Dealing with partner’s IBS

vincettenoir · 2023-03-27T16:29:08+00:00

My dh has had I ibs on and off over the years. His job is stressful which I think doesn’t help. He doesn’t seem to know what his all his triggers are or avoid the triggers he is aware of. We only have one bathroom for the family and it is becoming more of a struggle with him spending so much time in it at inopportune times of the day. I know I should be more understanding because it’s obviously not fun for him but I’m getting fed up at the moment to be honest. Has anyone got any tips for me RE having more sympathy and sharing a bathroom with an IBS sufferer. Or tips for him on getting on top of his triggers to spend less time in the bathroom? Thanks

bilbodog · 27/03/2023 17:30

Is there any way you could add a second toilet?

Original poster

vincettenoir · 27/03/2023 17:32

That would be the best solution but no we can’t afford to extend right now and won’t be able to in the near future (without a win on the scratchies).

OP posts:

quietnightmare · 27/03/2023 17:38

Typical mumsnet to suggest adding another toilet

Back to the real world

Could he keep a good diary and then timings if when he needs the toilet? Especially spicy foods, garlic etc have a look at common triggers online

Get him to eat something that's got bright colouring and then see how long after that takes to come out so you can get a rough idea the speed of his digestion so you can start planning around it

Has he tried any tablets for IBS? Plenty over the counter ones?

How much water does he drink?

If it's stress induced then he needs to practice self care, lavender in each room, good sleep, good bedroom routine, practise mindfulness, meditation, breathing exercise, yoga, herbal remedies like 'kalms' and chamomile.

LondonLovie · 27/03/2023 17:40

I can only sympathise. My DH has it and even though we do have 2 loos it's not always easy! The smell, the time spent on the loo and it reeks havoc with our meal planning, time he has off sick and eating out.

Anyway, that doesn't help otherwise than to say sorry to hear you/ him have this and I know how challenging it can be.

mummyh2016 · 27/03/2023 17:40

My DH is worse when it's a change of routine, in the week he has set times he needs the bathroom for which we work around. What triggers your DH?

Original poster

vincettenoir · 27/03/2023 17:51

He takes expensive pro biotics but I don’t think they have made any improvement tbh. Although perhaps it takes time. Certain drinks and melted cheese seem to trigger him but even when he does avoid those he still regularly has symptoms.

OP posts:

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 27/03/2023 18:40

Has a specialist actually diagnosed him? Dd was fobbed off for years. Eventually got told it is Chrone's...

Original poster

vincettenoir · 27/03/2023 18:54

No @Bunnyhascovidnoteggs the IBS diagnosis was from the GP. He has never seen a Specialist or had a colonoscopy. I’ll encourage him to think about that.

OP posts:

Newname10 · 04/04/2023 22:43

Anti-depressants for IBS changed my life! I had a terrible episode for about a year (was tested for IBD etc) and it turned out my IBS was a symptom of undiagnosed PTSD. If his stressful job also isn’t the only stress in his life, this might be an avenue to go down. I was housebound before and within 3 weeks had completely manageable symptoms. I also think Boots own brand probiotics are the best I’ve tried (and I’ve tried many).

Namechangingagain111 · 04/04/2023 23:13

I got diagnosed with IBS over 30 years ago and I'm convinced that a lot of time GPs say it's IBS just because they can't quite work out what the issue it.
If he thinks you're getting annoyed with him, he'll get stressed and it will get worse.
Probiotics did nothing for me, although antibiotics make it much worse (so in theory probiotics should help)
Being off work helps me but that's clearly not a long term solution !

DahliaRose3 · 04/04/2023 23:47

I think you need to be more understanding. I have severe IBS, manageable only with antidepressants and generally a low fodmap diet. Stress exacerbates it. Some days nothing helps. I hate it with a passion & wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

He needs to see a specialist to rule out other issues; don’t let the GP fob him off - this happened to me for YEARS & I had to go private in the end. They’re likely to say it’s IbS, but unless he has proper tests/investigations they won’t know for sure.

I’m sorry but you can’t possibly imagine what it’s like having to be glued to the loo & having your life revolve around the toilet. It’s absolutely horrendous.

You’re fed up, imagine him - poor guy. As someone else mentioned it may be Chrohn’s. Once it’s manageable things should get better at home, but you could also consider selling up for a place with more toilets; especially given your attitude.

notangelinajolie · 05/04/2023 00:05

Get a proper diagnosis. It took me 20 years to get one. IBS, stomach migraine, anxiety were all thrown at me until a CT scan gave me the answer. Diverticulitis.

wobbledobbleflobble2 · 05/04/2023 14:50

"He doesn't seem to know what all his triggers are."

Well, no. Neither would you, I suspect.

Is that all IBS is, just figuring out what your "triggers" are and then avoiding them? Why doesn't your husband just do that then?

Spyrothedragon23 · 05/04/2023 17:42

IBS sufferer here, I got so fed up I had a private allergy / intolerance test done. It suggested a milk and whey intolerance and since cutting it out I have been loads better. I know someone don’t agree with them but it’s made my IBS loads better.

If cheese is affecting your DH I would suggest cutting out milk and cheese (whey) and see if it makes a difference.

SnoogyWoo · 06/04/2023 08:41

Cut out processed food and eat as simply as possible for a while.

GG1986 · 09/06/2023 11:23

DahliaRose3 · 04/04/2023 23:47

I think you need to be more understanding. I have severe IBS, manageable only with antidepressants and generally a low fodmap diet. Stress exacerbates it. Some days nothing helps. I hate it with a passion & wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

He needs to see a specialist to rule out other issues; don’t let the GP fob him off - this happened to me for YEARS & I had to go private in the end. They’re likely to say it’s IbS, but unless he has proper tests/investigations they won’t know for sure.

I’m sorry but you can’t possibly imagine what it’s like having to be glued to the loo & having your life revolve around the toilet. It’s absolutely horrendous.

You’re fed up, imagine him - poor guy. As someone else mentioned it may be Chrohn’s. Once it’s manageable things should get better at home, but you could also consider selling up for a place with more toilets; especially given your attitude.

Hi. May I ask what anti depressants the Dr gave you?

GG1986 · 09/06/2023 11:24

Newname10 · 04/04/2023 22:43

Anti-depressants for IBS changed my life! I had a terrible episode for about a year (was tested for IBD etc) and it turned out my IBS was a symptom of undiagnosed PTSD. If his stressful job also isn’t the only stress in his life, this might be an avenue to go down. I was housebound before and within 3 weeks had completely manageable symptoms. I also think Boots own brand probiotics are the best I’ve tried (and I’ve tried many).

Hi may I ask what anti depressants the Dr gave you? Thanks

Theredfolder · 09/06/2023 12:58

GG1986 · 09/06/2023 11:23

Hi. May I ask what anti depressants the Dr gave you?

Show quote history

I’d really love to know too. I have had IBS for 25 years and it’s so bad right now. I have literally thrown everything at this with very little success but I haven’t really tried antidepressants other than a very low dose of Nortriptyline which I only started last week.