Sleeping problem for a 20 year old

[KateLucyMary]

Hi, my son 20 is having problems with trying to sleep. It all started last Jan as he started a placement job doing 5 days and has to get up very early in the mornings. He goes to bed @ 9.30/10pm. It takes him ages to get to sleep and when he does get to sleep, he wakes up later on in the night and then it takes ages to go back to sleep. It causing problems and arguments. I have 3 more kids, 2 older than him and 1 younger. We do tried to be v quiet at night but any slightest noise or even a peep of light, he gives out saying he can't sleep. He's very frustrated, worn out and is constantly fighting with his siblings, blaming them. They complained they can't go on xbox, tv or talk to their friends by night and that he's selfish. It's like he has some sort of ptsd, any noise triggers him off, he goes into a meltdown. He refuses to go to see a Dr as he said he doesn't want to go on tablets, he won't wear earplugs as he won't be able to hear the alarm. Is there anything else that can help beside taking tablets? I hate seeing him like this and I fear he's heading for a nervous breakdown.

He's 20.
It's your house (presumably)
If he can't be bothered to take measures to tackle his sleep issues then why should you?
Go about your evening as you normally would and stop pandering to another adult.

Tell him to get an iwatch or similar, they can wake you with a vibration, that way he can wear earplugs. And slip a nytol in his tea.

One of mine went through a phase like this in a new job, the less he slept the more he expected to not sleep - it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. It was anxiety but it wasn't until much later that he admitted it. A GP wouldn't just prescribe drugs, therapy can help. Recognising patterns and developing techniques works.

Nytol or Phenergan can be helpful to ease him into sleep. Encourage him to try earplugs at the weekend with his phone alarm on vibrate, to test out if that wakes him, or as a pp suggested a vibrating watch. It does sound like anxiety so l would also try to persuade him to have a chat to his G.P. My son suffered with sleep problems at this age and in the end had to have medication to help him as he found it so stressful.

I don’t think it’s possible to override your circadian rhythm long term without pills

I think he’s going to bed too early and therefore struggling to sleep, resulting in a vicious cycle of not sleeping leading to anxiety, leading to not being able to sleep. Anxiety too from change in routine and new job. He’d be better off going to bed when he’s tired (previous bed time) so he actually sleeps. He can then very slowly bring back his bedtime (15 mins every 3 days) but 930 will be too early whatever he does. 10-1030 earliest I reckon for his age

Very difficult. Does he share a bedroom? Get a loud white noise machine or fan so help out drown any noises etc. I would say he needs to go to bed between 10:30-11pm as 9:30 is still fairly early and he's probably not quite tired enough. Take some night lol herbal tablets to relax. Unfortunately it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety when we can't sleep. He's obviously got stuck in rutt with it 😞