Worried about getting cancer

[Melonandfalafel]

Good evening.

Firstly, for those who have cancer my best wishes to you, and I am appreciate that you have real concerns to contend with.

My Dad died of cancer earlier in the year, we knew he had terminal cancer but it was sooner than was anticipated.

I was devastated as loved him incredibly and he was a wonderful Father. I cried nearly every day since he was diagnosed. Now my grief comes in stages; I am often fine but occasionally break down unexpectedly.

However, I’ve started worrying about getting cancer. I’m trying to determine if this is a symptom of grief. It changes between all types of cancer too. At the moment I’m becoming quite anxious as I’m not sure if my body is telling me I have cancer, or it’s a stage of grief. If so, it seems quite a selfish perspective stage of grieving?

Can anyone help? I don’t want to discuss the topic with my family members for obvious reasons.

Thank you.

It's a reaction to your loss, OP, wishing you could control the past. Sorry for your loss. x

I'm very sorry you've lost your lovely dad.

My dad died quite young of cancer when I was 16. We kind of knew it was an aberration and I was okay (or as okay I could be.).

My mum died when I was in my 30s and I was overwhelmed with a sense of my own mortality which I found very upsetting.

All I can say is it did pass eventually and hopefully it will for you too ❤

Thank you both for coming back so quickly.
It is a horrible feeling, as alongside fear, it feels irrational and selfish x

Health anxiety. You’ve watched someone die and are terrified it’s going to happen to you. The feeling is worse if you’re a bit older (late 30s-40s) because it feels more imminent. I had bereavements in my 20s but they didn’t seem to hit as hard as bereavements in my 40s.

You can self refer to NHS Talking Therapies, they offer CBT for health anxiety. You may also find that meditation and relaxation exercises help.

Thank you @Kaill
Im in my late 30s.
I’ll take a look at our work counselling first if I think needed, as I know there is some strain with mental health services on the NHS at present.

Sorry to hear about your Dad. Agree with @Kaill that in terms of evaluating your own mortality, bereavements are harder as you get older.

I lost my Mum at 27 to leukemia and my Dad last year to prostate cancer, like you for a few months I knew this was the likely outcome. Unfortunately 11 months on I've just been diagnosed with breast cancer (v v small chance that it could be pre-cancerous but highly unlikely). Its been a big shock and life feels very cruel right now. Sorry this probably isn't what you want to read BUT I HAVE TO get through it, they think they've caught it early. No real advice apart from to be extra vigilant if you have family history, without becoming obsessive, easier said than done I know, and make any lifestyle adjustments if you can. I've considered my risk factors. I dont drink, I'm not overweight, I'm reasonably fit cause I dont drive and have a fairly active job, I dont smoke and I dont do drugs. However, I've had a lot of stress, tbh largely because of my Dad's health and balancing an elderly Dad with teenagers and very difficult family dynamics, not uncommon I know. I also don't eat very healthily, life gets in the way and I haven't prioritised it enough. My biggest regret is taking HRT (could not cope with peri as well as my Dad, I'm 48), when my Auntie had breast cancer at 51. The risk factor is very low if you are under 50, but I suspect this is where I went wrong. Also wonder if it would have got my Mum if she hadn't died of leukemia.

In short evaluate your lifestyle and try and live for today. Sorry don't know how to do the flowers emoji.

Oh op I'm sorry about your dad 💐

This is almost certainly what is triggering it, my dear uncle has cancer and it is terminal he was diagnosed a year ago and unfortunately he probably won't be with us too much longer

I'm 43 and I've always been a bit anxious re health as I've had a couple of health scares, thankfully fine so far. but my uncle being so sick has triggered it much worse

I am also waiting for a hysteroscopy as I have some womb thickening (prob perimenopause related but obvs they are also checking for anything abnormal ) so I'm massively anxious about that.

Cancer is my biggest fear x