6 yr old DS has suddenly become very anxious about his bowel movements and doesn't want to go to school

[citylover]

Have to be quick as am at work but am very worried about DS.

On a couple of occasions recently have been called by childminder and then school to say that DS2 has become tearful and distressed because he wants to go the loo but when he tries can't go. He is very very reluctant to use the school loo btw. Apparently they aren't very nice and the other kids hassle you.

The school let him use the staff toilet the other day (with no success)and said they thought he was constipated although he actually wasn't ie he had gone in the previous 24hrs and his tummy was very soft.

I kept him off yesterday and he was fine really and went to his football club as usual last night.

Come this morning he gets very distressed and is worried because he might need to go to the loo at school but 'nothing will come out'

Spoke to his teacher yesterday who says nothing else seems to be worrying him. Asked DS1 whether he thought anyone was bullying him at playtime - he said no.

Seems as though he has got out of sync with the time he goes for a poo and this is turning into a vicious cycle of anxiety/anticipation. And in a way the more an issue is made out of the worse it may get IMO

Have made GP appt for next week to rule out anything physical but in the meantime not sure what to do how to help him. It was heartbreaking to leave him in distress this morning.

Have also asked the school to look out for him at playtime.

He is 6 BTW.

maybe it could be as simple as he had trouble having a poo at school, and now he associates this with school and not being able to go to the toilet?

yes I think you are probably right but the question is how to break the cycle because he really doesn't want to go to school at the moment.

It's is quite hard to quell anxiety in a 6 year old as clearly is his mind it's a really big deal.

yes i understand, i have a anxious 8 year old myself, sounds silly, but hows about giving him his own packs of tissues and a travel size hand gel tow ash his hands with, sounds bizzare i know, but maybe it might make him feel more in controla s he has things from home with him? or am i a complete nutta

My DS6 had similar problem a year ago. Has a history of constipation and so would rather only go at home. I would concentrate on getting him to go at home. He needs to sit for a while in the morning and at night. What worked with my DS was bribery. We bought 1/2 dozen cheap action figures and he got one each time he did a poo. Also keep up his fluid and fibre intake. Any fruit/veges with skin on are good (like peas, grapes, broccoli) as well as higher fibre bread and cereals. This will hopefully help with the physical issue, but sounds like you may need to keep an eye on him to see if there is another cause. If your DS is like mine, you get very little info about what happens at school, unlike my DD who tells me every tiny detail.

having worked in schools children are a bit well erm... childish about poop maybe they said they can smell his poop or something?? something not meant as nasty just silly can really upset a young child ....its almost half term enough time to try and get his poops in order and to reassure him .....my eldest son whose 14 recently confided having a poop in secondary school is awful so he tries not to go because they get teased all day!!!!and these are supposedly young men

What's worked for my DS2 (6) is allowing extra time in the morning and sending him to the loo with a book as soon as he's finished his breakfast. He's gone from doing 1 huge poo a couple of times a week, and loads of filthy undies in between, to doing a poo every morning before school. He's so much more comfortable and much happier. I think lots of children don't like using the school loos - just as lots of adults don't like pooing in the loo at work!

Thanks all - well I haven't heard from the school yet so hope today has been better for him.

The weird thing is until recently he has been as regular as clockwork.

Getting him up earlier in the morning is a good idea.

Just hope over the half term it rectifies itself - he is going on holiday with ex H and his new DP though so that could be stressful for him.