So worried I have the start of dementia

[Autumnismyfavouritetime]

I’m getting myself further and further into a frenzy.

My dear 80 year old mum has Alzheimer’s. She was diagnosed approx 6 years ago and is progressively getting worse. I see her and dad every day as my dad doesn’t cope well and I try to help them as much as I can even though it’s breaking my heart to see them struggle so much.
If anyone has any experience with dementia you will know that it’s hell on earth, a wicked disease which has turned my lovely best friend of a mother into what now seems like my toddler child, with a 5 minute memory.

My mum and I have always been similar, personality wise and health wise. She had suffered from anxiety and depression most of her life, as have I.

I am 50 and have become more and more concerned recently that I may have the start of cognitive decline, it terrifies me.
I know that I suffer from anxiety and depression but it’s become so much worse recently to the point that I just feel so woolly headed all the time. I am constantly knackered despite sleeping all night (although I don’t think it’s truly good quality sleep). My brain no longer seems to be able to bear up and engage.

On a side note, I also have awful daily (all day) gut issues and despite endless tests and trying everything to remedy this, it too is dragging me down and causing me endless anguish, anxiety and depressive thoughts.

Recently, I have zero motivation and could spend all day just staring at the wall and achieving absolutely nothing. I feel as though my brain really does not want to engage. I could sleep all day if I allowed myself, I hate thinking and doing.
I lost my very part time job 3 months ago (nothing to do with my health issues, I was made redundant). I have gone down hill with all of this even more so since leaving my job. I can not find another and with my health issues worry how I would cope in a new job. I feel pretty useless right now.
I have also been experiencing a cigarette burning smell for the last year. It comes and goes but worries me as the first symptom my mum had was a complete lack of smell, which has become a permanent thing.

I am literally going insane worrying what is going on. How can I kickstart my brain into having some kind of motivation, I feel so mentally and physically sluggish and exhausted.

A lot of your physical symptoms sound like menopause. Exhaustion, lack of concentration, low mood and anxiety. I woild get back to the gp and talk through this possibility.
Also have your parents had a care needs assessment? All the support should not have to come from you.
And however hard it seems a 20 minute walk in fresh air every day would help too.

That was me when peri started. I thought I was going mad. Within a week of starting hrt, I got my brain back.

Thank you Bonbon21. My GP believes I am not in peri as I have a regular 28 day cycle and no night or day sweats etc. I do walk the dog for an hour every day (although it feels like wading through concrete!).
We have had all the care assessments but my parents have too much money to receive any help. Dad really needs to pay for help etc (he won’t as he is beyond tight but that’s a whole other exhausting story!)

Mabelface that’s so reassuring, I definitely need to go find another GP.

You should definitely be assessed to see if you can safely take hrt. If you can then it could alleviate many of your symptoms. I am the same age with my mum the same age also with dementia and i am also worried as I have trouble recalling words a lot of the time. I hear you. It’s horrible. But for you first stop must be to consider hrt. Periods changing is often one of the last symptoms.

Why would you not be in peri? You are 50. When does your GP think actual menopause starts?

I read that the cigarette smell is associated with low estrogen. It's also linked to covid recovery. I'd try hrt before panicking.

At your age, regular periods are irrelevant. if you are experiencing Peri menopause symptoms, they should be offering you HRT. Lack of night sweats is not really enough reason to deny you. I have regular periods, I also had the blood tests that all looked fine and yet they still gave me HRT and guess what... I'm feeling a LOT better (although need to tweak the meds, I think).

Go back to your GP or ask to see a different one.

You are going through a LOT currently, so if you're also suffering from peri menopause on top, then no wonder you feel like you're going crazy.

100% menopause. Exactly the same happened to me. My dad had early onset Alzheimer’s and I was convinced the same was happening to me. I’m a teacher and I’d lose the thread in the middle of a sentence and forget words etc. HRT is great if it works for you - ask for transdermal Oestrogel and Utrogestan - that’s the gold standard and be clear and insistent if they try to fob you off.

Chiming in here with more menopause. I thought I was dying last year and am a new woman now. Don’t be fobbed off!

I think it's perimenopause as well and am shocked that your GP didn't think this given that you're 50, the average age of menopause is 51 and perimenopause can last up to 10 years before that!

Your symptoms sound a lot like stress-hardly surprising given what you are dealing with. You need a better doctor.

Your doctor is quite frankly wrong if they think you are not in peri menopause. The average age for a woman to be in menopause is 52 and oestrogen usually starts declining around ten years before this. This is why if you are 45 or over you don’t need any blood tests to start HRT - (and only to exclude other conditions if you’re under 45) - according to nice guidelines because you are almost certainly in menopause. HRT first and then see how you go.

Your GP needs to do some retraining!

You have all the symptoms of peri/menopause.

I work with dementia patients and sometimes they laugh about my poor my memory is and they should be monitoring me 😂😂😂

look on www.menopausematters.co.uk

As mentioned above, nice guidelines state that any woman over the age of 45 who present with symptoms should be offered hrt in the first instance. Your gp is an arse who isn't keeping up with ongoing mandatory training.

Thank you everyone. That has made me feel a lot less panicky. I’ll ask to see another GP.

At your age they should diagnose peri-menopause based purely on symptoms. I'm younger than you and was suffering with similar and HRT has made a massive difference. I think it crept up on me during lockdown and I put it down to "lockdown fatigue" and boredom with work but once things started to get back to normal I realised it was getting even worse. Download the Balance app and use that to track symptoms before you see a GP again.

definitely peri. Average age for meno is 52 and women can be in peri for 10 years prior. GPs are often clueless about this (and a lot of other things). Also stress will exacerbate symptoms. I’d go back to see a different Dr or book in w a meno specialist privately if you can.

Yes I had to go to a 2nd GP to get HRT really helped with anxiety. I do understand about worrying about dementia, my dad had it - so horrible - my mum was worried she had it as was starting to get forgetful but when her stress levels went down her memory improved

Menopause for sure. I was having regular periods but had similar symptons to you. I suffered chronic anxiety and brain fog, could literally not think of my words. As soon as I went on to HRT it all stopped.

That sounds exactly how perimenopause started for me, although I was nearly ten years younger than you. My doctor gave me HRT and it sorted a lot of the issues out for me, and I still have regular periods too.

Thank you everyone.
I did wonder, deep down, that it was most probably due to peri but I’ve been so worn out worrying about my parents and am in a constant state of anxiety because dementia seems like such a huge and realistic fear for me now.
I honestly (and naively) never gave it a thought but now it affects my immediate family so much it has become a nagging sore wound of constant concern and fear. Any change in my mental or cognitive health and I’m on edge.
Maybe correcting my hormone levels will ease my daily anxiety and help me see thinks in a more level headed way?

Same situation to you but now four years older - it was peri menopause ( mum’s periods didn’t stop til 58 so I’ve got a few more years I think until full meno) but also the anxiety/stress/worry of the situation really didn’t help either . Low dose HRT has helped but anti depressants did help before my GP accepted that I could be peri menopausal and have very regular periods

Definitely menopause. I've never had a hot flush in my life but recognise all those symptoms. Please find a GP who knows what they are talking about x

I feel exactly the same as you regarding energy and motivation, and I’m putting it down to menopause. So far HRT hasn’t helped much, but I live in hope.
Interestingly I also have the cigarette smell symptom. Like you, it comes and goes. I mostly get it in the evenings in one particular area of my house and there is no possible explanation for it. I decided that it was a post-covid symptom, but I’m intrigued by the suggestion that it could be related to low oestrogen.

It’s really not uncommon for women in midlife to worry they are cementing….some people experience awful brain fog and cognitive changes and severe anxiety due to hormone change can also be crippling….if you check out Dr. Louise Newsome’s pages you will get more info. There is some evidence to show that commencing HRT in perimenopause can be protective against dementia/cognitive decline in later life.