I think im an accidental alcoholic....

[CanYouAdviseMe]

Ive wanted to post this for so long.

I never considered I may have a problem but they say when something is preventing you from functioning then it has become a problem.

I think I drink too much. Every morning I wake up and im 100% sure I wont drink tonight.

I dont like feeling drunk, being drunk or drinking. I dont like the taste of it or the smell of it, I dont like the out of control feeling that you get with being drunk.

I am overweight but I eat very healthily. I know its the drink making me overweight. Im ill most of the time and generally run down.

I dont get wasted. Im always capable. Yet, every night as soon as I get in from work I have a glass of wine. I dont know why, I cant even stand the taste. Then one becomes another and before I know it, im too tired to function. I can easily drink a bottle a night and do, most nights.

I dont sleep well, wake up feeling awful. When i've had a drink yet again I feel disgusted with myself...and much like "I cannot believe I did this again.

Im confused and dont know how to stop this. I thought alcoholics liked getting drunk...I dont like to, dont want to and dont mean to.

Im at the end of my tether..I really need some help.

have you tried stopping?

i felt somewhat similar recently - like i don't feel like drinking, don't have a good reason to drink, but will find myself not being able to say no each night...i went to an nlp session and i feel much better. haven't really had a drink since

I have tried, but there's this urge for something.....it chips away at me. I feel like I need to relax, ive been so stressed all day etc.

It can be a vicious circle can't it - if you feel you're so tired, can't relax, so stressed, etc., and we're so used to thinking of a drink as the answer. Then of course you feel worse the next day (physically and mentally) and it's harder to be "strong". I used to feel like this about smoking - I only smoked a few a day but found it very hard to stop as I associated it with 'me time', and also smoked when I felt anxious/ emotional. It took me a while to realise that smoking was just making it all worse - that because I hated myself for doing it, it made me feel like I had no self-control, was a weak person, etc and therefore I felt like I might as well have a cig because I was such a crap person anyway, what difference would it make! It was very hard to see it as an addiction as I never really felt I needed it - it was just something that it was sometimes too much effort not to do, IYSWIM.

Not sure if this is what is happening to you but just wondered... I know stopping smoking is a bit different as most people want to stop smoking completely, for ever, whereas (I think) most people want to be able to have a drink now and again. So it's harder as you can't just say 'Right that's it, I'm never drinking again'. But as expatinscotland says, just trying to stop (even if only for one day) might be the key. If you do this, and can see that you are not hopelessly addicted but maybe do have a choice, it might be easier to say for example "OK, I'm only going to drink at the weekend" or whatever other cutting-down strategy helps you.

The other thing that really helped me was exercise. I slept better, felt better for the social interaction of going to classes, or just for getting out of the house/ away from my desk for a walk round the block. Not only did this make me feel better about myself - 'I'm doing something positive for my health' - it seemed to have a weird effect on my self-control. It was much easier to not smoke, drink less, eat properly etc. Strange but true. It was also a (crucial) change in the routine - it's so much harder to just cut something out if you don't have something to replace it with.

Hope you find something that works for you. Xx

possibly just a concerted effort to change your habits may do the trick - so that you set up something else healthier than a bottle of wine you can do for when you get in from work that still feels like treating yourself. trashy magazine? nice smoothie drink? whatever floats your boat really... or even non-alcoholic drinks?

would a bottle of wine a night mean it would be more advisable to cut down gradually anyone know?

Among the other reasons for drinking too much, there might also be a reason connected to diet. I'm a bit of a carbs and sugar junkie and I think that for a long time this was giving me a sugar dip that I experienced as a craving for alcohol, and I would always want to drink at the same time of day -- early evening.

When I went onto a low GI diet the craving almost disappeared.

Of course that is only one possible factor, but since you emphasised not actually enjoying any aspect of drinking too much I wondered whether it might be part of it. It might be worth looking at a low GI diet when you try to cut out the alcohol, just in case it's a factor.

I will admit to a tendency to do this if I'm not careful. But I do enjoy the taste - if I didn't I don't think I would bother. But I keep things under control by never drinking on certain nights of the week - at least 4 nights. And when I do it's a bottle of wine shared with DH so I never have more than a certain amt. I think that sometimes I still go over the recommended units but not often. Making rules is the best way for me to cope with it. I have thought of giving up completely but wine is a great pleasure and something I really look forward to, so I'd prefer to try to keep it controlled rather than give it up. But we'll see.

How about just postponing that first glass of wine? Just by half an hour, an hour, whatever makes you comfortable. Don't worry about the rest of the evening for the moment. How does that idea strike you? if you can manage it, keep doing it for a couple of weeks until its comfortable then put back the time again. It will take time to change your habits.

If that is something that you find too difficult then perhaps you might consider if you are ready to get some external help - your gp or an external organisation.

The main thing is not to beat yourself up about it but to look forward to the future when you will feel healthier, happier and richer!

I agree with threadworm about the sugar thing. When I cut right down on sugar to lose weight, most wine tastes pretty vile - too sweet. And I lose the desire for it.

I can relate to certain things to say, especially (a) the anticipation of the first drink after a long day at work and (b) finding it hard to stop once a bottle of wine is open (it's oh-so easy to pour yourself just another glass...) As with you, not a real cause for concern but more a worry about why I need to do it.

I have, however, cut back quite a bit this year. I imagine people on here will have much smarter ideas, but from a practical perspective, these things worked for me.

Firstly, don't drink wine. Once a bottle is opened it's really very hard not to pour yourself another glass. try not to have it in the house unless you need it (e.g. people coming round for dinner).

Secondly, drink something alcoholic which you quite like but not particularly. If you can live with say, lager, but don't really enjoy it as much as wine then keep that at hand.

Thirdly, mix up the alcoholic with non-alcoholic drinks. In my case, rather than drinking wine, I drink bottles of Becks which you can get in alcohol and alcohol free - you can have a 2-4 bottles a night which ends up equating to only 1-2 bottles of lager (about one pint). This gives you the 'volume' you get used to over the course of an evening.

Fourthly, allow yourself an additional 'treat' in the evening. Low fat chocolate ice cream for example, but something which 'rewards' you for another long at work. Not sure if the pyschology makes any sense but I think if you give yourself a 'reward' of another kind, perhaps you don't feel obliged to give yourself that glass of wine as a treat.

Hope it helps.

There is a thread in the Health topic section that may be an idea to post on.Sorry I have never tried doing a link, but its basically for people who think they have a problem with alcohol. Posters come from all over the drinking spectrum.
Just an idea

Agree with Teasle - go to Health section. I have been posting on there with similar issues for a few months. Things better for me this year but the intense craving stil there some days. having a bad one today.

agree with postponing the first glass. Make yourself a glass of fizzy elderflower or something and sit down with a saucerful of nuts. got your treat but bottle is not opened.

What about making sure there is no wine in the house? I know that, if I have a bottle in the fridge, sooner or later, it will be opened.

If I don't have it in the house, I don't drink and I don't miss it. I think it's the easy availability and I do enjoy the taste of wine. I do not drink during the week though. It's only at weekends and normally when I'm cooking!

your post could be me!!!!

i felt JUST the same and was becoming quite worried about myself just before xmas, in the last few weeks i have tried very hard to change my habits, ie. cooking the kind of meals that can be left to cook themselves so that instead of staying in the kitchen and having wine, i go and do something else instead, like some housework, i have found that i have lost a lot of weight almost immediatly, my home looks much fresher and less cluttered, my skin looks great and i sleep properly.

try to change your habits for a couple of weeks and see how you get on - if you still feel a real urge to drink then maybe you will need help, however, i'm willing to bet that a simple change in the way you spend your evenings will do the trick

sorry for long post, but yours rang such a bell i could'nt ignore it

I've made a rule since teh start of the year that I won't start drinking till 9.00pm on weekdays, and that has worked really well, just a glass of wine a night, as I go to bed at 10.00. At the weekends I have wine with dinner. I have lost some weight, and like waking up feeling good instead of hungover.