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Original poster

I have the winter stomach virus. I also have emtophobia. I need to know how a "normal" person would act right now.

24 replies

artichokes · 09/03/2008 11:33

I have posted before about my resolve not to let my emetophobia impact on DD. Having her is the biggest push I could ever get to sort my phobia out. The frist time she was sick I ran away but the second time I stayed and helped her and was very proud of myself. My biggest fear is that I will get sick, but both times DD was ill I avoided it.

Now I have the bug. It is horrible but I am coping. I want to act like a normal mother would right now. So tell me:
(a) If you have a stomach bug do you still hug and kiss your LOs, or avoid them for risk of contagion?
(b) If you have a bug that you know to be contagious do your make your LOs sleep on towels on the off chance they will get ill too?
(c) If you are ill do you make your DH sleep in another room because you assume he will get ill too?

Based on your advice I hope I can treat this bug as normally as possible .

OP posts:
Lulumama · 09/03/2008 11:35

ok, as a non emetophobe, i would line the DCs beds with towels IF they said they felt ropey

i would cuddle them

I would use a seperate hand towel for myself, and be rigourous about handwashing etc.more so than usual

i would ask DH if he wanted to sleep in the spare room, but also presume that he would have ben exposed before , so might not be any point

RubySlippers · 09/03/2008 11:36

if any of us are ever ill, i get SUPER keen on hand washing and throwing snotty tissues away ASAP

sounds like you are doing really well - emetophobia is a toughie ...

pruners · 09/03/2008 11:37

Message withdrawn

NorthernLurker · 09/03/2008 11:40

Like Lulu I would 'ill-proof' the bed if they said they felt ill or indeed looked a bit dodgy - that includes a relocation of all soft toys to a 'safe' zone. I would still cuddle etc - and wash my hands well. We don't have a spare room - if we had i would ask dh what he wanted to do - but leave it up to him.

Good Luck - I think you are being really brave about this and it is so commendable to be trying not to let your phobia impact on your dd. What a lucky little girl she is

Original poster
artichokes · 09/03/2008 11:51

Thanks. My normal reaction to being ill is too lock myself in our room (which has an ensuite) and refuse to let anyone in until I know it is all over. I can't do that this time becuase it would really distress DD if I were to disappear like that. DH is being brilliant (thank god it is the weekend). I am trying so hard to relax and be normal and now smother us all in anti-bac.

I have to assume DH and DD will get this now. Am very happy to hear Pruner's experience that bugs rarely spread throughout the family, but I can't clasp at straws...

OP posts:
castille · 09/03/2008 11:55

(a) I tend to keep away from the children if possible - I stay upstairs in my bed with someone else looking after them - for their sake as well as mine.

b) I'd only make them sleep on towels etc if they actually said they felt unwell. If you do it even if they feel fine they'd get the message that they are going to get ill, which isn't good.

c) I'd let DH decide where he sleeps. He has an iron constitution. Unless I want/need the bed to myself!

But I agree with others that insisting on very frequent and thorough hand washing by everyone and cleaning/disinfecting of light switchs, door handles, loos etc. I think this is the most effective way of preventing bugs spreading.

Good luck.

NorthernLurker · 09/03/2008 11:59

artichokes - tbh we generally manage to keep our bugs to ourselves as well - except the baby always gives me her colds!

bozza · 09/03/2008 12:05

I find that for us colds are the most likely thing to spread around. I would still cuddle my children. I have never towelled their beds, even when they have been sick in bed already that night. Just has not occurred to me. As you can gather from that they tend not to be sick that often. DH would only sleep in another room if my illness was disturbing him - so if I was making frequent trips to the bathroom, or had a bad cough or whatever. Although quite often when I was going through the coughing stage I would take myself off to sleep on the settee - we don't have a spare bed.

HTH. And good questions.

bozza · 09/03/2008 12:05

I find that for us colds are the most likely thing to spread around. I would still cuddle my children. I have never towelled their beds, even when they have been sick in bed already that night. Just has not occurred to me. As you can gather from that they tend not to be sick that often. DH would only sleep in another room if my illness was disturbing him - so if I was making frequent trips to the bathroom, or had a bad cough or whatever. Although quite often when I was going through the coughing stage I would take myself off to sleep on the settee - we don't have a spare bed.

HTH. And good questions.

SpacePuppy · 09/03/2008 13:02

Anti bac is no use, its a virus and its airborne which means it is spread by saliva droplets etc. It only depends on you immunity and whether you have had the same virus before. It's good to be sick (not nice I know) but it means you'll build immunity for next time. I cuddle ds, washed hands etc. didn't get the bug, but unfortunately dh caught the sick bit so he got it, but was only 24hrs for him as oppose to 3 days for ds.

good Luck

SoupDragon · 09/03/2008 13:32

How old is your DD? When children are old enough to know they're going to be ill, I find a child's toy bucket lined with a nappy sack ideal as it is all contained and easy to dispose of.

Tessiebear · 09/03/2008 13:43

We have an old bucket that we lovingly refer to as "the magic sick bowl" and any child who hasnt yet had the bug or is feeling sick takes it to bed with them that night. I usually put it on a chair by the bed so it is really easy to grab

blueshoes · 09/03/2008 13:49

I would hug and LOs, don't use towels (maybe might now that you have mentioned it). But I co-sleep, so normally just be able to catch anything before it actually happens. Don't act any differently with dh.

Actually my ds just had a bout. He hasn't seemed to have infected any of us, though dh and I were in very close contact. Also, since I am bf-ing ds, I don't mind being mildly infected because my immunity is superior and I can easily manufacture the requisite immunoglobins for ds.

Original poster
artichokes · 09/03/2008 15:44

DD is 18 months so not quite old enough for a magic sick bucket. Sounds a good plan for the future though.

DH says he is feeling lousy - but cold-like rather than stomach-bug-like. I suspect it might go to his stomach. I really need to get better before he comes down with it else we will really struggle to look after DD.

OP posts:
Original poster
artichokes · 09/03/2008 17:59

Another question for normaltons:

How long after you were last sick would you try eating? My old rule of thumb was 48 clear hours then toast and marmite. DH is urging me to move quicker as I will be looking after DD alone tomorrow and can't be too weak. How long would you wait?

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 09/03/2008 18:02

bugs always spread through us I'm afraid but dh never gets them (and I always do) and because of that, he always stays in bed.

Eat when you feel hungry but stick to plain food like toast, bananas, apples....we were all sick in the night and were all up the next day eating breakfast because we were hungry (but small amounts)

blueshoes · 09/03/2008 18:06

artichokes, I follow my body on that one. If I feel ok, I will start with any food I feel I can stomach as soon as. A little at a time.

FrannyandZooey · 09/03/2008 18:22

I wouldn't hug ds no, but he is nearly 5 and understands that I could pass on germs
I don't know what I would do with a younger child
I would not kiss and hug dp but would sleep in same room

when you feel hungry then it's fine to eat. If you still feel ropey then don't.
bananas, rice, apples, toast are foods ok to eat after stomach troubles - don't eat dairy

Habbibu · 09/03/2008 18:49

Would hug dd, would wash hands thoroughly and frequently with liquid soap and hot water. Would sleep with DH - no kissing. Agree with others about when and what to eat.

Original poster
artichokes · 09/03/2008 19:06

God this bug is unpleasant. As hard as I am trying to get over this phobia, there is a little part of me that still thinks it is damn well justified.

Fear of frogs = mad; fear of being sick = totally rational Darwinian response IMO.

OP posts:
corblimeymadam · 09/03/2008 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FrannyandZooey · 09/03/2008 19:46

sorry for you artichokes
I hope you are over it soon

if any consolation I had it and neither dp nor ds got it
I kept my distance once I started being ill, but I am sure you are contagious beforehand as well and there was plenty of contact immediately before

pruners · 09/03/2008 19:53

Message withdrawn

Original poster
artichokes · 10/03/2008 11:43

Dear God I am still ill. Not being sick but can't eat and feel like poo. Also have a fever. How long does this bug last in adults?

On a bright note I have acted more nromally than with any other bug. And despite ditching many of my obsessive precautions it seems that so far DD and DH are ok (cross fingers, knock on wood, white rabbit etc etc etc ).

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