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I am so frightened

19 replies

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 20:11

I can't go into details because it's so traumatic for me. I'm so frightened. I'm heartbroken. What did I do to deserve such a huge cross to bear 💔 I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac. Listening to their beautiful, carefree music and the happy people listening to it. I wanted to be one of them. My situation isn't life limiting but it's life altering and it's too humiliating to even talk about. What did I do to deserve this. I'm sorry. Please just fucking get rid of it!!! It's a ghost that will never stop haunting me. I'm so, so sad.

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Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 21/04/2023 20:14

Huge hug. 💐
If you want to share more I'm here.

ilovemyspace · 21/04/2023 20:22

Apart from the fact that Fleetwood Mac - despite their happy music - had quite unhappy times individually! ....... I find that there is nothing in life that someone else hasn't experienced too. So please, if you can, realise that nothing is too humiliating (especially on an anonymous online forum 🙂)

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 20:30

ilovemyspace · 21/04/2023 20:22

Apart from the fact that Fleetwood Mac - despite their happy music - had quite unhappy times individually! ....... I find that there is nothing in life that someone else hasn't experienced too. So please, if you can, realise that nothing is too humiliating (especially on an anonymous online forum 🙂)

Trust me mate. Nobody has ever experienced this. Even the dozens upon dozens of doctors looked at me like I have two heads. I have a very specific sex related injury from when I was young, wild and completely fucking STUPID. Nobody will ever experience this but me. I'm well and fucking truly walking this winding road alone. I'll be fucking glad when it's over and finished with. Thanks for trying x

OP posts:
PollyPeptide · 21/04/2023 20:31

You don't have to tell anyone anything, but please believe that you have no reason to feel humiliated about anything, particularly something that is frightening and heartbreaking.

winewolfhowls · 21/04/2023 20:34

Honestly the medical profession has seen it all, even if afew specific staff haven't. I hope that you have some treatment options or meds in the pipeline to make you more comfortable?

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 20:40

winewolfhowls · 21/04/2023 20:34

Honestly the medical profession has seen it all, even if afew specific staff haven't. I hope that you have some treatment options or meds in the pipeline to make you more comfortable?

They've seen fuck all. Baffled. They've done it all. They can't find it. I'm absolutely fucked. I'll never get rid of it. Never. I have nightmares twice a week over this. If you saw me you'd think I was so happy and confident. This shit will taunt me until the day I die.

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JellyBeanFactory · 21/04/2023 20:44

Honestly, there is very little that Drs haven't seen or read about. Or even it's completely new to them, they will be interested and wanting to help you. Don't feel embarrassed or humiliated, seek out support for both the ailment you Ave and for your mental health. Be kind to yourself and take good care.

Titsywoo · 21/04/2023 20:44

Sorry this has happened to you. Is it affecting your day to day life (pain etc) or just something you are struggling with mentally? I also have long term damage from something sexual (this is internal damage from an STI over 10 years ago) and it does cause me problems (awaiting a big operation at the moment). I do try not to blame myself - shit happens and there is no point dwelling on what might have been. How much does this (or will this) alter your life?

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 20:45

GPs, triage nurses, gynaecologists, MRIs, consultants, bowel specialists, you name it. Colonoscopies, Sigmoidoscopies. They just shrug their shoulders and tell me what the car park code is. Fuck off home, you're imagining it...

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QueenSmartypants · 21/04/2023 20:51

from when I was young, wild and completely fucking STUPID. Nobody will ever experience this but me.

You were young and carefree. Stop blaming yourself - I swear, you never hear men shaming themselves for their sexual activity when they were young and irresponsible. For them, it's "sowing their wild oats" 🙄

Obviously we don't know what your medical problem is but try and seperate it out from your youthful sex life. Something happened to you which you will always have to life with, whether it was because of actions you did or not it doesn't make you at fault.

Whatever you did, from what you've said, no amount of sex education in the world would have prepared you or warned you for the resulting consequence. So give yourself a break- it sounds as if things are very much hard enough without adding in am unhealthy dose of self-flaggelation.

Life altering diagnoses are so tough and I am so sorry for what it is you are going through. Give yourself time to get your head around the diagnosis and consider some therapy. Even the basic NHS therapists offered by your local gp district will have specialists who are trained to help people come to terms with such things (surprising but true).

And your injury may be something of a unicorn but there will be others who suffer in similar ways, from different causes. You're not alone and don't need to feel humiliated.

ImaniMumsnet · 21/04/2023 20:55

Evening.
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ Flowers

Mental Health Webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to mental health support. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 21:35

I used to love sex. Especially when it was loving. I fucking hate it now. I hate sex. It has absolutely ruined my life.

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Topee · 21/04/2023 21:48

I’m sorry you’re feeling so sad and obviously alone in this. Do you have someone you can speak to about it.

You could always post her but I understand why you may not want to.

Topee · 21/04/2023 21:48

Here*

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 21:57

Topee · 21/04/2023 21:48

I’m sorry you’re feeling so sad and obviously alone in this. Do you have someone you can speak to about it.

You could always post her but I understand why you may not want to.

Yes I do. My lovely Mum. I have friends but I don't want to talk about it. It's just so terrible they wouldn't know what to say. I know they love me but there's nothing they could say that would make me feel better. I don't really find peace in sharing my problems I find peace in having a laugh and seeing friends and acting the fool. To have the crack with my friends is better therapy for me than they will ever know. To just forget about it for a bit. They just take my mind off it. But I am in emotional pain and distress. ALL the time. Every day.

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Cantstandsmugness · 21/04/2023 22:07

What are you frightened of? Is it someone? Or is it post traumatic stress if so you can get help for that.

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 22:09

Cantstandsmugness · 21/04/2023 22:07

What are you frightened of? Is it someone? Or is it post traumatic stress if so you can get help for that.

I'm frightened that it will get worse and become a social problem

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Hoppy4464 · 21/04/2023 22:31

You really sound like you need some one to talk to, no judgements, just someone to listen to you. Don't be ashamed. If you need to talk do, please don't bottle it up, talking does help. Whether its anonymously on a chat, by inboxing someone or getting help from support services.

OhComeOn123 · 21/04/2023 22:38

I feel like a downtrodden, lonely freak. Nobody wants to be dealing with this fucking TRUST me. There is no support for this. Just a bunch of people secretly thinking... "jeez thank fuck that isn't me"

I don't blame them. This is the ugliest piece of jewellery I've ever been burdened with. Unfortunately I cannot take it off

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