For those in their 50s, how do you stop worrying about your health?

[ssd]

I mean, how do you stop worrying about every little ache and pain being something terrifying?

All i hear is people my age being diagnosed with health issues none of us want.

I try to keep healthy, dont smoke or drink, need to loose weight though.

Nothing worrying in family history or mine really.

But i worry about my health getting worse an awful lot. And i see it happening to friends and colleagues all around me, as well as the endless news stories about celebrities with cancer, strokes or dying.

I want to live my life accepting the inevitable but not worrying about it constantly.

Please dont tell me worrying helps nothing, trust me i know this but it doesn't stop me.

Please tell me your secret if you aren't like me.

Thanks for replying.

I know i was unusual. I know its health anxiety. I've had CBT, counselling and medicine. Nothing has changed it. I've always worried but since mum died its much worse.
I think i have unresolved grief.

I'm so glad so many of you don't suffer from this. Its awful.

I feel I'm a big old mess of emotions needing unpicked and laid out in a straight normal line.

And that untangling feels impossible.

I am sorry you feel that way, I am lucky in that, before reading your thread, it has never occurred to me to worry about my health. I am mid 60s, I have high blood pressure and am overweight but to be honest I don't worry enough to do anything positive to get healthier. I know I won't live for ever but I enjoy my life and, as a PP said, I'm not interested in screenings etc.

I am also very conscious about how tedious it is to talk about your health, I had coffee with a group of women around my age recently and they all moaned endlessly about health issues. ... I came away feeling totally drained and annoyed at wasting a morning of my time!

I find it interesting that people say they don’t have screenings etc 😳 I find that really shocking to be honest. As someone who has lost so many people to having things diagnosed too late to do anything about it I think why on earth wouldn’t you want to send off a poo sample for bowel cancer / have a mammogram/ or any other sort of screening test. The treatment for things caught early is so much less invasive than if it’s caught too late.

My uncle in the USA had a routine bowel screening at 65 and they found he had pre cancerous polyps which were removed during the screening and he lived, cancer free for another 20 years. My Mum - who had a terrible medical phobia due to years of ill health and Crohn’s disease- refused all screenings etc and died 6 weeks after being diagnosed with the most raging bowel cancer that literally eventually caused her stomach to explode from the inside and she effectively bled to death. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy- and my Mum was my worst enemy. (Complicated).

I think screening tests etc are really important.

I tell myself 'I will deal with it if it comes up', try to make good choices and understand that even diseases with high prevalence are not universal and there is a really good chance I wont have it. Name your worries - this is health worry for example. If you name them, you don't have to engage with them in the same way.

I find exercise good for anxiety. Walking, swimming, cycling- ( all done v slowly in case you think I'm a highly fit person). Exercise classes are good too.

Control the things you can control. The rest is in the lap of the gods.

All the boring stuff we all know. Quit smoking. Get down to a healthy weight and maintain it. Take plenty of exercise. Even if you will never love it, it’s just got to be done. Drink moderately. Don’t sunbathe, ever. If work is stressing you out, consider making changes. If you’re on a consumerist treadmill, get off it.

I've been worrying about my health since my twenties! It never goes away unfortunately

Have you had bereavement counselling? Took me 2 years after my mothers death to realise I needed it.

I got diagnosed with a whole heap of shit (including multiple Sclerosis) in my 30's so I know longer give toss.

I think I'm finally at peace.

Take magnesium. It’s really common to be low on it during menopause and I can tell when I am low because I get massive anxiety, particularly around health.

The skin spray is particularly good

Starting hrt was a game changer for me as helped with all those little aches and pains in my bones and my brain fog also gone. I try not to worry too much as got sick of worrying about everything. Just go for your smear tests and breast checks and try to eat as good as you can and a little exercise and nothing else can really do as worrying won't help.

No !!×××

Can’t say that I ever really give it any thought, the women in my family seem relatively indestructible and live until their late 90s in pretty good health.

A friend of mine is completely the opposite. Any time she hears of somebody our age getting ill or dying I know it’ll lead to days worth of doom and gloom text messages and her making a doctors appointment just in case.

Avoiding screening is a type of health anxiety though.

Screenings make most people anxious, but better to face it - it doesn't take long for the results to come through.

Please tell me your secret if you aren't like me.

Whatever mental illness I have, it's not like yours OP. That's my only "secret".

As someone who is chronically ill, I think the answer is the same than you are actually ill.

You concentrate on the good things. What is bringing you some joy, making you smile. If you look carefully, there are many small events in the day we usually don’t take notice off that would actually make you smile if you noticed them.
You concentrate in the present moment. Anxiety thoughts are just that, thoughts with no bearing on the future. Because how could you possibly know what’s in the future? Realise that they are only that and treat them as such.
And imo when you look at things to do (exercise, diet etc….), you do them because they make you feel good. Now. Not out of fear for the future. Not because that’s what you ought to do. You go to that class dance because you enjoy dancing. You eat more vegs because you feel better in yourself, your anxiety is better etc…. Not to prevent something that might never happen and you have little control over anyway.

I had bereavement counselling. I take magnesium, I'm on hrt. I take various vitamins etc. I'm trying to cover all bases. It isn't enough. It chews me up. And i know its a complete and utter waste of these good years when i am healthy ( touch wood)...

I just want it away.

do you do anythign that brings you joy @ssd
anything fulfilling?
concentrate on that

I am 59 and I don't worry. I used to but then I think watching DH's journey taught me that all the worry in the world won't change anything for the better, it just makes life harder. DH bore his terminal diagnosis with great fortitude, he was amazing. If I am ever in his shoes I hope I have half his strength and resilience.

I eat well, don't smoke and barely drink. I have had weight loss surgery this year because at 57 I don't want to get any of the weight related illnesses that as a carer I have seen hugely incapacitate people.

I walk the dog twice a day, take vitamins, benecol, yakult and take full advantage of all screening.

I agree with @BeyondMyWits

Once you have a life threatening illness, you stop worrying

I think we are biologically programmed to keep ourselves alive, and while you feel there are actions you can take, it is a strong urge, and a source of anxiety.

But once there are no further actions I could take, I stopped worrying, don't feel anxious at all about death, and enjoy what time I have left without the anxiety

I'm mid 50s and never think about it... just crack on...

I agree, I had ovarian cancer 10 years ago. I don’t worry so much these days. Shit has already happened. 😂

I wish I knew! My health anxiety is off the scale & im on the waiting list for cbt.
I’ve always had it mildly but it’s got so much worse the past 6 months after having awful GI symptoms since Covid.
Even though I’ve been thoroughly investigated, things are still not quite right in my guts and everywhere you look there are stories of cancer being missed etc.
All I can suggest is some therapy or look on YouTube for ways to manage it through meditation etc.