6 months after breast radiotherapy, lots of tiny moles and one big one

[SprogTakesAQuarry]

I know I just need to contact the breast team tomorrow morning. I’m not even sure why I’m posting to be honest.

Going to see my parents (both dementia) tomorrow til Weds. Dont want to let them down by needing to cancel. I was meant to be down yesterday, but been wiped out by a virus.

Oh ballsy, balls. I just need to sleep and then it will be tomorrow and I can action this.

Kind of want to mention to DH, but it’s been so nice having months of no health worries, and telling him will break that spell. And there’s no way I can get away with a quick sob without my teens hearing.

Rn I just want to show dh. But DD’s mocks start tomorrow and if I go down I am definitely going to start crying.

I think I’m just emotional after a stupid virus.

So I just need to fall asleep and get on this tomorrow. I have sleeping pills so will take one now. I hate them cause they make me feel so sluggish the next day, but better than staying awake.

Hi, hope you managed to get some sleep last night and the breast team are able to see you quickly.

Thank you @PilchardsonToast . I slept but didn’t call breast team.

In the light of day, it didn’t look so bad. Just like a mole. I know I’ll have to call, and I suspect that once I do, I’ll end up getting referred to dermatology via gp. I’m sure it’s all fine to be honest so my fear now is not cancer but the dread of being back in the cycle of tests and appointments.

Shortly after my breast cancer all clear, I ended up under gynaecology oncology after a 2ww referral. All fine but so consuming. And I’m under ENT and psychology teams at local hospital at the moment. Nothing serious for either, but still more appointments.

Plus my mum has a rare dementia and I’m the one supporting her care and medical needs. My dad had just had his own dementia assessment, plus OT involvement. Again all coordinated by me.

And then plus plus - my dd has a chronic condition. Her treatment is at a hospital an hour away where she also fortnightly psychology appointments cause of its impact on her well being.

So many appointments. I just hate it. I don’t have the capacity. Gave up work six months ago.

But also I guess it’s awesome that there is so much support for all of us. It would be a lot worse for us all without the incredible medics and other health professionals.