my mum is likely to be sent back home after a brief stay in a care home because

[GodzillasNotAmused1BitBumcheek]

Apparently she hasn't been showing any problems like we have described while she has been in there.

The problems we told them about were that;

a)she tries to do her own clothes in the washing machine, but takes it back out and hangs it up before switching the machine on (leaving it with washing liquid dripping off).

b)she doesn't put her heating on even when her house is freezing cold. She feels her face and says, i'm warm, and switches her heating off. This is usually about five seconds after she switched it on in the first place.

c)she is constantly worrying what time it is, checking her watch, checking several clocks, misreading the time, walking to the window, looking out of the door. She does not rest because most of the time she is (often mistakenly) expecting someone.

d)she got stuck in the bath recently and wouldn't let anyone in to help her out of the bath - although she has a shower she is supposed to use instead

e)she rang the taxi service at 6.30 in the morning (this was just before she was admitted into the home to be 'observed') and when they didn't get there quick enough, she left the house, walking, left the door open, went to church (mass doesn't start til 9am), and was found stumbling and falling about on the steps at 7.30 by dh. She was let into church early, but while waiting was messing up the little shop at the back of the church, and dh was frantically tidying up after her!

f)she gets the food out of the freezer that she is supposed to be eating at 5pm, out on the kitchen counter first thing in the morning, opens the boxes and cuts open the boil in the bags
If someone comes and puts it away she will get it back out the minute their back is turned.

g)she goes out to the shop for milk (she likes to fill the fridge door with milk, but opens them all at the same time), but returns home having used large amounts of money and doesn't know how

and various other things - but not things that they would observe in a home as she wasn't expecting carers, and would not be doing her own washing, or have control over her food. I also presume she wouldn't be allowed to wander off for bottles of milk or call taxis at 6.30 in the morning.

So why, in a meeting today, did we (dsis and neice as well as myself) get patronizingly told what is wrong with her? We know she has Alzheimer's and Vascular Dementia, d'uhhh. And then to be told she will be going back home because she is not at a danger to herself and can cope on her own...
I guess if dh had got there and she had fallen over (again) and hurt herself she wouldn't be a danger to herself then? Or being stuck in a cold bath for 4 hours?

I don't know where i am aiming with this post but just wanted to rant...

Hi G.Z I dont have any experience of anything like this but couldnt read and run. It's ridiculous that they are treating you and your mum in this way she obviously needs the help.

Thanks OEM...you have been very patient to read that lot! I only realised how long the post was after i had clicked. Ooops.

Ask the care home to put into writing that in their professional opinion she is no danger to herself and they are ytherefore 100% happy or her to return home alone. Then tell them you wil not hesitate in using this as evidence in any neglect/lack of care case.....they may back track

That is disgusting does she have a social worker or any kind of home help at all

Does she want to be at home this goes d=for a lot even if the have alzheimers

Do you have enduring power of attorney

Sorry loads of questions I went through this with both of my grandmothers

does she normally live with you?

Who is funding her care and who made the original assesment to have her addmitted?

Has she had any other professionals involved in her care - GP etc who could back up your case?

If she does return home will it be with a package of care? Maybe carers calling at am, lunch tea time and bedtime will help her develop a routine and keep mum safe at home - if it doesn't work out you will have more than your say so of the difficultie she has.

Keep us posted

Oh dear, this doesn't sound good at all. Is her GP any help at all? Can s/he help put pressure on the care home if s/he is aware of how things are with her?

Just a suggestion, could you ask for them to do an assessment visit at her home - it would usually be done by an Occupational Therapist IIRC.

It would enable them to see how she is in her own environment, as this is very difficult to judge during a hospital admission, and people with dementia often have ways to 'cover up' their habits/problem areas.

Been a while since I worked on a ward so apologies if this isn't an option but might be worth considering?

Was this visit a respite visit? Who is funding her care? Does she have a CPN?

Right, answering questions not necessarily in right order...

(thanks for taking an interest btw, all of you)
GP is not helpful, i think it's beyond his scope to know what she is like at home all the time anyway
She has a social worker (a recent comment to dsis from her was 'you may not like her being at home but that's not the point'
She has carers who call at 7am to get her up (so she gets up at 6am to be ready ), 12noon to get her lunch, and 5pm for her tea. It's the time they aren't there which is the problem. She doesn't get into a routine because she is constantly reading the time wrong.
She does want to be home, because she doesn't believe there's anything wrong with her
DSIS has power of Attorney
she is funding her own care.
She doesn't live with me, i haven't lived at home for 13 years. She is on her own.

care of the elderley is disgraceful isnt it?

I would advise you to look for another home, if she is self funding then I am very suprised that they are sending her home.
Are they refusing to have her as a permanent resident or was this a respite stay?

Are there any other professionals involved? even the vicar could add to the picture?

Suggest if mum is funding her own care - whole other thread there.... then is the agreement with you and the home? If they are happy for mum to remain in their care then all is well?

I would defiantly ask the person who has done the assessment to put it down in writing then I would also ask the social worker to do the same
Then ask them what other things they are going to put in place to keep her safe

I would tell the social worker as power of attorney that I believe the money for all the out sourced care is not being spent wisely as your mom feels she has to be up to "welcome" the home carers this is not helping her not to fall IYSWIM

unfortunately you really have to make a song and dance about it if you feel she would be better of in a home and you should question your mom's capability of making a decision based on where she would like to be and where she would be safer and have a better quality of life

there is another power of attorney you can apply for after the first when you believe your moms mental state has deteriorated beyond making these decisions so you can make them for her

sorry that sounds so clinical I know how much Alzheimer's hurts

I don't know if observing her at home would work unless it were for a long period of time (not just an hour, i mean). DSIS would have to stop doing all the things she does (it is making her ill, and it's not possible for one of us to be there all of the time), like making sure the washing is re-done properly, and cleaning up the loo, and taking her out shopping every Thursday (it's no mean feat doing shopping with a Dementia sufferer. They make a mean fuss when you stop them from getting into other people's taxis, so i'm told).

Yes, Slarty, it is disgraceful. It would help if i wasn't also feeling guilty though.

She can't stay at that particular home - it's not a residential home as such, it's a ward of the hospital, dealing with elderly patients with mental problems, and for respite care. They called it....intermediate care.

Has the SW involved completed a risk assessment? Also, as carers you have then right to request a carers assessment which will allow for your views and needs to be identifed( may help to document your concerns).

If your mother is self funding then that should effectively rule out SW needs assessment as there would be no need to allocate funding (that is the situation in Scotland with free personal/nursing care).

Also, how recent is your mother's mental health assessment? If there has been further decline in her capacity then this my provide more support for her case. You could discuss this further with the GP.

Arhhh, if it is a hospital placement these are not long term but more of an assessment period in my experience but obviously this is not a natural setting for mum so all the behaviours you have to contend with will not occur for example the washing etc.

Get the social worker to suggest homes for you to go and look at and discuss mums needs directly with them. Ask for an approved social worker - more experienced or talked to the team manager at adult services and rasie the concerns you have, You will need to make a somg and ance about these things is doesn't come easy I am afraid.

Peanutbear she is going to be assessed as to whether she is capable of making her own descisions, then asked if she wants to go home. If they find her capable (and i have a feeling they might, although i don't think she is), there is nothing we can do to keep her away. It took months for the first power of Attorney to come through, i assume it would be too late for the second.

Her mental assessment is recent. They also found out that she has had an infection which would have made her behavior worse (which would account for the bath fiasco, but everthing else has happened for months, or at least a few times before), and tried to brush off all her problems on that.

I will tell DSIS about the risk assessment and carers assessment, she has been more involved with the SW etc up to now (she didn't ask me as she didn't think i'd want to attend the meetings )