It's not looking good.

[madmommy6]

Dh took our friend(C)to his hospital appointment last week.He had a central line fitted for chemo to start again on ths wednesday.
We took his wife(L) to get his meds today and she has told us the macmillan nurse has been today for the first time.He has been given more morphine for his pain,and has got to go for a bone scan.
I think up till now L hasn't asked to many questions because she didn't want to heard the answers.iykwim.But the macmillan nurse has told her she will find everything out for her if she wantsher too.So for the first time since this started i think L is at last relising she need to know.She told me that she is phoning her dd to say she can't have grandchildren any more at the moment.
We are trying to do everything we can for them but if there is anything anyone can think off that would help,please let me know.Dh does the hospital runs and we take L shopping.And if C is feeling up to it dh is taking him for a drive out tomorrow.

We lost a good friend (Pete) a couple of years ago and his wife says it was the support of friends that kept her going - and has continued to do so. She had lots of practical help re: MacMillan etc but it's having great friends like you that's the most important thing. Hang on in there - it's an emotional rollercoaster and it will have a long-lasting and profound effect on you, too.

I'm sorry about your loss.
Thanks for the nice words they give my the strength i need to support them both.
I'm trying to treat C the same has always but it is so hard when i see how he looks.I have told them both we will always be here for them.We only live 5mins away so can get to them quickly.We have been friends for about 6 years but now we are very close.

You keep treating him the same. One of the last things I ever did for Pete was get up early one morning and drive them both into London to see the Chelsea Flower Show - he'd bought the tickets before he even knew he was ill. He was Met Policeman so knew his way around London very well. We came up to a junction and he said I could either go one way which was slow or nip in the other side an cut across. I replied that I'd do the slow way and said something like 'Life's too short to go round cutting people up...' ...and of course then I was horrified at what I'd said as we knew he only had weeks to live. But he just grinned and said 'FGS - don't you start watching what you say or the rest of my life won't be worth living!'

So do your best to be normal. Pete's wife said one of the things he drew most comfort from (apart from knowing his family was well provided for financially) was knowing that friends like us and several others would be there to support them.

That brought tears to my eyes and a smile at the same time.
It such a shame that they haven't got life insurance or anything.Like most of us they thought it would never happen to them.One good thing is they live in a council house so they haven't got to worry about that. L has said she is worried about funeral fees and i really don't know what to say to her about that.Lifes so unfair

so sorry to hear about your friend, i can sort of understand some of what they are going throu, we are in a similar situation, the things that help us the most are people doing practicle things like shopping child care or just coming round or phoning for a natter, cancer is so isolating, the Mac nurses are a huge support.
do your friends have children?

madmommy6 - I wonder if she thinks it will be thousands? A basic funeral & cremation should only be about £1500 - £2000 and 'easy payment' terms are often available. If they are on benefits I believe they can get help with the cost. Still a lot of money to find for a lot of people though and propbably not something she wants to face up to yet. Maybe you could make a few enquiries for her?

madmommy6,what a lovely friend you are!

onlyjoking thank you for taking the time to post.I read you posts and think you are a great person.They do have children but they are grown up,the youngest is 22.They have had a hard few years.There Dd lost her dh while pregnant 2 years ago.Then C found out he had mouth cancer,which had spread to his lung.In the last 3 weeks things have gone down hill and the children didn't know how bad it was till last week.They hadn't told them hoping that they wouldn't have too.
fortyplus thanks for that info,i'll look into that for them,even if i don't want to.iykwim
FuriousGeorge thanks but i don't feel it,i wish there was something else i could do.One good thing is the 4 of us can talk openly and i hope to keep that up.

Then of course i come on here and let it all out.Thanks ladies.

C started his chemo again yesterday.Dh took him to hospital for 8.30am yesterday and he got home last night at 5.45pm
He is still conected to chemo(he has got it in a little bag)this will last till tommorrow.He is due back at the hospital again tommorrow,where he'll have another dose and come home with more to last till sunday.He is very weak and has been told this time he may get worse side affects.Dh is at their house at the moment and isn't answering his phone,so i'm abit worried.
I'm sat here wishing there was something else i could do but i have got ds here so i'm abit stuck.
So yet again mumsnet to the rescue.

C has now had two day stays in hospital for chemo, and come home both time with afew days surply going through his line.He has felt alot better,which is great.He even went for a drive with dh the other day.His feet and legs had swollen up but hospital think its just water.He went for a bone scan yesterday because he has had lots of pain and has got a lump on his chest bone.
I feel really guilty when i say i'm feeling worn out,because i know i'm lucky to be heathy.But the dc are on half term and ds still wakes up most nights.I'm worrying about C and his wife L,plus dd has to go the hospital 28 feb and have a brain scan at some point(should know when on the 28)so i'm worrying about that.
Dh has took C to hospital this morning for line care,and we will be taking L shopping this afternoon.
Dc are running round making a mess,and i'm sitting here on the pc moaning.I did take them to the park yesterday so they aren't being totally left out,but i do need to do more with them.I think i need more hours in the day.lol