Hidden eating disorder?

[BroccoliSpears]

I saw my very good friend yesterday for the first time in quite a while. I was shocked by how thin she was.

When I first me her about a decade ago she was very very slim, but healthy looking. Since then, now I think about it, she has just got thinner and thinner. I suppose it's because I haven't seen her for a while that I was jolted by how gaunt she is.

I do have friends with eating disorders, but it's noticable that they have a problem (not clear to anyone, just to a close friend who knows them well).

I've never had even the vaguest suspicions about this friend's relationship with food. She eats well but doesn't scoff loads, she dinks what she fancies. She has never once made me wonder whether she has issues with food, and this is a very open person who I have spent lots of time with. She does exercise a lot - lots of running and sports teams and going to the gym. But then she's an energetic, positive, healthy person who likes to stay fit.

I suppose my question is, is it possible to have some sort of eating disorder without ever ever letting anything slip? Or, is it possible to have a perfectly healthy attitude to food and get thinner and thinner while remaining healthy? Or is it possible to eat perfectly normally and get thinner and thinner through exercise?

I appreciate that I'm posting on a sensitive subject here, and it's not something I know very much at all about, so I appologise if I've said anything offensive - please put me right.

EDs can develop at any time in life, or could b another reason she wants to keep private. Would she b open 2 u saying -- "My you look thin, are u feeling ok?"

Well I'm not sure it would be very constructive to point out that she's thin. She presumably knows, and she's never broached the subject. None of my business really - almost didn't post for that reason.

Am still concerned though.

I have to say as being someone who struggles to keep weight on when I'm stressed I absolutely and totally hate it when people mention my weight. It makes me more stressed and less likely to eat. Friends have mentioned it when offering me food and it just makes my tummy clamp down.

Much better to ask general 'hows life keeping' type question - to me anyway! and keeping a general ear out to her for clues.

Hope thats helpful?

Thank you Kitten.
No, it's not something I'd mention to her, any more than I'd expect her to say "So, Broccoli, I notice you've got a spare chin these days - want to talk about it?"

Exactly!!

I hope your friend is ok.

sorry I offended you, brocoli, but all you can see and know about is that she looks quite thin -- that's the thing that's concerned you. It's the only specific thing you have to go on.
If she's a close friend, I thought a direct approach might be right. She might say "Oh I'm so stressed out I can't eat right now!" and then you would talk about the stress -- or she might brush you off, which is her perogative. She's still your friend, fat or thin, but maybe I'm wrong, size is something even close friends can't talk about?

No no! No offence at all!
It's a perfectly good and reasonable suggestion, and thank you for replying.

If it were my friend I'd mention my concerns and grin and bear any sulk that follows. Some people are naturally thin (and active) and just a few extra pounds weight loss at a stressful time can leave them looking gaunt. However, if she has always appeared to have a healthy relationship with food & exercise and the weight loss is dramatic, she may be ill. That would be my concern. So many serious (sorry to be a worrywart) illnesses demonstrate themselves in weight loss that I feel I would be neglectful as a friend if I didn't mention it. She may be waiting for someone to ask. good luck whatever you decide.