Herpes outbreak - when will it end???

[ChristmasGutPunch]

Week 5 of first outbreak with constant, daily symptoms (been on anti-virals since day 2!).

Feel genuinely traumatised can't believe this is my life now. Haven't had a waking second since before Christmas where it hasn't been all I can think about and it's so uncomfortable! The nerve pain makes me feel like I've shed a decade and I don't have the energy for the gym or to see friends.

I know they say it's really common but I don't see how it can be or society would crumble from all the inability to function.

Keep reading about people who "only" have two or three outbreaks a year after a decade or so and I can't believe this is my life now. Can't think about anything else.

Hate also that I've become one of those people posting despairingly about their incurable nerve pain on the internet :(

Sorry. Guess I would just like to know if anyone had month plus first time then things somehow improved. Fear I'm just one of those people who is going to have it badly.

I'm sorry you're going through this. My daughter had outbreaks in different places (genitals, face, hands) for the first few months. 2 years on, she's just had 1 cold sore in the last year. Have you tried taking lysine supplements too? Also this is a great resource herpes.org.uk

Thanks. It's really all consuming. I want to just distance myself from it as a minor thing but it doesn't feel that way!

Glad your daughter is doing better.

Hey,

Sounds very much like my first experience of herpes 14 years ago. Severe pain, tiredness, itchy and just general feelings if grossness. The outbreak was around my bum area. Continued to have outbreaks every few months for the first couple of years. You'll know when you're about to have one because it tingles.

14 years on, I get very mild symptoms maybe once every 1-2 years. Sometimes take aciclovir if I really need to but mostly it clears up after a week with little pain.

Can you increase the mg dose at all? Have you been back to your GP/sexual health clinic?

Otherwise I found warm baths with a bit of salt in helps dry out the area and helps healing. I find out have an outbreak if I'm feeling particularly run down, stressed (or strangely) when my period is due. I know it won't help you necessarily now, but maybe something to keep an eye on in future. Keeping your immune system high is the best medicine.

Thanks. God. Years. Multiple outbreaks. This really is awful stuff. I think over a month of thinking about this down the line has just broken my resilience for life. It feels like carrying a giant rock I can never put down again.

I should caveat in my experience, the first outbreak was the worst and were progressively less aggressive after each subsequent outbreak. Wishing you a speedy recovery now. I know the doctor can prescribe a loading dose for first outbreaks. If yours are frequent/severe after the first, you can ask to have medication daily to keep the virus suppressed. Please speak to your GP again if you haven't already.

Have you tried vitamin C? Whenever I have an outbreak 6-7 1000mg tablets 4-5 times a day. Usually dried within 1-2 days. It boosts your immunity and suppresses the virus.

Thanks. I've got a selection of home remedies I'm working through. I don't think I can live with the signs of this (but I appreciate I now have no choice). Feels like my body is ruined and dangerous.

Was it your GP or a sexual health clinic you went to with this? If it was your GP, I'd really recommend booking an appointment with your nearest NHS sexual health clinic. The staff are so knowledgeable about things that might help but also, they are often much better than GPs at talking to you about it. It is a difficult thing finding out you have been saddled with something like this long term and sexual health specialists are well-placed to counsel you a bit.

Thanks. It was a sexual health clinic and they were really nice and practical and I appreciated them but this has gone on so much longer than I thought and I feel a bit deranged with it, to be honest. Feel have lost my body and a bit haunted by the knowledge that I'll be dangerous to intimate partners for the rest of my life. The thread about people enjoying sex into their 90s had me in tears. I'll never be able to enjoy carefree happy sex again :(

I don't really worry about the stigma personally but it has weirded me out a bit that the small number of people I've told clearly find it a bit disgusting. (DH aside he has been very nice about it despite not having it himself, which I know is a big thing). Going to have to keep this secret forever.

I know people get on well with the suppressants but the tingling in my bum and legs just won't go away. Feel insane!

Sorry, I know you're not my therapist it just helps to express it outside of my head a bit.

One of the difficult things about STIs is that people don't talk about them. According to statistics, all of us will have friends/relatives with an STI but because of the stigma no one will talk about it.

It's brilliant that your DH has been so understanding. If he hasn't caught it from you already (and actually he could have been the one to introduce it to you I think? - I think people can carry it without having an outbreak?) then you should be able to look forward to having sex once this outbreak is dealt with. It won't go on forever.

I'd try a positive focus on things that will boost your immune system like getting out in the fresh air, exercise, eating foods that are good for the gut (like live yoghurt) as well as the more obvious immune-boosting things like vitamin C etc. It's useful to have a focus on what you CAN do to try and shift the negative feelings surrounding what you can't do right now.

Sorry you're going through this - it's undeniably awful.

I've been stocking up on probiotics (supposedly some are proven to support the immune system specifically in this way) and various other supplements. My worry is that because I'm still feeling nerve pain after all this time maybe I have HIV too. The ulcers are all gone but the nerve stuff won't let up for a minute. I need to stop thinking about this I know. Help some other people, read a book.

Apparently it is hugely common and most people have 1 version of the herpes simplex virus, even if they don't know it. I was very lucky in my early 20's when a man I was intending on going to bed with stopped me at the last minute and very openly told me he had herpes and thought I should be able to choose from a place of knowledge. I have been forever grateful to him for that and feel very sad more people don't do this as a general rule. Hopefully for our DC it will be a thing of the past as mine are signed up for the HPV vaccinations.

I'd do a bit of research on the different types too as some can cause other health issues further down the line where others are pretty much dormant. I feel for you but agree it isn't spoken about much, even to the point people try to hide cold sores or won't leave the house if they have one!

Did the clinic not run a full batch of tests? They insisted on it when I first went in with HPV.

Did they not test you for HIV (and everything else) when you were at the sexual health clinic?

You could always request it to set your mind at ease if not?

I was exactly like this last year.

Just out of a 20+ year dead bedroom marriage and finally enjoying a wonderful sex life with a new partner.

Then had a massive outbreak of genital herpes. Never had anything like it before although the past couple of years, I'd had several unpleasant bouts of shingles.

The mental distress was huge, like you I thought my life was ruined, couldn't talk to anyone about it and it took me 3 days to tell my new DP. He was utterly gorgeous about it, reassuring me that it made absolutely no difference to him at all.

The physical symptoms were horrific. The pain from the blisters was like nothing else and I really struggled to urinate. For about a week, I was holding wet cloths against me while I peed then using warm damp cloths to gently dab myself afterwards. The nerve pain was excruciating- far worse than anything I'd experienced with shingles and I'd had that quite badly!

At its worst, I sat in the bath for four hours just so I could wee as I'd become so scared of the pain, I'd gone most of the day without going.

I told no-one apart from DP and my best friend. Because I was so poorly though, I had to tell people something so I just said I had shingles again. I have no intention of telling anyone else ever actually.

Even though it was awful and I was so distressed, it did go away (although the nerve pain lingered) and I've had zero symptoms since.

I've got more anti-virals which I can take at the slightest hint of it returning but I'm choosing to believe that was my once and done experience. If it does return, I'm reassured that most people never have it as bad as the first time.

DP and I are planning our future together and our sex life continues to be very frequent, varied and pretty wonderful.

So, it doesn't have to be the nightmare you're imagining. With any luck, it'll go and you'll never have it again.

Fingers crossed for you xx

HPV is different from HSV (HPV can be vaccinated against and goes away).

On HIV, they didn't test my blood (I was too upset and I think I'd have vomited with fear if they'd tried). I know I need to get it checked eventually and I know knowing is the responsible and adult thing to do but I can't face it yet I need to chunk this out.

A couple of treatments are currently under investigation. I really hope they work and are available asap but realistically that's going to be 2030 at the earliest. Still, fingers crossed...

Thanks @PotatoCatkin I am clinging to stories like yours. The tingling is driving me insane. I'm trying to be positive and meet friends and things then my bum will start burning away while I'm making polite chat. Hope to heck I end up with a quiet version.

I got herpes the first time I ever had sex. It was horrendous and lasted what seemed like forever. But, just to reassure you, that was over 20 years ago and I have not had a second outbreak. Hopefully it's forever dormant.

Thank you for your reassurance and sorry you are in this shit club and fingers crossed for all of us!

I've had it for about 10 years, at first it was dreadful. I even had blisters in my armpit. I think that lasted about a month.

Since then I've had an outbreak twice a year, or if I've got a flu or cold I'll usually get the herpes as well.

Vitamin C is really good, I take multivitamins from Holland and Barrett and these days I hardly notice when I do get a flare up.