Scared of the dentist

[Puppytrashedmysofa]

I haven't been to the dentist for eighteen years. I'm scared of what he'll say or do.Is my health in danger from germs leaking from my teeth?I'm mid fifties.

You're not alone, for me it was almost 7 years and I was terrified. I Finally had to go as I was in so much pain, and as unbelivable as this sounds, it actually it wasn't that bad. I think the long gap had allowed me to build it up into something scarier than it actually was, and fear of the dentist was worse than actually having anything done.

Like you I thought I was going to be shouted for leaving it so long, or something terrible had happend in the long years since my last visit. But the dentist was kind and patient. He explained it happens a lot, and that for many people the first visit after a long break was actually a surprise as things often aren't as bad as they fear. I'm now on a dental plan, which helps as there's a schedule and the fact i'm paying for it means i'm more likely to go as I don't want to waste the money. I will never enjoy a visit to the dentist, but going regularly helps keep the fear away.

Even the people who to the dentist 6 monthly usually hate the dentist 😂

But on a serious note, try not to worry, they will have seen it all before.

My mum never took me to the dentists when I was a child as she was terrified herself, and then they fear passed down to me. I had to go when I was about 18 as I for the most horrendous toothache and it turned out I had gum disease and required two teeth to be taken out.

Anyway, to cut a long story short my fear of dentists never went away and I would usually only go if something was wrong with me.

When I had children I started to make sure I went regularly so they would too and realise it was nothing to fear.

I would still avoid it if I could though.

This time last year I started getting worrying symptoms of sore gums, teeth sensitivity, bleeding when I brushed etc and I just ignored it because I was too scared to see the dentists.

I did ultimately go though and again was diagnosed with severe gum disease where I have to go and see them every 3 months for treatment, as well as an extensive brushing/scaling/flossing regime at home twice a day.

I was mortified when the dentist told me, I was so so embarrassed, but I also knew it was my own fault. They told me that if I’d left it much later then it was likely my teeth would start falling out as the bacteria was causing my bone to wear away. Things are much better now but they they are still considering doing gum grafts on me….I don’t really know what that involves but it sounds pretty scary! I’ve got my check-up with the hygienist next week and I’m dreading it.

My mum, whose fear has stopped her from ever going to the dentist has awful teeth, gum disease, bad breath and she can’t use her back molars to eat with due to being on pain. I don’t know what it will take to ever make her to go to the dentist.

My point is, as terrified as you may he, by facing up to that fear, and your fear of judgement, you will hopefully avoid ending up in a situation like either me or my mother.

Just remember that the dentist probably sees 50 mouths day and I’m sure yours won’t be the worst, and as awful as your 10 minute slot may be, at least you know you’ll soon be out and your mouth will be forgotten about as he peers into the next one.

I tend to completely switch off when I’m in the dentists chair and pretend I’m somewhere else, it’s usually the only way I can get through it.

But you’re doing a good thing by going!!!

Do you have any problems? What’s made you go after 18 years??

Thankyou.This has helped.One of my dentists way back then , reprimanded me for not going for five years.He said I was lucky to get away with just one filling but he was a bit of a shit the comment he made to the assistant so I didn't go back and changed to a much nicer female , she was very good at keeping the nerves away ,even though a root canal and a silver tooth capping was on the way , which is the only back tooth in good condition I have left , apart from one rapidly losing all the enamel.
The cost is a fear too because I'm sure there's lots too do so a monthly payment plan would be ideal , but not sure I'd get a NHS dentist now.
Your dentist sounds great hope I'm as lucky as you because I'll have to go soon.

Thanks.You've been through alot and your right I shouldn't zone in on my own teeth condition there's probably many like me , so this will help with the fear.
I haven't arranged to go yet.I realise after your post that thinking I'm lucky not to have any major tooth ache or major problems except the occasional collapsing tooth that I have had to spit out , that maybe alot of problems could be coming , just a matter of time.
I had some blood about a month ago and seeing the back tooth very grey in colour losing its enamel is making me think.i should go ,but the cost is worrying.
I do brush properly morning and night even the gaps and after drinks or food when I can with water.I met a guy with one tooth at the front the other day , which also had me thinking I've really got to go.Thanks for replying.

Like you OP, I didn't go to a dentist for something like 20 years - I was totally 'dental phobic'.
At one point I had to go to the doctors as I kept getting inflammation due to my inner cheek rubbing on a broken rear tooth The doctor referred me to a dentist who specialised in helping those with such a phobia. She took things very very slowly - ( the first visit I simply sat in the chair while she talked to me ). It might be worth having a talk with your doctor to see if you can get a similar referral ?
Hope this helps.

Thanks that would be great , had no idea they had specialist dentists like that was she NHS or private?

Just to mention I have epilepsy. Even though I've had no fits for three years, I'm wondering if they'd knock me out because stress can cause fits.
I've three broken teeth that are still there but are almost beneath the gum so I can imagine alot of work needed.

First thing you need to do is find a dentist that you are happy with. Look online and read reviews. You will also get an idea of the costs involved.

I had an nhs dentist up until covid when she went private. I was offered sedation for a root filling but didn't feel I needed it.

I'm now with a private dentist who also offers sedation,

At your first appointment they will do the initial check up and give you a detailed treatment plan with all the costs involved.

I hope that you manage to get the treatment that you need.

👍

If you say which area you’re in someone might be able to recommend someone. My dentist is amazing (East Midlands!) despite dealing with an abscess, 4 hours of root canal and a cracked tooth on me recently. And she’s ginger so she’s generous with the anaesthetic 😂.

And she’s ginger so she’s generous with the anaesthetic 😂.

That made me laugh 😆

I don't get that😬.Yes please, I'm in Oxted surrey area willing to travel half hour anywhere.
Found out last night apart from gum disease you can get heart disease, so maybe best we all get down the dentist.

i was always afraid of the dentist as a child and stopped going when I was a teenager. By then I had about 8 huge fillings in my back teeth. In my early 20s a bit of tooth cracked off and one of the fillings started to drop down. I pushed it back up with my finger but knew I’d need to see a dentist!
Despite explaining my deep fear and telling them it needed to be fixed at my appointment, they just gave me a check up and I was told to make another appointment- I didn’t go back for 30 years!
A recurring abscess forced me to face up to my fear and I got a recommendation from a work colleague for a NHS dentist that were great with “nervous” patients. My doctor also gave me some diazepam to take the edge off my first appointment. It definitely helped but it was the dentist’s manner that helped the most I think. I ended up needing a root canal and crown- quite a big procedure! I’ve since had similar work done and have been in the chair for over an hour on occasions without having a major panic. It’s not my most favourite way to spend time but it’s no longer the trauma I always thought it was.
At the end of the day, it was a needs-must situation for me but it also felt good to overcome such a lifelong fear.

Some practices offer IV sedation and they would know what to do relative to epilepsy. Teeth are likely to need more attention as we age and as you mentioned, there are links to overall health if your teeth are bad.
Go for it OP! You can do it!

Try this nhs dentist checker for your area.

www.england.nhs.uk/contact-us/how-can-we-help/how-do-i-find-an-nhs-dentist/

You may be able to register with a nhs dentist in your area.

I'm sorry that you are facing this.

Forgot to say earlier, the ginger dentist comment is referring to the fact that redheads require more anaesthetic. Not sure if it is true, but have often read on mumsnet that this is the case.

Thanks.I've got to say after this thread though I'll have to do it , alot of motivation from you people thanks so much.I can't ride my luck any longer eating with one crown at the back.They last on average fifteen years so i don't think it will hold up much longer and I'll be able to eat crisps again.

Thanks I will now.That's alot of years how did you get over your tooth ache episodes.I would bite down on garlic which always seemed to work.
Best face your fears , anyway I've told my partner and son about the blood , one saying probably just through over brushing , but both say its time to go.My sensible son won't let it go anyway till I've gone and I couldn't stand the nagging.
Hope this inspires others to go too. thanks all🙂

Well done for facing this. Bleeding gums is mainly caused by gum disease.

Get an appointment booked today and then things will improve. You will feel much more in control of the situation once you've booked the appointment.

Honestly, the dentist would have seen it all before. Just be honest with them regarding your fear.

Come back later and let us know when your appointment is booked for. You can do this.

I'm in the south east and I pay £58 for a check up with a private dentist which includes X-rays. I think the nhs charge is around £25 if you are lucky enough to find an nhs dentist.

Either way, you will definitely need to visit the hygienist, I don't think that you can get a nhs hygienist as they are mostly private. Anyone can book in for the hygienist, you don't need the dentist to refer you. I pay £60 for half an hour. Maybe start off with this to get you in the swing of things.

Be brave 🌻

Yes I know getting over that first barrier will make it easier.I promise to book it but can't today , because working with my boss so can't look up imfo on this thread.
I will get back , thanks for caring.

Happy to hold your hand @Puppytrashedmysofa

Good luck. Dentists generally seem better these days- especially the private ones who wants you to come back!! It’s in their interests to be kind and understanding. Have a look on the websites of local ones- some will say they specialise in nervous patients.

I'm another one with a mum with a phobia so wasn't taken to dentists as a child and therefore I became an adult nervous of dentists. I wouldn't say phobic because this week I did finally go.

A few months ago part of a top wisdom tooth broke off and then last week when I bit something it felt like the tooth broke more and I had terrible pain for a day or two then it settled but it started to feel like there was a tooth in the way when I was biting down. I was too nervous to even put my tongue back there and feel around.

But I made an emergency dentist appointment and I turned up for it. I explained I didn't go to the dentist and why. And the dentist was lovely. She didn't tell me off for not going earlier. She didn't exclaim that my teeth were awful or anything. She just found the problem with the wisdom tooth and explained it needed to come out. She said I could get it done there and then or come back another day, or I could come back and have it done under sedation. I was very nervous but told her to do it there and then because I knew I wouldn't come back if I got out of the chair.

It wasn't a pleasant experience but it wasn't the worst thing in the world and didn't take too long. She said there was a massive abscess on the tooth and she was amazed I wasn't in excruciating pain. I think I'd just got used to it!

I took painkillers that night for fear of the anaesthetic wearing off and being in agony but the agony never came. And my mouth feels so much better now. She did say there were 'some other things going on' like a few cavities but I'm determined that I will register (as a private patient which is annoying but not their fault - the government seems determined to get rid of NHS dentistry) and get everything seen to.

I haven't been to the dentist since just before Covid (and like many others, was booted off the books for not attending). Even then, I had a "shadow" in my jaw (was not told, but the dentist told the nurse), and had 'perio' put on the form I had to take to reception when I paid. No treatment or follow up offered for either.

Now I have no dentist at all. I am on UC so don't have to pay, but there are no NHS dentists taking adults where I live and have not been for a long time. There is a private one who offers a consult for £25, and if I was brave, I could have an appointment within days. But my teeth are terrible now. One has drifted and flared (I assume bone loss, but it is the one that had a shadow above it and Dr Google says it could be a tumour too) and now sticks out of my mouth. I can't even smile with my mouth closed as it pokes out.

Hi Puppytrashedmysofa
She was an NHS dentist

Great thanks for that.I do remember freezing when I sat in the dentists chair , then immediately having the little mirror plunged into your mouth and then the digging round the teeth going through the teeth condition to the nurse.So it would be great to talk first to help to relax.