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Original poster

Bad experience with health put me off, anyone else?

26 replies

OneFrenchEgg · 07/03/2023 08:21

Just thinking about what I could do instead (maybe look at private mammograms? What age do they do them? I'm fifty)
A couple years ago I had a lumpy boob investigated, maybe twice within a few years? Same side. Second time the consultant treated me like a stupid weirdo. Came in and was like you've been here before, checked my notes, told me it was my rib - then realised it wasn't and put a chip in it instead during mammogram. Told me not to see the follow up doctor and sent me home saying they'd let me know if it was an issue. The whole experience was so humiliating and embarrassing.
The same side is now sore and has a lump. What I don't get is we are told to get checked out, but also to know our boobs.
I can't ever go there again so does anyone know when to worry about a change - I know the signs but how long could I wait? And then maybe look at speaking to my GP about alternatives?

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 07/03/2023 08:36

Was this at a breast clinic? I was investigated last year after a mammogram and they were amazing - all women & very reassuring.
Any lumps should be investigated and there is the private option.

Southstand · 07/03/2023 08:40

You got an arse of a doctor but don't let that be the death of you. Woman up and go to the Breast clinic - there's no way of telling if your symptoms are benign. If you have a similar experience this time, make a complaint.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 07/03/2023 08:44

It was at the main hospital so I guess the breast clinic? Ultrasound, mammogram, physical check?

Just honestly I'm usually quite assertive with health but this was so humiliating like I was wasting their time to get my boobs felt. And being half naked is horrible.

OP posts:
Southstand · 07/03/2023 08:53

OneFrenchEgg - he's may not even work there anymore. I'm so annoyed you had that experience -I've been twice to the Breast clinic and they said they'd rather check things out and were lovely. Definitely take no shit - I appreciate that you normally don't but obviously when you're stressed and vulnerable, you aren't at the height of your superpowers.
Wishing you the best of luck with your check wherever you go.

Southstand · 07/03/2023 08:53

You are not wasting their time and they are utterly wrong to make you feel that.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 07/03/2023 09:12

Thank you, it was a woman which was almost worse. Just the whole thing was awful and I still cringe about it now.
Like 'you know what that is don't you?' And I said 'oh you're going to tell me it's a rib?' And then it wasn't, but it was just hideous.
It's really hard getting a GP appointment as well, so talking to them requires a lot of effort. I might look at private stuff although we are tight each month.

OP posts:
Southstand · 07/03/2023 09:26

💐💐 I had two lovely (male) consultants. I usually tell the GP receptionist that I need a breast lump checked - not perfect I know but it helps them prioritise. Please, please don't let her behaviour put you off going or to delay because you don't have cash ready for private. I'd tell my GP about my previous experience at the Breast clinic too if I'd had your experience.

If that's how they are engaging with women, then they need to do better.

Southstand · 07/03/2023 09:28

I've had a whole range of medical awkwardness from falling off raised smear test tables to putting on medical gowns the wrong way around. I've had rude medical professionals too. It really doesn't help 💐

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 07/03/2023 09:30

Shockfalling off
I hadn't really thought about telling my GP in any detail. I wonder if i wait a week and then try.

OP posts:
Southstand · 07/03/2023 09:31

Also theoretically you might wind up with the same consultant in a private setting as they usually work in the NHS too.

Southstand · 07/03/2023 09:32

I forgot it was raised 😂🤣 - the dismount was not graceful.

Southstand · 07/03/2023 09:33

The medical gown I had tied at the front like a wrap dress 😂

daisypond · 07/03/2023 09:34

Well, I had horrendous times with a very dismissive and patronising consultant, who said my symptoms were nothing, wrote to my GP that my pain was muscular, didn’t offer me any sort of scan. In fact, I had invasive breast cancer all over with multiple tumours.

daisypond · 07/03/2023 09:43

Meant to add, my treatment and diagnosis was absolutely chaotic and mismanaged -there was no system at all. I assumed things were happening when they hadn’t even been booked. Wrong notes, outright lies/mistakes on medical documents, the wrong treatment, wrong scans. No one listened to me. At one point they were going to remove the wrong breast… The whole terrible experience has given me PTSD. I have no faith in the medical establishment at all now, I am so traumatised. I never had much to do with doctors before this.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 07/03/2023 10:48

Omg daisy i am so sorry that happened to you. Are you doing ok now? It's awful to feel small and stupid around this when you are so vulnerable.

@Southstand 'dismount' how embarrassing

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 07/03/2023 12:47

Gosh I've only had the most lovely nurses giving me mammograms - gentle, explain exactly what they are doing etc. This is at a main hospital.
You must get yourself checked out.
This last week I had to take my daughter to A&E and I did think the doc was dismissive. But to give him credit he did refer her for an MRI and luckily she got one the next day due to a cancellation. Of all the doctors we saw over the next few days he still stands out as patronising and borderline rude, but the others have been nothing but terrific, in what has turned out to be a devastating journey (I know you know me from another thread - she has just been diagnosed with MS at 17).
Don't let one idiot doctor put you off getting the care you need.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 07/03/2023 15:17

Ah monday thank you and yes awful at such a young age. I don't know why this has thrown me so much. I still think about it and feel so ashamed.

OP posts:
OnGoldenPond · 07/03/2023 19:59

Southstand · 07/03/2023 09:31

Also theoretically you might wind up with the same consultant in a private setting as they usually work in the NHS too.

In a private setting you choose the consultant that you make an appointment with so this wouldn't happen

Southstand · 08/03/2023 06:46

OnGoldenPond · 07/03/2023 19:59

In a private setting you choose the consultant that you make an appointment with so this wouldn't happen

Show quote history

I meant in terms of availability - I thought about going privately in my area for a breast lump check due to the waiting time here and the consultant available at that time happened to be the one I saw in the NHS before but he was the only one available unless I travelled further afield.

Of course the OP might be in the area with more choice...

Southstand · 08/03/2023 06:47

OneFrenchEgg · 07/03/2023 15:17

Ah monday thank you and yes awful at such a young age. I don't know why this has thrown me so much. I still think about it and feel so ashamed.

You've done nothing wrong OP. 💐

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 08/03/2023 06:49

Well I have a call booked for something else (kids) so I might briefly raise it - maybe they could let me do that choice thing? Where you pick where to be seen?

OP posts:
Southstand · 08/03/2023 06:50

daisypond I'm so sorry to hear this, how awful.

I had really poor maternity care from the hospital midwives. I was vulnerable at the time and have never forgotten how lost I felt.

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 29/04/2023 11:20

Update - I have managed to tell the GP in a call about how the experience and the whole thing is so stressful. Lumpy bits still there and new one other side so I've got an appointment booked where they will check and help decide 'baseline boobs' v 'worrying boobs' which feels a lot more manageable - I don't know why as I've had several children etc but I just don't want to be naked or topless in front of people again.
So thank you for the nudge/encouragement people, it definitely made me make the call a few weeks ago.

OP posts:
SpudsandGravy · 29/04/2023 22:46

OneFrenchEgg · 29/04/2023 11:20

Update - I have managed to tell the GP in a call about how the experience and the whole thing is so stressful. Lumpy bits still there and new one other side so I've got an appointment booked where they will check and help decide 'baseline boobs' v 'worrying boobs' which feels a lot more manageable - I don't know why as I've had several children etc but I just don't want to be naked or topless in front of people again.
So thank you for the nudge/encouragement people, it definitely made me make the call a few weeks ago.

Glad to hear you're making some progress. I felt so angry for you when I read about your experience with that consultant. I had exactly the same experience with a male consultant, but it wasn't a breast thing - it was diverticular disease. In front of a whole load of students/other doctors he treated me as though I'd waited to be seen at the hospital all day for some kind of jolly. In fact I'd simply been to the GP for antibiotics for what I assumed was a UTI and the GP had sent me to the hospital when he detected blood in urine. Ugh... I'm going on about it because several years later it still makes my blood boil, and I'm still angry with myself for not speaking back to him. I would have done so had his extreme rudeness not taken my breath away. Anyway... I hope things will go better for you from now on Flowers

Original poster
OneFrenchEgg · 04/05/2023 22:13

Infuriating and humiliating when you do what they say and then someone else queries it or makes you feel like you shouldn't be there. Appointment tomorrow so hopefully some plan for managing my lumpiness and stress!

OP posts: