77 year old dad, possible bladder cancer. I'm not coping

[Magic1231]

Hi, I didn't know exactly where to post this... but sort of just wanted a hand hold/advice ect.

So, I noticed blood in my dad's toilet by chance (which he'd been hiding from us) forced him to go to the doctors, and disgustingly they just palmed him off with antibiotics and had no information/referal or anything. Fast forward say 3 weeks my dad started getting significantly ill, could no longer urinate ect ect.
I got him an emergency appointment at the hospital last Sunday, they've kept him in ever since and given him blood transfusions and he had an op on his bladder on Friday, yet he's still passing blood and no definitive answer... but honestly, it's looking like you know what.

I suffer from bad mental health at the best of times, so this has sent me completely spiralling, I can't sleep, eat, Im constantly anxious and crying.

I'm sorry for the long post, my brain isn't working too well either. 😔

Thanks if you read this xxx

Anyone?x

Sorry to hear about your dad. Do you have strategies that you use to cope with anxiety generally? I think the not knowing stage is usually worse so hopefully you will have some answers soon 💐

My father is having treatment for bladder cancer. He’s 90. It’s quite a treatable cancer as long as it hasn’t metastasised. The treatment can be tough - surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. But it’s treatable.

Sorry your message was lost.

im really glad your Dad is being watched now. If they’re keeping him in that means he’ll be being checked out and looked after.

what support do you have for your mental health??how’s your Dad feeling? Can you get to see him?

both my parents have had cancer (one in their fifties, twice, one in late sixties). Diagnosis times for both of them were completely different, as was the time waiting for treatment decisions.

Thankyou for replying.
I do see him yeah, he was acting his normal self, trying to stay upbeat until I saw him yesterday and he was clearly depressed, which broke my heart. He's my best friend, and seeing him suffer is literally my worse nightmare.

I don't really have any support regarding my mental health, the rest of my family have always been like 'pull yourself together' I take fluoxetine and have done for years, maybe it's worn off though.

Sorry to hear others are going through the same thing xxx

You can get support from outside your family. Can you talk with your GP?

Ahh, you know the doctors, and mine are particularly bad, so the very best I can get is a phone appointment and it's never the gps that know your history xxx