Scared of my health

[AlltheJays23]

For about 3 months I’ve had a really sore right knee cap and ankle. I can bear weight and walk on it. If I’ve been sat for a while and I bend my leg my knee absolutely kills me and I struggle to get up and walk. It gets better after I’ve walked a few steps. When I get up in the morning mr ankle and my knee is so stiff to the point I have to hobble down the stairs. My doctor is saying it’s nothing but it HURTS. I have various other symptoms not related like dizziness, back pain, other body aches. Fatigue Etc. My doctor says it’s fibromyalgia but I’m not convinced. I’m awaiting test results for Rheumatoid Arthritis, and I’m being investigated for Addisons although I don’t believe it’s likely I have these things. I’ve convinced myself it’s something to do with my heart or circulatory system. Although I’ve had EKG and heart monitor for 24 hrs and my doctor says my heart is fine but I do have high cholesterol- 5.9-. Anyways as I was googling it came up with myeloma. Now I’m convinced and worried sick i have bone cancer and that’s why I’ve had this back pain and knee pain. I’ve had the back pain about a year and started after I had my son. I’ve convinced myself I have a terminal illness and it’s going undetected. I do have quite bad health anxiety but in my heart I know that these things I’m not making up. My doctor is sick of seeing me and doesn’t take me seriously because I spend so much time there. I also had an abnormal smear and I’ve been referred to colposcopy next week. I’m my head my brain is telling me something is very wrong with my body and I’m terrified I’m Ill and going to die.

OP your post really resonates with me. I also suffer with health anxiety and every little thing I have crop up I am convinced it’s linked to me having cancer and I get myself in such a state. I am currently awaiting MRI results for a joint issue and I keep thinking the doctor is going to tell me it’s cancer.

im sorry I have no advice as I am still struggling with the HA but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

Thank you. I really appreciate the support. I've had another horrid day with worrying I have cancer or heart problems. I'm done in xx

Hey fellow HA sufferer here. There's someone I like to watch who has hoards of videos primarily on health anxiety called "The Anxiety Guy" on YouTube, it's worth taking a look. But I must say, all of the symptoms you've listed above OP I've had and they are all anxiety symptoms. I think once we get the all clear from the GP, blood tests or whatever we need to try treat the anxiety. (Easier said than done) I always try challenge my symptom especially if it's repetitive. Example dizziness, I get frequently. When I happens I try go "okay well I've felt this before, nothing bad happened, therefore it's my body trying to protect me because I'm perceiving a danger, I am safe" or along the lines. I find that after a while it won't stuck around, might try move onto something else. Earlier I had this horrible sensation in my head, my brain tried going there with a tumor and I actually couldn't be bothered to feed it, i felt that rush of adrenaline and just thought younknow what it's actually okay, whatever it is will pass. Its trying to catch your thoughts before they spiral, stay away from Google I also find anxiety forums sometimes aren't helpful when people compare symptoms personally as I just use it to reassurance seek. Sometimes if I get palpitations ill run to prove I haven't got a heart condition. I almost give myself exposure therapy haha! Try look at that guy he has really brilliant infromation and tactics to use. All the best x

I think it sounds like you could have OestoAthritis like I have got,

but it's good that your doctors checking to see if you might have Rumertoid athritis too,

Hopefully not.

Hi OP, I agree with the above posters. I suffer massively with health anxiety that started after I had my first dd who is now 4. I had pain in a raised lymph node I have, and then found a lump in my breast and spent her first Christmas in tears waiting for a referral, thankfully no issues with my lymph node and other turned out to be only a fatty lump. Since then I've had counselling which did help, and I've also been on sertraline which was great, however I came off it in July because I felt better, then 4 weeks ago I had heart flutters for a few seconds and since then I'm worried of dropping down with a heart attack. My GP put me back on sertraline last Friday.

I try to rationalise; when I have a bad flare up and I'm laid in bed with it I typically feel really hot, lightheaded, can feel my heartbeat in my ears, sweaty, chest pains, back pain, head pain, shortness of breath.. the list goes on. I rationalise by knowing that these are the signs of anxiety and I'm making myself worse by worrying, so try to distract myself (at the minute I have a word search app I use). Right now as I type this I'm trying not to let my mind wander but I do understand that it's so hard, so you have my total sympathy OP.

I had horrid back pain 2 years ago that came out of nowhere and lasted around 5 months, physio was amazing and sorted it and an MRI found I had two protruding disks, likely brought on by lifting both DDs out of the bath, in and out of the car etc.

If you feel your GP isn't listening, see if there is another you can see. You matter and you deserve to feel 'well' and like 'you' again

Love the rational in @CourtneyB123 post!

Also agree, please stay away from Google, it magnifies everything and isn't helpful at all

Thank you it's taken years of work to get to where I am and I'm still not fully recovered, the brain will get bored OP. Sometimes if I catch myself starting to panic about something I say it in a funny voice, like micky mouse and I can't actually take it seriously takes the nip out of the thought and they become less frequent after putting it into practice. Good advice on here x

If you had bone cancer, markers would have shown up in your blood tests.

And I know how much anxiety sucks, so trying to rationalise.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I really sppr cajte everyone's advice. I do try to rationalize but it's like this little voice in the back f my head that says but "what if" it's the tight that I might suddenly die and what will happen to my son and I can't comprehend the thought of not being here one day. Today I've had really bad chest pains although I'm not sure of it's chest pain or muscular cos it's kind of near my collarbone just below it. I just find it hard to believe that just anxiety can cause so many physical symptoms and cause me to be in so much pain all the time.

I think the chest pains you get with it are so awful - when you read up on the physical symptoms of anxiety it's so surreal that they are everything that could be something else and everything you experience all at once. Have you ever tried medication op? It may be an option

OP I'm going to try list the symptoms I've had over the years which are anxiety, not to worry you but just to show what an array of things can happen when you've been in overdrive for so long. Chronic chest pains, (costochondritis), long term vertigo, dizziness, dissociation, brain fog, weeks upon weeks of tension headaches, pain in my joints, my neck, swollen lymph nodes in neck, numbness face, hands feet, floaters, brain zaps, GERD, the list can go on. In regards to the pain under your collarbone, sometimes you can tell if it's muscular if you gently press along the pain if it's tender its muscular. Please try seek some help because it's debilitating, like above poster said would you consider medication then therapy? X

@merryandbrightdelight I've tried many medications over the years. I can't bring myself to take any medicine. My head convinces me they will make me sick or cause me to die suddenly so I panic just taking them. I went to my GP and had a meltdown last week and they prescribed citalopram and diazepam I'm assuming then diazepam to calme down. I've had numerous therapies too but nothing has helped.

@AlltheJays23 I understand that - I had the same feeling with a course of antibiotics I was on recently. Have you tried more holistic therapies?

I woke this morning with an on and off pain left side around my chest lymph nodes, so automatically thought it was an impending heart attack. That was at 6am and now I am in work, have driven, carried my toddler up and down the stairs, rushed about like a lunatic. I have a horrid cough I can't shake off too. When I touch the area it feels sore, and it also feels sore intermittently. I'm rationalising this that if it was an impending heart attack, I wouldn't still be stood here 4 hours later, and I would have more pain than I've had. I also did previous posters trick of jumping up and down to check my gear still worked! 😂 (running wasn't an option and never will be haha)

Health anxiety is literally so debilitating.

I literally have all these symptoms! All the time!

Yes you doing exactly like me. I have all the same feelings as you. I also think I'm having.impending heart attacks every day and everyday I'm still standing but my brain is literally like what if today is the day!