Hi lovely, first of all I empathise with you massively and until someone has been in the exact position you are in, they have no idea of the inner turmoil you are experiencing.
I did not go ahead with the scan, but If i had a feeling or any strong symptoms indicating there was a PE I would have strongly considered it.
There is so much pressure surrounding the VQ scan and I can understand that if there is a PE it can be fatal. But I was told "what is a little radiation if you and your baby are dead", well this obviously sent me into a spin and are words that will forever shock me that came from a senior ward nurse.
I had chats with heads of radiology and nuclear medicine, I researched for hours and just decided that I didn't believe my symptoms were related. I also was being treated as if i had it so carried on with the treatment for a little while then stopped.
But the fact you had it done has cleared up the "what if" that I carried round for months and months. And that in itself was terrifying. Either way, it feels like a double-ended sword.
Please please please do not beat yourself up, i have actually spoken to so so many people that have had it done and have kids that are nearly in their 20's! You were in a horrible situation and did what you believed best and that is all you can do.
Apparently living in cornwall for 1 year is the same amount of radiation as VQ scan (so i was told!).
You were put in an impossible situation, please go easy on yourself.
There are things you can do that help radiation pass through your system and detox, staying active, turmeric, seaweed, or seamoss gel, shiitake and reishi mushrooms and organic raisins.
I know how you feel and it sucks, but it will pass. When you have your beautiful baby girl in your arms and your little boy is meeting her for the first time, this will all be a memory.
Honestly thinking of you
Xxxx