how do you know if you are just fed up or actually depressed?

[chelsygirl]

serious question

bit worried about myself

in all honesty, i dont know, i have this issue myself

HAVE YOU HAD THE SYMPTOMS FOR LONGER THAN 2 WEEKS?

oops sorry

You can do Beck's depression Inventory for a good gauge but you are best to go and see your GP.

If the symptoms are persistent and reflect a significant change in personality including change in appetite, sleep, mood etc then you may be depressed - changes can go either way more sleep or less for instance.

Can you expand on how you feel chelsy?

have felt like this for ages

trouble is we have 2 lively kids and no help whatsoever so it feels everything is down to us

also my mum is 80 and I'm the only relative who visits her/helps her so again its all down to me

the house is tiny and wages are very low, everything just feels such a struggle sometimes

I work minimum wage jobs around the kids when dh is at home, so family time at a minimum too

kids don't sleep well/never sleep in so broken sleep and up at the crack of dawn is normal

dh and I hardly ever get a minute together, never had a night away together in 10 years, when we go out (very seldom) we pay a babysitter (more than I earn!!)

sometimes it all just feels never ending, I feel very isolated, have pals but no-one I know is in our situation so find it hard to have a friend I can relate too

Hi Chelsy - there's a huge difference between being exhausted and pissed off with a situation which is making you sad and being depressed. However being permanently sad about a situation that you are powerless to change can lead to depression so something needs to be done to address the problem either way.

You sound like the former to me (although not diagnosing here, would be impossible on cyberspace) but my god I would be pissed off as well - it sounds miserable, knackering and hard work.

How much time do you get that is just yours or just yours and dp's in the space of a week?

I get a couple of hours twice a week when the kids are in school

TBH dh and I don't get any time alone together apart from when the dc's are in bed, say after 9pm.

I know I can;t change my family situation, just don't know how to deal with it better so I'm not constantly feeling bogged down and desperate

dh and I can't afford a regular babysitter and have tried to set up a babysitting circle, most if not all of my friends have family who babysit so they aren't interested in being in a babysitting circle as they are getting it free anyway

it sounds very tough but how old are the children?

You say you can't afford a regular babysitter but what about once a month?

5 AND 10

my daughter babysits for £10 an evening - has your 10 yr old got any friends with older siblings - they're often cheaper and your children are old enough to be left with a responsible teenager.

I know all your friends are sorted but wouldn't they just help you out if you asked them? I know I would for my friends.

Orange Wednesday at the cinema makes it cheaper and you could snog on the back row, go for a pint afterwards and even park up in a lay-by for some naughtiness

if you're concerned, go and talk to your GP, it may be that you're just exhausted and need some downtime to rest.

As a rough guide, if you honestly feel you can say yes to 5 or more of these in the past fortnight, you may be depressed and should visit your GP.
If you are suffering from just a couple, but badly enough to be affecting your life, I'd still suggest you visit GP.

A persistent sad, anxious or empty mood

Sleeping too little or too much

Reduced appetite and/or weight loss or gain

Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed

Restlessness or irritability

Physical symptoms that don't respond to treatment (such as headaches, stomach upsets)

Difficulty in concentration or with memory or making decisions

fatigue or loss of energy

feeling guilty, worthless or hopeless

Feelings or thoughts of suicide, death or self harm

wisteria, I wish your daughter was near me!

I know what it would take to make me feel better but its impossible to get for us (family support)

Would it be worth asking around for some bored teenagers? I think £10 is more than reasonable for them to sit and watch your tv/ eat your chocolate instead of your own.....

Babysitting is overpaid IMO.

My dd got 40 this week for babysitting !
They love her so am cool