The Great Recovery! After cancer what next?

[TopOfTheCliff]

This thread was suggested on the general Cancer Thread
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4895824-cancer-support-thread-90-still-the-best-threads-no-one-wants-to-be-on?page=15&reply=129923637 as a place to come when you are recovering.

You may feel your treatment is over and you are cured or at least NED, or it may just be a lull between storms, but you want to step away from the daily grind of chemo and radiotherapy and look to the future.
Most of us come out the far side of a cancer diagnosis battered and unfit and probably overweight from the steroids and the comfort eating. Where do you start? How long will it take ? Should you diet to lose weight or try to exercise more? Then there is the huge mental hurdle of putting Cancer behind you and not worrying about recurrence with every twinge.
I am a veteran of the Cancer Thread having had breast cancer twice in two years and I managed the recovery after cancer no 1. Now I have to do it all again but in good company I hope.

@dotty2 that is a terrible knock, I do hope it turns out to be positive news for your dad.

I don't think anyone can tell someone not to worry whether it's non existent or real things causing the anxiety. I would recommend looking at some breathing techniques though if you get a chance, my husband has had great success with sleep and anxieties from practising some guided breathing and is going on a workshop soon. My yoga teacher recommends the wimhoff method.

Oh @dotty2 it’s hard to deal with things outside your control. Look after yourself and your recovery so you can support your DF. I have three 90 year olds in my life so am always expecting disaster to strike. Sending sympathy.

@myrosehasleftme those plans sound fab. I can’t look ahead at the moment though. I’m envious!

@Icantfindanewname that’s great news! My op is the 26th so we can be post op together and moan about constipation and wounds and bore everybody else rigid 😂

I think I have reached a tipping point this week. I’m feeling fit and happy and my strength is coming back enough that I can take part in the things I love. I’ve been out with my cycle club, admittedly on the ebike, and I’ve been sailing too. It has been a lovely reminder of the reason I am pushing to get the new hip so I can carry on getting fitter and stronger. I’m in a moderate amount of pain but still sleeping okay with painkillers and sometimes wonder if I should be going ahead with the op. If I live ten years or more it will be worth it.

Oh @dotty2 sorry to hear about your dad. It's such a stressful time waiting for results as we all know. Keeping fingers crossed for him.

@Octopus45 happy belated birthday!

Hoping all upcoming ops, scans and the plethora of other medical gubbins we face all go smoothly and efficiently.

I am officially off blood thinning injections, hurrah! But they're keeping me on oral anticoagulants in case the cancer comes back, which is reasonable but was very depressing to hear. Still, no more bruises tummy for a bit!

I appear to have taken up padel tennis, mostly because it's a doubles game and I keep getting roped in. Hopefully will be all good for fitness levels although I'm very much the 'extra one' rather than much use!

Hope rest of the radiotherapy goes OK Octopus

That's great Ican't about 2nd surgery and yes its a lovely thread.

Great holiday plans Rose

Glad you got to go sailing Top

Sorry to hear about your Dad Dotty

Enjoy padel tennis Clash

Have put blinds up in the kitchen. Went for a lovely coffee with DH and then swimming, did 100 lengths, steam room and jacuzzi, quick tidy up here pre one off cleaners tomorrow morning and lovely rose bath. Floof though is addicted to rose bath and comes on my bed sits on my pillow and nibbles my hair when I've used it purring away his two big fluffy white paws on my head. We discovered DD was actually in around top 2% on entrance test for her course so very pleased with that. I hadn't realised before it was used for multiple courses. Got my lovely fleece duvet on, very snuggly. DS is a bit better than before.

Hello everyone, I wondered if anyone knew what iron supplements to take after treatment? My periods are back as I had to stop herception due to low ejection fraction. Now I have headaches and palpitations and i feel tired. And I think its low iron as the periods are quite heavy. Thankfully my CT scan was very good so my heart is okay. I just feel rubbish. I may visit the clinic later today for a blood test. Has anyone got ideas for iron supplements I can take with tamoxifen?

I have a lot of travel booked this year so I am hoping for good health to be able to do this.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. I am trying to put the dread out of my mind for now, at least. Nice day today taking DD1 back to uni. I’m skulking in her room dusting as best I can with a tissue (!) and can hear lots of happy chat from the corridor while she catches up with friends 😀

@Makemineadecafplease I would suggest you ask the pharmacist for an iron supplement. You need to take them with orange juice or similar vitamin C rich food and not with milk or they won’t absorb. I can’t see why they would interfere with tamoxifen but the pharmacist will know. If they contain a decent amount of iron you will get black poo but that’s okay. Ferrous fumerate or ferrous sulphate are the cheap ones but there are many more branded ones like Feroglobin.
All good here. Met DD2 and her in laws for early coffee at the Parkrun and had a cuddle with her 4 week old baby niece. Then picked up DH’s DM and took her for another coffee. Went to the allotment and planted broad beans, weeded rhubarb patch and manured it and hacked back a giant sage bush. Now resting before going out to supper with an old friend who has moved nearby (and has a huge mansion I am dying to snoop round). It feels like time is running out to get all the jobs done before my op, but I will do as much as I can. I always struggle to balance exercise classes with doing the jobs I am trying to get fit enough to do.

Make I am on Tamoxifen and when I asked the breast care nurses they said I could take any vitamins I like with it, don't think there are any restrictions. I take a Wellwoman 50 vitamin but only about once a week or if feeling weak. In the past I've also used the liquid Feroglobin which tests a bit yuck but is easier on the stomach but the Wellwoman ones are OK with me too.

Hope you have a lovely dinner Top

Just had the one-off cleaners here for first time since November and its lovely. DS did shut himself in downstairs bathroom and he always makes it look like a toddler has had an unsupervised party with unlimited chocolate so that will still be to do but a great help. Having the house decluttered now makes it so much easier too.

Thanks Top and Silkie, I will definitely look into getting supplements.

I was at A&E between 9.45am to 7pm today, it was so tiring. My bloods came back fine, lungs okay, had a chest xray too and all clear. Consultant advised I may have strained my chest muscle, he told me to take it easy for a couple of days, no heavy lifting or pushing and take Paracetamol. So I have to rest up, I am still recovering from a cold at Christmas so could be that as well.

I hope you have good news about your dad Dotty.

And fingers crossed for your surgery, icantfindanewname. Hope all goes well, just remember to do your arm exercises and take loads of walks. That's what helped me.

Going well here. Went into the city to see an art exhibition at Lume of indigenous art and then watched Moulin Rouge in the evening, lovely day out with parents. (Husband was at work and didn’t want to see Moulin Rouge again.) They are doing the best to look after me by walking the dog and making tea. It’s just the small things, having someone who cares if you are crying because you’ve stubbed your toe and are exhausted.
Moulin Rouge is a must see by the way - each time I see it, it gets better!

@TopOfTheCliff sounds like your allotment is looking good. Best wishes for your op.

@Makemineadecafplease iron tablets made a lot of difference to me. Hope it helps!

@Silkiebunny having cleaners sounds wonderful. The tide of clutter continues here. I’ve just been shoving husbands stuff in drawers.

I’ve written us a plan for this year, and I hope we can achieve some of it, all being well! Finances have taken a beating. But we are ok. I’ve just passed two more assessments in the qualification I’m doing. Husband wants to move companies, and that may open up the possibility of a house move. See how we go!

I hope everyone is doing ok. I’m sorry to hear about your dad @dotty2.

You do not want to be a woman in my family right now. First my mum was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in Dec 22, then me with bowel cancer in Feb 23, now my SIL has breast cancer in Jan 24. Poor woman she only married into the family and doesn’t have our dodgy genes but still got the bad luck. It’s early days and I don’t know the grade and tripe of cancer. I hated how the nosy types wanted all my medical info so I certainly won’t be pressing for details. Just trying to offer support where I can.

My stupid elbow is still giving me grief so I’m doing all my weights one handed. Might have to see a physio as it’s been three weeks since I injured it and rest alone doesn’t seem to be helping. Also hard to rest an elbow!

@FairyWren7 we have done similar with a plan for the year. I feel very blessed that I am feeling comfortable with making plans and I think I've sort of made peace that some of them may need to be tweaked, changed or scrapped all together. It's taken a good while before I could even contemplate making plans and would get upset if my partner tried to jolly me into making some...

@TopOfTheCliff I have a fantasy about allotment owning, growing my own fruit and veg etc but I worry that I wouldn't find the time to fit it in. How much time do you need to invest in it?

I can't scroll back to name check on the app, but I'm glad you were seen by A&E and had the reassurance that it is likely just a pulled muscle but it sounds bloody painful!

We (just!) won our padel tennis match and I was very pleased as it was my first ever competitive match and I've only really had gentle knockarounds before. I think it must be the first time I've done a good ninety minutes worth of explosive cardio for the best part of a year. I'm going to get more involved in it I think - it's good fun and good exercise and feels like less of a chore than what I've been doing at the gym - whilst also giving me a more positive reason to keep my fitness and strength up rather than 'ive got to do this to try and help keep the cancer at bay'.

I'm feeling it today though! I don't think I've used some of those muscles for a long time. And I had much less pain and swelling in my clotty leg than I had been getting; I feel like as well as not having to inject, the new anticoagulants are working better.

So all positive here. Hope everything is going as well as it can be for everyone else.

@Remaker sorry you have another diagnosis in your life. It sounds very tough for your family as a whole at the minute.

@dotty2 sorry to hear about your Dad, waiting for test results is awful. I can also sympathise with the distance situation. Take care.

Had a lovely dinner at my Sister's SIL's house last night. They bought me a birthday cake, which I 've just eaten a massive piece of. On the plus side steps have been much better the past couple of days. One radiotherapy session to go.

Hello everyone

I haven't written for ages, but have often read everyone's posts and thought about all of you a lot xxx

Sorry to read about your Dad, Dotty. I really hope things go as well as they possibly can given the situation.

The same best wishes to anyone else who's in need of good wishes being sent their way xxx

Like Dotty, I've also struggled with anxiety and low mood. December was really hard somehow. I have so many things wrong with my body these days let alone the fear of cancer it's overwhelming.

I've had two MRIs recently which are always a challenge for my claustrophobia, but I was so proud I managed the second one (brain) one so well - drugged up on Diazepam but so what!

Got the first MRI report the following day after the scan and my GP rang to refer me to an orthopaedic specialist for probable surgery etc but the main thing is it's not cancer so I will probably say please wait and give me other treatments for now to help. The report noted about 5 issues and the GP explained which were the most serious. I'm not up to surgery and recovery yet though after the onslaught of the Her2 grade 3, stage 3c (T3-N3-M0) breast cancer treatment and physical / psychological effects on me. I need to keep swimming and getting out and about.

The brain MRI they said on the day that I'd stayed very still so the pictures were clear; no other news yet, so I am assuming no cancer or they'd have contacted me by now seeing as the MRI was over a week ago now. It was actually ENT who ordered the MRI anyway, and amazingly the scan was only 6 days after my appointment with the consultant.

On a happier note, I am still swimming and also enjoying doing things out and about. Starting back at work part time soon... yikes, but sort of exciting too.

Love to all xxx

I’m doing my usual thing of being insanely optimistic that I can get the allotment tamed before I have surgery. To answer @ClashCityRocker it should take about two hours a week to maintain with bursts of extra input in spring and autumn but I am hopelessly behind due to cancer x2 broken leg and now hip surgery. Luckily the authorities are benign and very kind and people come over and strim the worst of it for me from time to time ( and decapitate my plants!) I’ve tamed about ten percent of it but hope to tackle a bit more this week.
The dinner party was… interesting. The house is huge and old fashioned and furnished from Facebook Marketplace with three holiday cottages alongside. My old friend’s new wife is a fully paid up Daily Mail reading racist which was deeply uncomfortable. She is very kind and offering to cook meals for us but her views on immigration are horrific. I’m going to have to think about how to cope with her.
Right, I’m going to go and tackle a strawberry bed now. Stay strong people. Happy birthday @Octopus45

@TopOfTheCliff the new wife sounds a challenge. I have adopted a smile and wave strategy with my neighbour, who freely proclaims the same views, despite the fact my husband is a non white immigrant! I haven’t got the energy to deal with her and cancer!

I'm back from New York! We had an absolutely brilliant time, the highlight was seeing Billy Joel in Madison Square Garden on my birthday, which was what sparked to the idea for the trip in my post cancer reckless booking things phase! Also did lots of wandering and eating, and we got an upgrade on the plane journey home. And I barely thought about work for a week and a half. Glad you're having a good time too @FairyWren7

Easing myself into it tomorrow. The only downer was coming back to find a letter for my routine scan next Sunday, so a period of anxiety is coming, especially as they are crap with admin and I don't have an appointment specifically to receive the results so will be worrying about a phone call for a couple of weeks, fingers crossed for your results @TopOfTheCliff and @SummerCycling. If anyone has any tips about getting through this period, please let me know! Especially as I need to seriously throw myself into work as my savings have nearly all gone and not be disabled by anxiety.

Well done to your daughter @Silkiebunny, that's amazing!

And sorry about your DF @dotty2 - i'm another one with elder care issues, my mum lives very nearby, but that also causes problems in terms of expectations that I will drop things and do things for her. Especially as I'm self-employed which nobody seems to consider to be a proper job. You might get that too.

@Makemineadecafplease I was advised to take gentle iron as a form that isn't so disruptive to your digestive system, especially if like me, it's already disrupted after chemo.

@Remaker I feel the same about people asking for detailed info when you feel it's more about them, I got annoyed with a friend who was asking about one of my friends - she doesn't even know my friend very well - it's really intrusive. Though I wouldn't mind someone who'd had cancer asking so much as at least you're more likely to understand the answer! My brother kept asking me lots of detailed questions, and then I'd reply, and then he'd just ignore me. Then he sent me a "helpful" article about improvements in cervical cancer treatment. Great, but I had endometrial and ovarian!

I'm just waiting for Ocado to come, I think I might be partly on American time still. I slept for 12 hours last night, though I went to bed at my normal UK time and woke up on American time! I've not planned anything much for tomorrow, I was hoping to go to the gym, but DD has a flat tyre on her car, so she's taken mine up to university instead and I need to sort hers out before I can go anywhere.

Thanks Sierra and happy birthday. Glad you had a wonderful trip, it sounds amazing.

Hope allotment goes well Top

Sorry you've been low Summer hope job goes well and good to hear you are still swimming.

Happy birthday Octopus

Sorry about all the cancer Remaker It was all male side here until me. 🤔

Glad things are going well Clash and Fairy

Hope you feel better soon Make

Just been swimming, did 118 x 15m, had a Sunday roast and galette. So far everything has gone really well in 2024. And I am continuing to lose the cancer weight gain - 6.1kgs to go. Over half way there.

@SierraSapphire it sounds like a fantastic trip. Hooray for reckless cancer spending! You will have lovely memories while you live on soup and save up for the next trip.

@tam23 that’s shocking! I would be itching to give her a piece of my mind. But your way is better. Smile and wave. I have problems with sexist gits in the bike club and have to steer clear of them because I have a very hot temper. I think they are afraid of me! Smile and wave…

@Silkiebunny you are a star! 118 lengths is amazing. I’m going to take my non ebike out tomorrow to emulate your efforts. The first plot on my allotment is looking much better but the second is still a wasteland. I’m enjoying tackling it and feeling so much stronger. The gym sessions are helping a lot. Maybe some proper cardio efforts on the bike will burn off a few calories.

I think it helps a lot to remember the recovery curve isn’t a straight line and we can still have bad days that depress us but overall we are making excellent progress compared to the hideous depths of chemo fatigue and weakness. My DH is very positive about the changes he can see. He is already plotting a long bike tour across Europe with me. I would love that!

@TopOfTheCliff - that’s lovely of your DH. It really helps when loved ones can see positive changes in us and make plans for the future.
My DH said one of his friends asked him how I was doing - and apparently he said ‘she’s doing great’. Such a little comment, but it meant a lot, probably because he wouldn’t say that so directly to me.

i have been reading the book Radical Remission (Kelly Turner) in no way am I advocating for anyone to forgo medical treatment for their cancer. But it’s quite inspiring and reassuring that people can do surprisingly well by taking charge of their own health - even when the picture seems bleak.
I have wondered if the author has made some cases up - but they ring true.

Just to reiterate- I will do all the chemo that they throw at me- just want to do anything else I can too.

I've read a lot of those books @RedRosesPinkLilies and I very much believe that making yourself as well as possible physically, psychologically and emotionally is really important not just for cancer but to avoid other illnesses as well. One of the practitioners I spoke to really emphasised to me the importance of focusing on my general wellness, rather than specifically the cancer. We have an acquaintance locally who refused chemo and radiotherapy and used other things, she's writing a book at the moment, she went from stage four breast cancer to NED. She had a really bad experience with our local NHS, and now goes privately to HCA in London where she's working with a consultant who is much more supportive of her approach. She does have regular scans, but no medical treatment at present. Another book I read was Dr Gabor Maté's When the Body Says No, and I really recognised in myself, the characteristics that were correlated with cancer, not putting my own priorities first, not having much joy in my life, just working and caring all the time, and thinking that I could just push through things even actually, my body was telling me something different. it makes sense to me that if we are under a lot of stress, our bodies will be less likely to be able to recognise and fight the cancerous cells that are developing in everyone all the time. I've changed my behaviour quite a lot, who knows whether it will make any difference regarding cancer, but I am certainly not as stressed as I used to be.

@SierraSapphire I completely agree with you. Very interesting about your acquaintance - it’s amazing that she has done so well.

I believe the stress my family (mum and siblings) put me under because they believed (very irrational) gossip about me and subsequently ostracised me - has lowered my immunity and helped cause my cancer. For about two years I lived with a horrifically stressful situation and often did wish I was dead. Cue cancer.

(Of course my family are all talking to me again, like nothing ever happened)

I too am much less tolerant of getting stressed by things that are not of importance to me.

I also don’t know what life changes will do to my cancer, but they’re not going to do any harm. The longer I can stay healthy otherwise- the longer I can hopefully be around.
I’m going to look up the Gabor Mate book.
Thanks x

Do you get bonus points for killing a cancer thread? X

@RedRosesPinkLilies 😂 I noticed it had gone a bit quiet! Sorry for your experience with your family. I've also noticed a lot of crossover between the cancer threads and the long running ones about coping with elderly parents, especially when we might have had difficult childhoods. My issue is that everyone expects me to be the support human whatever else is going on. my DB has just lost his job through long Covid. I do feel for him, but I just don't have it in me to support him when he left me alone sorting out things with my mum when I was going through cancer treatment.

I've had quite constructive day, I went to work in a new co-working place in town, which felt much better in helping me focus. At lunchtime, I went to a new Les Mills class at the gym, called shapes, Pilates based, seems like the sort of class where you feel you're not not really doing anything but then you wake up the next day and can't move! I was planning on going to my other gym tomorrow night for a swim, but it's going to be -6 and it doesn't really seem sensible to be driving 30 minutes through country roads in the dark, there were various ice patches around town today. Then I wonder if I'm just being a bit wimpy! It's going to be -9 in New York. We definitely picked a good week last week!

I'm still getting bloating come and go, I think I may have worked out it's actually coffee that's causing it 😭😭😭. Although apparently lactose intolerance because of chemo is a thing too, I had coffee with coconut milk instead today, and it still seemed to set it off again. Coffee would be my one luxury on a desert island, but I probably have been overdoing it recently!