Eye test help

[Spencer0220]

I need to go to the optician. I'm really scared and looking for some reassurance. PLEASE don't tell me I'm being ridiculous. This is a genuine fear. I know it's silly.

TW: rape.

When I was 15 I started going to the family optician instead of the hospital. My mum, before I went in told me I wasn't allowed to go in alone in case the man raped me as they do that when the lights are off.

Obviously I now know this isn't true, but it's absolutely imprinted on my brain and I have a literal fear of going.

My DH and I moved in 2020. He has a brilliant optician's services and I think I'm ready to go.

But I can't stand the idea of them turning the lights off and coming towards me. I'm in a wheelchair and can't use the fancy equipment. So it's done the old way.

Id like DH to be in the room with me, but I'm really scared when I get there that they will make him wait outside.

I'm going to look like an idiot phoning up and asking for my husband to come with me. 🙄 Female opticians aren't available there.

I also have a doctor phobia, but that is getting better since my husband has been involved and really helped advocate for me.

Thank you. I know I sound crazy.

You don’t sound crazy. You sound traumatised. I can’t believe your mother said that.

they will not tell you your husband cannot be there. If they do, leave. But I promise they won’t. They want you to be comfortable too. Good luck OP

Thank you so much.

Poor you. Yes, your husband can absolutely go in with you.
Just mention it when you book the appointment. I reckon that about 25% of adults have someone come into the test with them.
Something like "I'd like my husband to go in with me as well, just checking there is space"

I would also mention that you're in a wheelchair, I couple of the places I work in, struggle to accommodate wheelchair users in some of their testing rooms unless they can transfer, as there is insufficient room to either side of the main chair, which then affects the viewing distance to the test chart.
All practices have to have a suitable space under their NHS contract, but if you're a bit nervous anyway, it makes sense for it to be as smooth as possible when you arrive.

It's interesting too, safeguarding has only really become a big consideration in the last few years. Having a parent or guardian in the room with under 16's is now normal and if we can't for any reason, I keep the door open.

Thank you so much.

Yes, I was going to mention wheelchair. My husband is sure there is room as he has looked himself when he went for a test. But I'll check.

Apparently the optician was very nice when my husband went in and reassured him they could accommodate me.

Wow. What a strange thing to say to a child.
Yes OP your husband can go in with you.
Hope it goes well ❤️

Of course your husband can go in with you, or a friend.
Have you ever confronted your mother about why she said such a stupid thing to you? It’s obviously affected you quite deeply, which is understandable, and she should take responsibility for that.

Thank you both.

My mum said she said that because she believed it to be true. Also, it was in my best interests to have her there.

Makes no sense to me

How traumatic for you

No service should object to you having a chaperone , I'd say " I hope it's not an issue for you but I will need my husband to remain in the room with me at all times , very much appreciated " with a nice big smile

Hope all goes well 💐

Thank you.