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Original poster

Boyfriends work clothes are ruining my washing machine.,

58 replies

Sickofit189 · 17/12/2023 14:35

I’ve been washing his “work clothes” in my brand new machine for a little over 2 years and since I’ve been pregnant I’ve been furious that everything I wash after I’ve washed his ends up grey and stained. Even when I clean the machine out it always leaves my clothes DISGUSTING. For reference he won’t ask his boss for work overalls and works with Bakelite & other toxic oils. I told him on Friday I’m not washing them anymore as it’s ruining my machine and my clothes and today Sunday he says “can you wash my work clothes then please” and I said no I told you to sort out going to a commercial laundrette over the weekend and you didn’t.

OP posts:
Sodndashitall · 21/12/2023 08:53

Just buy him an overall for Christmas and don't email his boss again. Omg!

Candycurrantbun · 21/12/2023 08:55

CurlewKate · 21/12/2023 08:50

@Candycurrantbun "I'd be bloody furious if my DH emailed my boss"

Not as furious as I'd be if my DH expected me to wash his work clothes-even if they didn't have potentially toxic substances on them!

There are plenty of other ways for the OP to solve this problem. She can refuse to wash his work clothes for instance. No one should be so abusive as to email their partners boss though.

BellaVita · 21/12/2023 08:56

Why are YOU washing his clothes though? Is he not capable?

Whataretheodds · 21/12/2023 08:58

You did well to assert your boundary (why did it take so long?) But emailing his boss was a step too far.

Do you live together? If not why isn't he using his own machine?

Fizzadora · 21/12/2023 09:00

Well the overalls still have to be washed so I am not sure what you have achieved here.
We used to have the same problem here with an HGV driver and a mechanic in the same house and the solution of course is a very hot wash with lots of biological washing powder, not liquid, but sadly it's not the done thing these days.

CurlewKate · 21/12/2023 09:02

He's refused to ask for an overall-which I'm pretty sure his boss is obliged to give him.

He won't do his own washing.

Well done, OP!

Kittenkitty · 21/12/2023 09:21

Yeah you massively overstepped here. You were reasonable up to emailing his boss. Humiliating him at work is not ok. If a partner of mine emailed my boss I’d be so humiliated by that. Was that your intention?

timenowplease · 21/12/2023 09:26

Definitely stop washing work clothes with toxic chemicals and dust on them. I wouldn't even let them in the house.

There was a story a while back of a woman dying of asbestosis. Her husband worked with asbestos and she would shake out his work clothes before putting them in the wash. That was before Health and Saftety.

I imagine where he works must have some rules and regs about this type of thing.

mewkins · 21/12/2023 09:50

timenowplease · 21/12/2023 09:26

Definitely stop washing work clothes with toxic chemicals and dust on them. I wouldn't even let them in the house.

There was a story a while back of a woman dying of asbestosis. Her husband worked with asbestos and she would shake out his work clothes before putting them in the wash. That was before Health and Saftety.

I imagine where he works must have some rules and regs about this type of thing.

I'd have said his boss was setting himself up for legal action somewhere down the line too. I imagine he's failed to implement a number of health and safety laws by not ensuring that his employees are wearing appropriate protective clothing. I hope he's also given the correct face mask etc

Weepingwillows12 · 21/12/2023 09:57

Do you live together? Does he have another washing machine he can use?

Emailing his boss is bad. I would be furious if someone did that to me.

CurlewKate · 21/12/2023 10:30

@Weepingwillows12 "Emailing his boss is bad. I would be furious if someone did that to me."

Well, he shouldn't be behaving like a dick, then.

MistletoeRegrets · 21/12/2023 10:43

Your OP is rather unclear, @Sickofit189.

Do you live with your boyfriend? If so, surely it’s his business to make sure there are other suitable means for him to wash his clothes. Either a second washing machine or using an outside launderette.

If you don’t live with him - then you should never, ever have anything to do with the laundering of his clothes.

Additionally I’d be concerned about possibly toxic work clothes around your child.

Seriously cannot understand why you are washing another adult’s work clothes without even the binding of marriage to justify it.

Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:16

@bellac11 ive been asking him to get work overalls for 2 years and his too afraid to ask his boss but not too afraid to ruin my washing machine that he definitely wouldn’t replace if it broke lol. I had enough and thought if I email his boss requesting some overalls then maybe something would get done & finally something is getting done.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:19

@timenowplease @mewkins exactly!
his boss kicked up a fuss but his work place don’t follow any health and safety and all sound like complete A holes. Im having a little girl in a matter of days and I don’t want her to be around toxicity like that or have it on her clothes because I know the damages chemicals like that can cause to adult humans over time let alone a fragile baby.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:19

@timenowplease @mewkins exactly!
his boss kicked up a fuss but his work place don’t follow any health and safety and all sound like complete A holes. Im having a little girl in a matter of days and I don’t want her to be around toxicity like that or have it on her clothes because I know the damages chemicals like that can cause to adult humans over time let alone a fragile baby.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:21

@Kittenkitty my intention was for him to get work overalls sorted so my washing machine doesn’t break and all my clothes don’t have toxic chemicals on them left over from his work clothes. I was sick of being guilt tripped into doing things I didn’t want to do.

OP posts:
EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 21/12/2023 11:22

inappropriateportioncontrol · 21/12/2023 08:51

Pre soak his stuff in a large bucket or container seated in the bath for a while prior to washing. This will loosen most of the dirt.

Dunk them up & down to get the worst of the soiling off. Change water as necesssry until u are satisfied it’s running clear enough to use machine.

Old fashioned method but might help keep peace between you? He must take personal responsibility for this. You are not a household appliance

absolutely this I was wondering why soaking wasn't an alternative to ruining the next persons clothes at a laundrette.

This and he needd to do to all, not you.

WhistPie · 21/12/2023 11:22

I'd be tempted to give the HSE a ring then

Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:23

@MistletoeRegrets whenever I bring up marriage he crumbles so clearly expects me to go above and beyond for him and that’s why im starting to say no f you. Im getting to a point where I want him to go back to his mothers lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:24

@EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness he should do that himself. I’m not his wife, I have my own life and my own job and I’m expecting a baby.

OP posts:
Houseplanter · 21/12/2023 11:25

If your washing machine is that dirty after you take clothes out you either need to use a different programme or get a better machine. The work clothes can't be clean either.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 21/12/2023 11:29

Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:24

@EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness he should do that himself. I’m not his wife, I have my own life and my own job and I’m expecting a baby.

Not sure if you're agreeing with me as I said the same though my words are a little mixed. It's not about whether your his wife or not, they're his clothes and his responsibility. I would say the same if you were married. You haven't said but I'm guessing the work overalls stay at work hence why that would help your protect your washing machine and baby. I wouldn't want toxic chemicals in my house in normal circumstances even more pregnant and then with a baby. Bos sounds like an arsehole. Proper OH&S protects him not just his employees. It's money well spent.

Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:39

@EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness

Bakelite is a manufactured, synthetic plastic containing high amounts of toxic polymers like formaldehyde and asbestos among others. Formaldehyde can cause irritation of the nose, eyes, throat and skin. High levels of exposure to formaldehyde may even cause some types of cancers.

You’re right. Regardless of marriage he should be doing it himself. Not using my machine to wash the clothes and not bringing it in the house.

OP posts:
brickastley · 21/12/2023 11:42

You have said several times 'my washing machine' - do you not live together?

Original poster
Sickofit189 · 21/12/2023 11:53

@brickastley i bought the machine myself. Yes we do live together and I’m the only one that uses it.

OP posts: