Is DH having a breakdown? Help please.

[shortcake]

My DH has just recently started experiencing times of really high anxiety. He has a very stressful job which has been extra stressful recently and he finds it difficult to offload the pressure to anyone else. He told me on Thursday that he feels obsessively worried about something - which is completely illogical and irrational. He knows it is irrational but finds himself thinking about it all the time and worrying about the decision he made.

He has, with encouragement from me rung a counsellor but he feels that taking time off right now to see the counsellor would put him under even more pressure! Any advice?

no, doesn't sound like a breakdown - but does sound like he desperately need some time out - not least to get some perspective, and to realise that work puts bread on the table and funds his family life, but that the relationship isn't more profound than that. has he got any holiday owing -ideally at least a fortnight? presuming he wouldn't be amenable to being signed off with stress. is there anything he can do to address his stressful working conditions?

Sounds like he can't see the wood for the trees. It seems to me that he really needs to see that counsellor who may be able to help him put things in perspective, or at come to terms/feel better about things.
Sorry if that sounds really crass and patronising.
Hope he gets to the counsellor - maybe find one who'll see him in the evenings, or weekends?

Thank you for your posts - he is in a "caring " proffession which provides him with very little support. He has been dealing with some really difficult situations recently and I think it has all got too much for him. I know that his health is important but I do understand that he feels people are relying on him.

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Same as the others have said. he does need some time out and help. My DH had breakdown earlier this year, which having come through the other side of you can see that about this time last year he had similar irrational anxieties. He didn't get help, didn't talk to me, or anyone, until it all got far too much. It was a build up of self inflicted pressure - providing for family, not failing, family expectations etc. If I/he/we had noticed earlier what was happening we could have avoided what was a very painful time. He is now on the up, with a lot of help and support, both professional and friends. Seeing that counsellor will save him a lot of time in the long run. Do encourage him to take the time out for himself, if only for your sake if he won't do it for him. Good luck!

Hi Shortcake -your dh and mine sound identical
It took me about a month to persaude him to see the doc, ask for anti depressants and get signed off sick for a bit. He really didnt want to go cos he felt guilty about leaving his colleagues and clients in the lurch (does that phrase make sense? not sure ) Anyway the bullying lying stealing (of objects and paperwork) finally got beyond the beyond point ifywim. He has been off work for 5 weeks now. with severe anxiety depression - there is a test the docs can do -the HAD test - dh gets 21 out of 21 for anxiety and 16 out of 21 for depression - sounds like your dh is similar

IMHO He NEEDS to realise that for his own sake (and you and the kids) he needs to take time out to calm down - dh was having panic attacks on the way to work etc - its not healthy and needs to be sorted

HTH {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}