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Original poster

Dh is having a vasectomy tomorrow and I am having a wobble about it - reassure me please...

15 replies

wilbur · 05/02/2008 10:56

Dh is finally getting the snip tomorrow (been waiting for appointment for a year). Most of me is very pleased as it will make things much easier for us. But, But. Why am I suddenly panicking about it? I have this mad fear that if I don't have the option to have more children, then something bad will happen to the ones I have. Am I mad? I will be 40 this year, I don't want any more children (3 is enough ), I hate my current contraception and this is utterly the best option for us.

Can someone just tell me good stories about vasectomies, that dh will still want to have sex, and that I should calm down.

OP posts:

boomie · 05/02/2008 10:58

I felt exactly the same as you. DH had his op a few weeks ago and I suddenly really panicked about it when the day came. However, it was definitely the right thing to do. Everything went really well, he still wants to have sex and you should calm down

Fimbo · 05/02/2008 11:02

Calm down .

Dh had has done about 18 months ago. He said there was nothing to it (and this is from a manflu type person). I can't drive and rather than fork out on a taxi he hopped on the bus home afterwards, then he went to pick up my dd from school. He has some bruising and sat with a bag of peas on his bits for most of the weekend (op was on a Friday) mainly to protect himself from ds launching at him. He was back at work on the Monday.

The first few times afterwards you do feel jittery hoping it has worked but that soon goes away. We have kept the consultants letter confirming the v's success though!

The funniest bit is trying to get the ahem fluid into the tub for testing. I let dh get on with that job - he then had to drive to the hospital lab and deliver it into a special chute - he couldn't find it the first time and had to ask a security guard and got that "knowing" look.

The freedom is fab.

HTH

Original poster

wilbur · 05/02/2008 11:05

ROFL at your dh having to find the special chute. How long did it take before you got the all clear?

Glad to hear your dh's op went well boomie - my dh has been gloomily emailing me horror stories from blokes on his biking website.

OP posts:

Nbg · 05/02/2008 11:10

My dh had his done 4 weeks ago and was fine.
FWIW, I felt that panicky feeling too and I definately do not want more children.
I think its just the thought that wow this is final iykwim.

I joked with dh the night he had it done and asked him if he fancied some.
He said yes! (we didnt though lol)

boomie · 05/02/2008 11:11

Yes, DH heard plenty of horror stories too!! He was dreading it (never had an op in his life) but he said it was a breeze. He has got to take his first sample in on Valentines Day - how romantic

BibiThree · 05/02/2008 11:12

I agree the freedom is fabulous. Dh got "done" in October, but I have had a major case of the wobbles since then.

Our dd is 3 and the dts are 6m so i'm frazzled and really couldn't cope with more children, but I can't get my biological clock to understand that. I know we did it for the best of reasons, but there will always be a tiny part of me that longs for another baby

I know many, many people who have had it done with no probs whatsoever. But dh was unlucky enough to be one of the minority that gets complications. He had 3 weeks off work in the end, could barely walk, his bits went black and about the size of a honey dew melon, he had post-op bleeding and an infection. He was v poorly bless him, but v brave. He has told me since that he didn't moan or complain because he knew I'd been through worse with the c-sections!

Good luck and get some ear plugs to block the sound of your ovaries clanging together!

Fimbo · 05/02/2008 11:14

2 samples were tested, I can't remember exactly how far apart they were. We got the all clear a few weeks after.

I would say probably about 8 weeks after the op.

BibiThree · 05/02/2008 11:16

Dh had to give 2 samples, one at 12 weeks post op and one at 16 weeks. Took about a week to get the results afterwards. The Dr also told him he should have about 3 ejaculations a week after the op to get rid of any stored up sperm before his first test.

Original poster

wilbur · 05/02/2008 11:43

Thanks so much for all this. Bibi - ouch for your poor dh. I think you're right, there will always be a bit of me that longs for another pregnancy and tiny baby (although ds2 is doing a good job at the moment of reminding me that I don't want another toddler!). It's not helped by the fact that a very close friend is in labour as we type... I shall just have to borrow her baby.

OP posts:

BibiThree · 05/02/2008 11:55

I should stress dh's case was an extreme and rare one - I am also going to have to make do with pestering other people to borrow their babies in years to come. No sleepless nights when you borrow either!

All the best.

flack · 05/02/2008 11:58

DH is having his op this afternoon (about 90 minutes away, in fact!).
Do you think he feel okay to walk a mile home afterwards? I would have thought so, but I think he's quietly panicking. We wouldn't normally bother to drive such a short distance, weather is fine, etc.

kamsmum · 05/02/2008 12:15

I would take the car. He will probably be fine but you never know!
I remember waiting for my DH to come out after his op and being a bit amused at the speed with which men want to get away from the place! He was just the same when he came out. I think it was just the indignity of it all. Bless!

Bibithree, I know just what you mean about the clanging ovaries!

summer111 · 05/02/2008 16:10

flack, I think a mile walk is a big ask if you don't mind me saying but I hope it all went well for your DH.

DH had his op a month ago and aside from a tiny bit of bruising and him walking like John Wayne for the first couple of days, he was fine. In fact, he came home and cooked the dinner that evening!
This all coming from the man who faints at the whiff of disinfectant. He had the op on a Thursday and was back to work on the Monday. The worst bit was the itch as his pubes grew back
Re his interest in sex, he was thrilled when he had an erection the day after the op and aside from the scratchy pubes, it hasn't in any way shape or form, interferred with our luuuuuv making!!!

flack · 06/02/2008 06:14

A mile is only a 20 minute stroll, I'm sure DH could have done it physically but psychologically he was in no state, lol. I suppose I should admire his resolve and determination to have the op, considering how terrified he was... anyway, he insisted on being babied and pampered and had to be driven. Not that he was much pampered. I was busy with kids, school run, making pancakes and swimming lesson so didn't even get to make him a cup of tea afterwards.

And he's fine, now that he's getting over the mental trauma. Post-op the only pain relief he has felt need to resort to was a Bailey's. Hasn't even looked at the frozen peas he insisted I stop & buy him on the way home. I couldn't tactfully tell DH, especially since he couldn't think straight at the time anyway, that he's the least sensitive in the nether regions of any bloke I've been intimate with... so I knew he'd be fine.

The next bloke in line to get snipped looked equally green about the gills, heehehe...

summer111 · 06/02/2008 16:29

Nice one flack!!!

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