Too Scared to have a Full Medical Screen

[Claricethecat45]

Of course I know I'm being ridiculous, but I have severe Health Anxiety and have a generally avoidant attitude to any possible health 'threat'.

Luckily, aside from an under active Thyroid for which I am using daily meds with regular blood tests, I have been lucky and not been seriously unwell.

I did have a pelvic ultrasound last year which resulted in a small op and biopsy for uterine cancer, which was all OK. I had this after a request for HRT and it was required along with a Mamogramme which was also fine.

I am living abroad at the moment and they are very thorough here,( basically over testing for everything ) mainly due to guaranteed payment via Ex Pat Health Insurance.

So now, we are into our final year living here before returning to UK. I will have access to health insurance for this time, but realise once back to UK I will not be able to get the same attention, and being a self confessed worrier, I appreciate the speed at which I can get to see a Dr here and the speed of follow up treatment.

My DH attended last year for a Full medical. No stone left unturned, Blood tests, X rays, CT scans and ended up needing a Colonoscopy which revealed a benign polyp. All good. But he has not a shred of anxiety over his health despite having a few risk factors, and I was secretly impressed that he underwent such scrutiny.

So here I am, aged 60, an Ex Smoker with a dodgy thyroid....and I am too terrified to have the same, before we have to go back to UK. I know its stupid.

I have a terror of Lung Cancer; I read and read and read about how silently it can develop. Same with Pancreatic Cancer. And, I have convinced myself that I definitely have one or both, lurking, waiting to be diagnosed. I don't have symptoms, but then apparently, few people do; Obviously I have history of smoking, and I cant change that. I am otherwise fairly fit, walk a lot, do weights and have a good BMI. There is no family history of cancer aside from one aunt who was 80 at diagnosis. I do drink alcohol 2-3 times a week but literally 3 glasses of wine and an occasional Gin and Tonic.

I cannot shake the fear; I cant attend a full screening because of this. I cant even have the Cancer Markers done when I have the occasional Full Blood Test and always say I don't want them ( here, you pay extra for them, so its easy to side step) BUT I know how ridiculous this is, and that I am missing the opportunity to have a good thorough check up due to my fear.

I guess what underpins this is, that if Lung/Pancreatic cancer was found, then NO amount of early intervention would help, and all it would do, would be to give me extra long notice that I am going to die.

So, I suppose I have adopted the mind set of ' if there is nothing that can be done, why stress yourself by finding out early'?

Please can I have some opinions, experiences, and any other advice as to what you would do, or, if like me, you too are 'scare phobic'

I just need a perspective from someone, anyone, who isn't a scaredy pants like me. Someone who isn't afraid to take that step and go for it. If I don't have a health check, the underlying thought of impending terminal illness is always just a thought away....Anxiety is off the scale to the point that if I glimpse sight of a new health scare or read something about symptoms associated with scarey illnesses, I just run past with my eyes closed. I know it makes no sense and if anyone told me that they were like this, I would say FGS, take responsibility. I don't want to spend the rest of my years hovering on the edge of the grave, before I need to, but my fear is beyond me.

Honestly, if you plan to return to UK you will get much quicker access to treatment if you can avoid any initial NHS waiting lists for tests, if there are any issues. Nothing you mention suggests there are.

I also have health anxiety and am a doctor avoider, as opposed to someone who goes to the Dr regularly seeking reassurance.

Rational me is thinking you would be mad to miss this opportunity for a final check before coming back.

You are also misinformed about lung cancer.

My DM had lung cancer twice (not a secondary cancer second time) and both times it was caught early and treated. First time she had surgery to remove it with no follow up treatment. The second she received targeted radiotherapy and lived for another 10 years afterwards without needing any follow up treatment. She died from an unrelated illness. She was also terrified of lung cancer as she smoked for years and was convinced it would kill her.

Is it possible to get help with your anxiety on your health insurance? Seems like that is the most pressing health need you have at the moment, and then perhaps in time you'll feel ready for the full screen?

OP - you don't need me to tell you that your priority should be getting help overcoming your health anxiety.

Look at it this way. You've made it to 60 (like me!) so we're through Sniper Alley and have a good chance of living to 80+

However, we've got a 50% chance of getting one or more cancers en route. Most will be picked up and dealt with by dear old NHS quite straightforwardly.

So once you're registered with a GP, you'll be put onto the various screening programmes which intend to pick up cancers and other diseases whilst they're still treatable/curable.

Pancreatic cancer, like ovarian cancer, is very rare. So you could spend what's left of your life dreading something that's never going to happen - what a waste!

I am aware that adopting this attitude is easier said than done, OP, but we need to harness that courage which is inside us all.

What treatment are you having for the health anxiety?

Thanks for reply; I do know I have 'health anxiety' obviously, and so far a couple of posters have advised me to get help for that before anything else. I acknowledge that but I do feel my 'triggers' are 'reasonable' in that what worries me is something for which there is actually a tangible 'risk' ( eg ex smoker worrying about Lung Cancer ) I don't think or feel that is 'irrational'.

And it is this fear that is impacting me. I am not in any other way an anxious person, although I would say I am 'Avoidant'. So classical health anxiety counselling and support is not something I think or feel would help me. I know what I need to do, and that is have the full screen and deal with 'it' whatever the result. I just need to get myself to that point, which is why I have posted in the hope I might have a light bulb moment, reading other peoples experiences.

Avoidance generally is a coping strategy that starts in childhood so nothing we can say on here is going to help you.although I’m going to contradict myself straight away and recommend mindfulness. I’m having to do it and basically it’s learning to sit with your fears and become less reactive to those triggers. At the end of the day if you want to change ,see a psychotherapist!

Health anxiety means you’re not able to judge what is an actual risk and what’s simply an unfounded fear. You do need treatment.

You need to decide if the anxiety is worse thinking you have these cancers (you mention lung etc) or definitively finding out one way or another.

There are things that can be done if in the worst case they found something.

I don't have health anxiety - so I can sit here and say you'd be bloody insane not to get a full check while you can. They could find something else treatable and you could get sorted before you come home.

To me the absolute worse case for anxiety would be to come back to the UK then start getting worrying symptoms and be unable to get a scan for a year. Surely that risk is much worse?

Good luck either way.

Op, part of the reason for the potentially low longer term survival rates in pancreatic cancers is the fact it’s picked up late. Same with lung cancer. The earlier they are picked up the significantly better the 5 and 10 year survival rate. Are you saying you would rather wait until you are guaranteed to have a poor outcome?

You’re highly unlikely to have either of these conditions by the way. And a full health MOT would help you relieve your anxiety.

As others say, you really do need to get your health anxiety addressed, because it’s distorting your thinking significantly.

Are you symptomatic of lung cancer? Persistent cough? Fatigue? Breathlessness? I would go for the test op, you'll be so reassured when you get all clear.