How long does he have? Kidney failure and Perforated Gallbladder

[ForTheLoveOfGrace]

Let me start off by saying nothing compares to speaking to a doctor directly, which of course we plan to do but does anybody who has been through this similar situation or with medical experience in gallbladder issues alongside kidney disease, know how long my FIL has roughly?

He was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure 3/4 months ago. He was rushed into hospital via ambulance with serve pain which turned out to be gallstones.

He was sent home and told he needs to have the gallbladder removed in a few weeks but not 2 to 3 weeks later got rushed back into hospital again, with the diagnosis of a perforated gallbladder.

He has just spent over 5 weeks in hospital and then 2 weeks in a community hospital having physio to get well enough to go home as he was bed bound. He has a gallbladder drain in that is getting removed at the end of the month. However, the colour of his drain fluid (sorry) is dark brown /black and not green as it suggests it should be.

He is a very poorly man has lots of other underlying issues his mobility, lupus and pulmonary embolisms, is struggling to breathe just sitting down, is incontinent, and in our personal opinion shouldn’t be at home, but he is where he wants to be which we totally respect.

The general consensus we think (they haven’t been clear) from the doctors is that he is too poorly to have a gallbladder operation and I wouldn’t be surprised if he is now stage 5 kidney disease after what he has gone through.

This really only leaves it being a matter of time before he dies. We’ve managed to speak to only a junior consultant so far, but as he’s a little bit of a complicated case I generally don’t think they really know how long he has.

We hope to find out more when the drain gets removed but after seeing him yesterday I don’t know if he will make it till then.

I guess my main question is the colour of the drain is bad isn’t it? And how long are we looking at? I know it’s really hard to tell. But I think weeks not months? But who knows?

It’s a very sad situation as he is refusing any extra help from carers and is only having us and a community nurse (who is checking his drain) come into the house. We tried to get a council assessment done but we think he’s refused it.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hopeful bump

I can't answer most of your post but I can say if he goes onto dialysis that will take some urgency out of the likelihood of him dying from that. If he was to refuse (or be too poorly) to start dialysis with stage 5 kidney disease that would limit his life span to weeks/months probably.

Thanks @boomtickhouse He has said that he will refuse dialysis if it gets offered it.

It's the living with a dead or dying gall bladder without a drain bit we are struggling with. Most research suggests it wouldn't be long. We are prepared for it to be soon but just don't know how soon and it's hard seeing him this way.

Thanks for replying.

From what you have said about refusing dialysis and care it sounds like he has had enough of interventions and is preparing to die.

If this is his choice and he has the capacity to make it, then it is a matter of trying to ensure he is not in pain and that you spend time with him not talking about medical things, and certainly not arguing with him if you disagree with his views/decisions.

It is always very difficult to answer questions of 'how long' - there are too many factors at play.

Can you focus on supporting him and trying to make sure he's not in pain, and enable him to accept any particular care/interventions that he might choose to have that make life as comfortable as possible - he may of course change his mind as he is able to do about what he will/won't allow.

It is a very difficult situation, I hope you all support each other.

Thanks @willingtolearn yes, he has completely admitted he has had enough and wants to go. We have prepared ourselves and his grandchildren but we're just wondering if anyone had any insite as to how long we are living in this limbo land.

We are around there pretty much daily trying to make sure he is as comfortable as possible but he is in pain, breathless and miserable (all be it happy to be at home). We completely respect his decisions.

We are very much all supporting each other as sadly we've been here before with other family members deaths. It's a very difficult and sad situation.