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Original poster

I am thinking of giving up drinking for a year. Does anyone want to join me?

94 replies

gracepaley · 21/03/2008 13:44

I surely will not have enough willpower to do it alone, I can barely manage a week.
BUT - am splitting up with dh, trying to get over a totally ridiculous and destructive non affair with someone, and generally trying to become menschish, and I think being clear headed would help.
Zippi you did this didn't you. Htf did you do it? I LOVE WINE. WINE is GREAT.

OP posts:

Wisteria · 21/03/2008 18:12

God no.............sorry, you're on your own! Why a year? It's far too long surely? I have enough trouble just missing a couple of days but don't drink more than a glass of red Mon-Thurs and only a few glasses more at the weekends.

My Dad gives it up for lent each year, just to prove to himself that he isn't an alcoholic ..

kokeshi · 21/03/2008 18:14

That depends, icod, on the nature of her drinking. Abstinence is really the only solution for people who have ongoing issues with drink.

Miggsie · 21/03/2008 18:14

I gave up for a month...10 years ago...not missed it tbh!

Wisteria · 21/03/2008 18:20

Not really kokeshi - if there are problems with alcohol then complete abstinence for ever is generally the only way IME...not just for a year,

kokeshi · 21/03/2008 18:38

I'm not sure what you're trying to say there? But, no-one can say they will be completely abstinent forever, it's totally unrealistic. We can try to attain that by taking it a day at a time though.

Creating an unrealistic goal like a year with with no evidence of being able to do it for more than a week is setting oneself up for failure right away IME. We only have the day in hand.

It's not easy to stop drinking and it's usually only when people decide to 'prove' they can do it, they realise just how difficult it actually is. It's a huge lifestyle change, and a lot of hard work.

3NAB · 21/03/2008 18:51

We are finishing the last little bit of Champagne and then hubby and I will start tomorrow.

expatinscotland · 21/03/2008 19:05

seriously, if you can barely manage a week, i'd suggest just staring one day at a time.

if alcohol is a crutch for you, and you need outside support to give up, honestly, re-examine your definition of alcoholism.

onlyjoking9329 · 21/03/2008 20:20

Give up alcohol? er no sorry i can't join you on that one.

Scattybird · 21/03/2008 20:23

Perhaps if you try a month to start with, see how it goes. I know many people rely on their 'treat' at the end of a day.

BUT A YEAR - Ye Gods, I would think of Weddings, Barbies, and parties where I might let my hair down.

madamez · 21/03/2008 21:16

I think drinking is only a problem when it becomes a problem ie you are spending more than you can afford on it, messing up work because you're either pissed or hungover, and falling out with friends because you drink way more than you should every time you see them. But I'd kind of agree with the posters who say that, if you are worried about your own drinking, try stopping for a week and if it's really, awfully hard, try looking into some kind of support to stop altogether.
Now I am not going to wholeheartedly endorse AA or any of the 12-step programmes as I think they can be a bit culty and a bit counterproductive, though they do appear to work for some people.

CodofCodHall · 21/03/2008 21:17

Gawd no. I NEED wine

expatinscotland · 21/03/2008 21:18

or when you start feeling guilty about it or having concerns about how it might be affecting your health.

expatinscotland · 21/03/2008 21:19

i think when you start thinking, 'do i drink too much' often enough, then you already know the answer to the question.

Bluestocking · 21/03/2008 21:23

Grace, you will feel so much better for giving it up. I stopped drinking in October 1994 and honestly, it was one of the best things I ever did.

madamez · 21/03/2008 21:28

Expat, I'm not entirely sure about it being a problem if you wonder about it - it can depend a bit on your peer group. there have been one or two threads on here in the past where teetotal partners were getting terribly stroppy about their OHs having two glasses of wine a week.

expatinscotland · 21/03/2008 21:29

Yeah, but it was the partner and NOT the person in question.

If you think it's a problem, grace, then it is.

Monkeytrousers · 21/03/2008 21:29

I am so tipsy I read the title as;

'I am giving up drink driving for a year - does anybody want to join me'

No ta

sherby · 21/03/2008 21:31

Stopped drinking over 3 yrs ago and never looked back

People look like complete tits when they are drunk, which is all the more entertaining to me

expatinscotland · 21/03/2008 21:40

it's expensive, too.

kokeshi · 21/03/2008 22:15

Madamez, do you have any experience of AA or any other 12 step programme? Interested to know where you're getting the 'culty' and 'counter-productive' thing from...

Like I said, denial is a strong element of alcoholism, and it's generally true that the ones who protest they're not an alcoholic, generally on on a slippery slope towards it.

Not one person in an addiction treatment centre starts off on a bottle of spirits a day, it's a slow, insidious addiction and alcoholic is usually the last to know.

If you're defensive about your drinking I think you should start to be alarmed, once it gets to the stage that it affects you're work, or family, it's really too late to turn back the clock and become a temperate drinker.

I heard someone say that the only people who will say they're alcoholics are in AA or recovery, the rest are in denial. Something to think about.

madamez · 21/03/2008 22:33

Kokeshi, thank you for such an excellent example of why AA should be approached with caution. All cults and moneygrabbers love to tell you that you are in denial about whatever they can take your money/time/ autonomy to fix.

For the rest, some people I know have had unpleasant experiences with persistent bullying from 12-step groups, and the higher-power crap puts others right off.

Remotew · 21/03/2008 22:39

No, but good luck and I respect you for you choice. Sorry havent read the thread. Saying that I've been ill for a while so this is the first night I've drank alchohol for a while and did not really miss it before. But I need to unwind and the wine does it.

Original poster

gracepaley · 21/03/2008 23:14

hmmm. I know I am not an alcoholic, although I completely appreciate what you are saying Kokeshi. I just want to try a different sort of life - it's the same as wanting to get REALLY fit, instead of just a bit. I've always drunk, always enjoyed it, but I just wonder what life would be like without it, what I would be like without it, and given that things are uber stressful at the moment, I might as well give it a go.
But I think it's interesting that there is no support out there apart from AA, that you have to define yourself as an alcoholic before you can get help to stop drinking. bluestocking, sherby, what did you do? Were you AA or did you just decide to stop?

OP posts:

Janni · 21/03/2008 23:22

You would definitely find more companions to join you if you said 'a month' - you could review the challenge at the end of that period.

If you do a year you might as well give up altogether and not many of us want to do that.

PABLOP · 21/03/2008 23:25

I think its great gracepaley, You are right it will help you through difficult times if you are clear headed, I gave up drinking when I discovered I was pregnant absolutley great not waking up with a hangover and losing most of the next day feeling awful. You go for it, let us know how you get on!

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