 - The Thread for the Dread and the Not Yet Dead? Everything you need to know about Cancer but didn’t want to know

[LemonDrizzle10]

Shiny new thread.

@Enigma52
Thanks for your kind words regarding my decision. The consultant (who isn't married or parent) kept asking me that surely my DC would prefer to know and can be supportive in me having treatment. I replied that yes, I'm sure that they would want to be supportive but based on what happened last time then it would cause them to stop concentrating on their exams and their own health would take a severe nosedive. After my treatment ended last time DC's diabetes care was such a bloody mess that it took me over a year to get them back to where they had been and then there was the self harming etc. It was an utter car crash and they're still on AD's even now although my cancer is not the full reason that they are mentally unwell as there's a lot of stuff tangled up in their MH issues. DC is on 5 different daily medications, two of which keep them alive so dropping the ball just isn't feasible. What I'm clinging on to is that they have gotten better over the last two years and if I can get DP to actively parent better/more then I can concentrate on myself more I guess.

@MothralovesGojira Yes, I can totally understand your rationale. You know your DC best and are acutely aware of how this news will affect them mentally. Your consultants job is to treat you and his views will obviously differ.

If DC have gotten better of late, then as you say, DP may need to up his game on the parenting front, so you can focus more on you.

It sounds as though you have thought about this long and hard. Do you have good support in the real life? You have lots to cope with @MothralovesGojira so definitely offload in what I call "CSS" ( cancer safe space ) 🌷

@catmomof3 how are you doing?

@Enigma52 Not great, had a few wobbles today and cried and cried. My period pains are also making me feel even more exhausted than usual. My daughter was feeling upset earlier as she is worried about what was happening and I keep telling her I'm gonna be fine even though I don't have the answer for that. She see's me exhausted in bed already and I haven't even got my treatment plan yet.

I just want to start treatment as I'm scared the tumour will get worse and make me sicker. 😢

@Tilllly now, a wee break away. Would you fly somewhere in the UK or do you just want land travel?
@Enigma52 I got ADP money before I got a text or a letter.
@catmomof3 I really do know where you're coming from I am totally hospital, never mind needle,phobic. I highly also recommend the picc line. I got Lorazapam from GP to take before getting it in and it was fab. They put contrast dye in ut, chemo, immunotherapy, game blood, don't feel a think. Cannula normally I'm passing out all over the place! You'll get treatment started once they know the best thing to treat you with. I know it's super scary, but just keep holding on for another few days and you'll know what's what.
@MothralovesGojira you absolutely do what's right for your family!

Got my lymphodema stockings - left leg up to thigh and right up to knee. Braw!!! After all our snow today (check out Windy Wilson on TokTok for my local area today) we may have 14+ tomorrow 😀 Scotland- 4 seasons in a day.

@Whatevershallidowithmylife Whereabouts in Scotland are you? I travelled down from the north Highlands to Pitlochry today. It was lovely seeing snow on the peaks - exactly how I best remember the Cairngorms. Hoping for 13 degrees tomorrow, might need to crack open the sunscreen for my sensitive Scottish skin!

@Whatevershallidowithmylife I always think you need a degree to put those passion killer surgical stockings on! My big toe always seems to poke through!

Maybe the money is legit then? It was such a shock.

@catmomof3 The time between diagnosis and treatment, is horrific, You catastrophize and nothing makes sense. One foot forward each time and don't forget stop to cry/ sleep/ rest when you need. Your team will have a solid plan; try to take a little comfort from that 🌻

@SewingBees We're in the central belt but Glendagles is just a short spin away if you know the roads well enough. Sunscreen for sunburn or wind chill though?? Heading through over to east Coast tomorrow- nothing better than sea air to blow away the cobwebs.

@Enigma52 yep, I reckon so.

@Enigma52 I got my PIP payment first, followed by letter a week or so later, so it's probably right.

I see lots going on but don't have time to read properly now so will be back later on. I hope you're all doing alright (as alright as you can be anyway...) 💐

@lucysmam it's so weird though. The payment went in at midnight on 3rd April. The deadline for form return was 4th April ?

So I just got a copy of the letter the gynaecologist sent to my gp and I’m confused.

It says “there was indeed a papillferous mass arising in the endocervix and encroaching into the left posterior vaginal fornix. The appearances are of cervical neoplasia. Examination was difficult so I could not assess the parametria bi-manually”

What does the last part mean? I think I understand the first part which rules out a hysterectomy as it’s not contained in just the cervix (also explains my awful back cramps). Does it mean he couldn’t measure it?

@catmomof3 sorry, no idea. When are you seeing them?

My MDT is Friday so will know more then. One step closer to treatment.

@catmomof3 parametric is just a posh word for pelvic examination. Bimanual means one hand on your belly and one up your vagina. An MRI gives much more accurate findings without assaulting you. You are nearly at the point of learning the plan! Stay strong xx

@TopOfTheCliff That makes more sense thank you, though he didn't even attempt that, the most he did was insert his fingers but I think he gave up because by then I had worked myself into a panic attack when he said it was cancer. Also hoping that's the most it has spread but can't be sure till Friday.

Incidentally where is Princess @Tilllly ? I hope you are okay as I haven’t seen you in the Happy Place Cafe or on the cancer threads for a few days. Sending love and oxygen xx

Mmmmm..... @Tilllly are you okay ??

I'm here, I'm ok.

I'm sorry, didn't mean to worry anyone
I've been sleeping a lot and generally busy

Various home assessments now for oxygen, walkers etc

A physio who said "I want to see what you're like in the bedroom now" and "get into bed for me" followed by a report reading "Tilllly has concerns in the bedroom"
Took a lot of self control not to titter like a schoolgirl

In terms of travel trips

No flying or overseas

Other than that, no limits. Dog friendly for some, will go without her for others
Had a couple of recommendations of hotels with hot tubs and nice places to visit nearby

A physio who said "I want to see what you're like in the bedroom now" and "get into bed for me" followed by a report reading "Tilllly has concerns in the bedroom"

Just love the way English language! The ability to play on words is endless! 🤔😀

@Tilllly I love your physio. Just perfect!

Can you remind me where you are in the UK, roughly? I'll have a think about great weekend breaks. Chatted to my work friend about it yesterday (outing, but we're in the Travel industry!!!), and The Pig hotels were mentioned immediately.

@Tilllly my head went straight to carry on film scene of your bedroom concerns - oe err missus!! If you don't have anywhere you particularly want to go or see or do, choose beach, village or forest, stick a pin in the map and go there. Take every moment as an adventure now. Sometimes the more planning the less enjoyable? We drove for over an hour yesterday to a very stormy beach in Fife and had a fish supper watching the white horses (waves) battering the rocks. Good for the soul (but not for DP ears as me and the dogs snored all the way home)😀 Off shopping with mum and sister today too, thank goodness for steroids!

@Tilllly I can really recommend this place https://www.burghisland.com/
although I know it’s been up for sale recently?

Urghhh, struggling today.

Lung fluid needs draining ( scheduled for Wednesday). Everything seems an effort. 🙁

West Yorkshire

Pig hotels? What the...? 🐽