Dilemma withhold health info or not?

[WeakAsIAm]

DH has notable health anxiety, he can fixate on his own health and become very anxious.

He has been displaying some worrying signs whilst sleeping being aggressive/acting out aggression etc. we've tried to work out what was triggering this and thought we'd made some break throughs cutting out caffeine for example with some improvement.

There's been some research that suggests this behaviour is linked to developing dementia apple.news/A6NOh2eI5TTm4ZvbcgIZEJg

Here's my dilemma; do I point out this research to DH; it will spiral his health anxiety and there will probably not be any positives to take from showing him this research. It will definitely create me a lot time spent trying to reassure, answer the same multiple questions over and over again.

It's not something I'd look forward too and though I try to be sympathetic it does wear me down having to deal with his anxieties for long periods of time.

That said he has a right I know; I would want to know if I was in this situation and would not want to be treated like a child and 'protected' from the truth. He is my husband and I should show him some respect.

So do I show him what I've found or do I protect myself from having to deal with the fallout?

No. You’re not a doctor, do not even attempt to diagnose him or suggest a cause. I would not show him any of that.

I would encourage him to go and get a referral for a sleep study.

Good god no, absolutely not!

There really isn't any benefit to that, it could be lots of things. What makes you jump to dementia?

No, I wouldn't say anything. Firstly, this is a link to a news article, not the research itself. Was it peer reviewed, rigorously conducted etc? Secondly, there's a risk of falsely attributing correlation as causation... In other words, lots of different things can cause REM sleep disorders (not that you 100% know that this is what your DH has), and lots of things are thought to contribute towards developing dementia. I'd also clocked the news article states a 10 year gap between sleep disorder onset and developing overt symptoms of dementia.

Personally I'd be led by the (presumed) fact that you're not a professional who is qualified to diagnose these things, and it would therefore feel cruel to plant the idea in your DH's head when you know he has anxiety surrounding his health. If he's worried, head to the GP.

Meh, there was a big news story about how loss of smell preceded dementia. Very important sign, blardeblar. Promptly my step-mum mentions how my dad has lost all sense of smell.

8 yrs later my dad has no dementia. So glad I never mentioned that study to him.

But dementia is only one of several possible diagnoses; you have no idea what is wrong with him really. If he's showing worrying behaviour changes, please encourage him to see his GP (and go along to the appointment with him).

Yeah I think I just wasn't really sure who I was ignoring the article for?

I'm not going to lie I benefit from not telling him greatly.

How old is he?

45y, the 'sleep fighting' has been going on for around 3 years.

He has spoken to his GP about it last year (I wasn't at the appointment so not entirely convinced he gave all info). This really does sound like I baby him.

Was reassured by the GP was likely to be related to stress or medication (sertraline).

If you are concerned about Dementia at all I would discuss discussing getting both Health and Finance POAS with him first.

Is there anything else that would lead you to suspect Dementia?

If the GP thinks it might be stress or medication causing I don’t know what “sleep fighting” even is, let’s say it’s kicking and arms flailing while fast asleep.

Then why are you faffing about with caffeine? Have you even tried to reduce his stress or transition him off sertraline and onto something else that doesn’t have sleep disturbance as a possible side effect?

Id go back to GP. He needs a sleep study so professionals can see exactly what is happening while he is asleep.