ALCOHOLISM - AT WHAT POINT DO YOU.....

[BitLessTiredNow]

say to dh, dp, friend etc 'this is more than social drinking' - not talking vodka bottle in the cistern or am hair of the dog, but what were your other causes for concern? And if you said anything, what happened?

Me and my ex-p got to the point where we were drinking a bottle of wine EACH every night!! I thought we ought to knock it on the head pronto because not only was it bad for my [expanding] waistline, but it was costing us at least a tenner a day. It also affected us getting up for work in the mornings too. I realised that as i have an addictive personality and i'd given up smoking, that the drinking could quite easily become my next addiction if i didn't knock it on the head - and sharpish!

So i did and now DP and I enjoy a bottle between us once or twice a week.

BLTN, you can say what you like to your friend - if they're an alcoholic in denial it won't make a blind bit of difference. There isn't much else you can do, other than make sure that you are not in the firing line.
I know that's not much help, but I am talking from personal experience - there's a lot of alcoholism in my family.

My ex was/is an alcoholic. I think I first noticed it becoming a problem when I started to really be quite upset with the way he behaved when out socially. It wasn't just vague embarrassment about him being a bit too gregarious and jolly but when I noticed he was not quite getting conversations that were going on around him but kept blathering on in a non-sensical (sp?) way.

Also before he got to the hiding booze stage I did notice just a general increase of spirits in the house. Wine and beer we would drink together, but he started buying different spirits.

The hardest thing was the lying, the promising to cut down but secretly drinking more and the endless repeating of things he had already told me only hours before.

thanks for these, it's all helpful. This is still at the stage of 3-4 glasses of wine a night, possibly a bottle, but with no off days (ie alcohol free) and when out socially a lot more, but always up with everyone in the morning, house and kids fine etc

Sorry BLTN, i dont think my post was at all helpful with what you were looking for.

My dh is hiding beer and this weekend we had friends over and i got a half full bottle of vodka out...it was stagnant water. he has tried to blame it on my mother who is an alcoholic. I know its him.

no, it was RG - please don't blush.

bumping

BitLessTiredNow - I'd say mention it now. Drinking a couple of glasses of wine a night is not great but it's happening all over the country. Maybe by just saying to your friend or family member that you're going to try and be a bit healthier.

If you're in a situation where you're living with someone who drinks a bit much, you can approach it gently by just raising it as a general concern rather than saying 'I think you drink too much'. Depending on their reaction you'll start to get an idea how resistant to the idea they are.

Is this the kind of situation you are in?

You say the person is able to get up and function normally the next day so it sounds like things are still under control.

I don't think its always about huge quantities, you can be alcohol dependent if you can't go without a glass of wine every evening / or G+T after work, or whatever it is.

Its the attachment and not being able to give up that i find worrying in some friends, not necessarily that I see them steaming around pissed beyond recognition (which of course, IS very worrying).

yes poodle, it is certainly an attachment issue. Beanie, I think you are right, but I am so bad at tact and worry I will make the situation worse. My worry is that there are never any nights off, and I think it is a bit out of the normal range. Last night this person was scratching at their leg uncontrollably for hours, and a stupid overreactive bit of me thought - that's it, liver disease - which I know is silly, but my imagination is getting away from me a bit.