dd1, whose weight i was worried about, has said tonight she is fat.

[misdee]

i have never said that to her.

so we have had a talk this evening, she wants to see the GP (am trying to get an afterschool appointment) and see what they say. i think they will just tru and focus on stabilising her little excess podge (she weighs about 4stone, and is 8years old), until her height catches up.

she has said she will stop asking for snacks all the time and will go for the fruit bowl. and exercise more.

what else can we do?

have you looked at a child's bmi chart? www.kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/bmi_charts.html

Oh sweetheart, don't say that. Don't. I do think it's terribly hard especially when you've got 'baggage' (horrible word) from your own childhood - I certainly find it so.

Agree gymnastics sounds wonderful. I think a lot of this for me is about getting my little girls happy and confident in their bodies - we live near a big dance centre so I've put them on the waiting list for classes there. And we walk a lot, I think.

(By the way I'm quite small these days...but I still turn clothes up .)

Given the variation in sizes of clothing for children, I don't think that can be a completely hard and fast rule.

Also, I am completely in awe of the way you have coped with everything and you are officially not allowed to be hard on yourself, OK?

dinny, according to those BMI she is in the upper part of healthy which is a releif. but she is def carrying more round her middle.

will focus on exercise more for her. i will let her pace me at the park on her bike

MI, i am 5ft 4 o na good day (i seem to shrink by upto 2inches on bad days hehe) if i lost this weight and get back down to a 12/14 then i could buy stuff in the petite ranges and not have to take trousers up.

part of me doesnt want to worry at all, but then i know how cruel children can be.

she is quite active, not as active as she should be, mainly as her asthma has been pretty bad this winter.

she is doing really well at swimming as well, so will try and get in a fun swim session at the weekends, make a family thing of it.

maybe i am figuring it out wrong.

she is 118cm tall.

she isnt quite 8, she is 8next weekend

I really wouldn't worry Misdee, when dd1 was 9 I had to buy age 12/13 jeans to fit around her tummy! They had to be taken up of course although she is tall. Now the same jeans absolutely bury her because she has just changed shape, her eating habits have not changed. (She is now 10.8 btw)

thank you, you have been very reassuring.

does anyone know where i might be able to get her soem jeans that fit?

she seems to live in skirts and leggings atm, but she wants a pair of jeans.

Ours were from Next. They don't have adjustable waist but Next do do them.

Oh think they also have wider fit as well.

are those the new plus fit ones?

i bought a pair of age 8 ones last week thinking they were the larger ones, and dd2 ended up with them as dd1 couldnt do them up.

What about a bit of a health drive for the two of you? Think about a family adjustment to food - ie throwing out the snack stuff and making a conscious effort to move to healthier eating, not dieting but more of a change to your lifestyle (not necessarily all at once) and then maybe some fun physical activity that you can do together as well as the gymnastics for her (fab move, especially if it's something she might excel at, as there is nothing as good for the confidence than knowing you are good at something). Also consider the family patterns of growth. Some families have puppyfat stages followed by growth shoots, and some start to put on weight in childhood and never really shift it, so be realistic about what to expect. Having said that it sounds like you are taking a sensible approach anyway. I think encourage the good, cut down on the bad and think long term are all good, and it's sad that children worry about these things (my ds has gone through stages about worrying about being too thin btw)

nooka, thank you.

i am already dieting and am down 2stone from my weight last year (1stone since i restarted in oct), and am trainign for running in race for life 5k run in the summer. i did a 5k run at the weekend (walked through a lot of it) for british heart foundation, so dd1 has seen the change si am going through. i am hoping its not impacting on her negatively. i grew up with my mum yo-yo dieting a bit, not massively.

we do really need to do more stuff as a family and get out there more.

can i ban dh from buying jaffa cakes

I think so but you may be as well just buying a older age size, depending on how tall she is versus the jean size iyswim!

she isnt very tall. slightly below average maybe?

have ordered her a plus fit pair and one pair a year older as well.

Hope one of them fits her - I know lots of people don't like Next but I find them good for the dc and they have lasted and washed well.

YES, SOME OF DD3 CLOTHES HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN FROM DD1 VIA DD2.

sorry for caps lock.

will pop into town tomorrow afternoon as well and see if they have anything different in store.

i hated not being able to wear 'cool' clothes as a child as nothing would fit round my middle.

Actually we've had trousers from Tesco with adjustable waists too, and maybe H&M but not sure would have to check.

oh yes, i remember tesco are very generous in the cut of their clothes for kids.

and asda as well.

Not been as successful with Asda once she got past 8 tbh.

If she's got a bit of a tummy then next & M&S are probably no good - try Tesco! I had this problem for years with dd1. She always grew out before she grew up and got very upset when we went in a shop & none of the jeans fitted. Unfortunately, we ended up going to Gap for a few years as they were the only jeans that fitted (and they weren't cheap) I also turned her trousers up for quite a few years. It probably carried on until she was about 11, when everthing seemed to even out. She's now 12.5, as tall as I am, 32B bra size & size 8 skinny jeans!
DD2, on the other hand, has a real problem as we can't find trousers small enough on the waist with legs long enough. She's 10.5 but takes size 6-7 in knickers. They've both been brought up in the same house, on the same food and with the same excercise levels (although different hobbies) - go figure!

I think if you grow up with people who are worried about their weight and yo yoing (or just talking about it a lot) that can be a bad thing, but having someone in the family having such positive attitude and training has to be a positive thing surely?

Upping the sport has to be a positive way ahead - dh is a body builder so a bit weird about food and stuff, but I think it's good to discuss these things with the children. When ds got worried about because "there's nothing of me, I'm just skin and bones" I wondered if a bit of weight training might be good for him too, or perhaps something like climbing because it suits those with light frames. Likewise with dd who is set to be very tall I'm thinking about what sport she could do that would make her feel good about that. Also exercise helps with positive mental attitude and speeds up metabolism so if you are trying to lose or maintain weight it really does help.

Oh and clothes wise, try Asda or if you have one Pumkin Patch. Their trousers fall off ds (literally) so might be worth a try (they also have adjustable waiste bands).

misdee, my DD is 9. She does ballet, brownies, swimming, basketball at school and is always on the go. She has a big appetite but I curb this with healthy home cooked food and fruit snacks with only a sprinkling of unhealthy ones to keep the balance.

I bought her a ton of clothes today, shorts and tops for holiday and a pair of cropped jeans and a dress. Not one single thing fitted her. I said how annoyed I was that clothes shops cut clothes for teenagers not little girls with little girl shaped bodies. It's true, all these hipster style, skinny cut jeans etc, she's 9 FFS not 15. Her figure will come, she will have a waist where at the moment she is straight up and down with a tummy out the front!

I am so frustrated at not being able to buy clothes without her trying them on first but her best friend at school is a head and shoulders taller than her, slim and can't find anything to fit her either! You can't win.

I think just healthy attitude to food always, don't ban stuff, just moderate the treats and always talk stuff through. And exercise where you can. You're a good mum, you talk sense, don't worry too much about it.