Hello, I'm not sure what I want to accomplish other than maybe get a little hope as I gather the courage to see a doctor. I have severe health anxiety and trauma that makes it hard.
Quick history: 39, female, MANY moles on trunk/arms, dark hair/eyes, no known family history of any skin cancer.
I've had this mole on my abdomen since my teens (possibly longer). It never qualified for any melanoma criteria before. It's raised, medium brown and smaller than a pencil eraser. I've always trusted this mole and never gave it much thought since it's been stable. I noticed recently that there's a little brown bump sitting on top of the mole. I can't really describe it. It's like a little mole on top of my mole. I also noticed that there's a flat patch of light brown pigment underneath the raised mole. Almost like it's "spilling" out of the mole. Similar to how a fried egg looks only it's not all around the mole. Just underneath. It's the same color as the mole and the entirety is still smaller than a pencil eraser. My habit has been to glance at it in the shower so I never really see underneath it. I might have even missed the bump since it's dim in the shower. I have no idea how long it's looked like this. I'm embarrassed that I haven't looked at it more than that. I'm very self conscious and don't like to look at myself in the mirror.
It seems bad and I'm terrified. Some really dodgy moles can be benign but I've seen none that look like mine. I keep seeing that melanoma growing from an existing mole is less common but most personal stories I've seen seem to be from moles that people had since childhood. I'm so scared. I'm especially scared of nodular melanoma. I don't think my central mole could be that since I've had it so long but the little bump on top could be. I've seen no photos that look quite like this. I had size and color on my side for ordinary melanomas but the nodular type can be sneaky. I also know that the ABCD criteria is only a guide.
I know what I need to do but I'm desperate for hope in the mean time. I feel like I already know what it is based on the bump and that I'm not allowed to even hope. I'm also scared because it doesn't seem like previously "healthy" moles go through benign transformations in your mid to late 30's. My son has medical issues and I've been distracted by that recently. I can't believe this is happening right now.
Thank you for letting me get this out. I'm sorry to be a burden.
x