Anxiety - anyone else get like this?

[henryhooover]

I have always had anxiety, and most of the time I just live with it and try to get on with things.

I'm going away tomorrow with friends and staying out overnight something I've never done before.
My anxiety over this has been ramping up for the last few weeks, I'm catastrophizing everything and working myself up - all because I'm going away for one night. I've got diarrhoea today and I feel on the verge of anxiety attack constantly.

I'll more than likely be absolutely fine once I've travelled and got there but in the meantime I'm making myself miserable when I should be feeling excited. I don't want to ruin my time and my friends time away by feeling constantly on edge and wanting to come home.

Why can't I just be normal!!

I can absolutely relate to this. Whenever I am doing something different or staying away from home I get very anxious and have an upset tummy. It’s gotten worse recently. I don’t have the answers but from my experience once I’m there, distracted and having fun with my friends I can mostly forget about it. Telling my friends is helpful too, so they know to keep me busy/take extra care of me. One thing I’ve started to do is write down what specifically I’m worried about (what will the toilet be like? What will the food be like? Is there parking?), then I try and answer the questions (maybe research the parking for example), and any that are not answerable I write down some more logical thoughts (like, of course there will be a toilet, you can take a body spray and take an immodium if you’re ill). This helps me look at my anxious thoughts more logically. I hope you can get through tonight and have a lovely time when it comes x

Thankyou! I have already explained to my friends so they are aware. I struggle as it is in a morning with anxiety and it eases once I've got going, tomorrow is a super early start so that won't help.

I already know I am being ridiculous and more than likely once I am there I will be fine. I'm sick of not living my life because anxiety stops me doing 'normal' things. I've been thinking how I could cancel it and not go - no one is forcing me, I keep reminding myself if it gets that bad I can come home. I'm literally away one night fgs!!

Thankyou for your reply, it's reassuring to know I'm not the only person that suffers with this.

I've no advice really but just to say I'm exactly the same. I hate staying away from home and I get in such a state.
You could get some immodium to calm your stomach down and take back a bit of control? Even one the night before might make the morning more manageable.

I'm more worried about anxiety taking a hold and having an anxiety attack. I've got some rescue remedy spray to use if I need it.

It’s definitely not just you, I am the same especially with early mornings thrown in the mix too. You’re not being ridiculous at all, it’s anxiety! I have recently started to accept I need some help with mine and have been to see the GP. Try and do something relaxing tonight, whatever that is for you - a bath, a film, a book or just scrolling mumsnet. Like you said, you can come home if you get really bad or if in the morning you can’t face it then don’t go. Or drive and meet them later. You’ve got this 💪🏼

I sometimes think I should take medication but I'm really reluctant to, I've managed most of my life without it though.

I'm not backing out, I'd just spend all weekend feeling like I've let others down and feeling like a loser.
Then I'd beat myself up about it and wish I had gone. It's just a never ending battle.

I totally get that, I’m reluctant to go on medication too.
You will have a great time once there and will feel proud of yourself for facing your anxiety.
Let us know how you get on.

I made it- but not without having an anxiety attack. I kept having blips all day but I did it.

Yep I am totally the same. For me it's escalated and it's not even staying away anymore, it's going anywhere that's even slightly out of my daily routine of school/work etc. I'm the same with the nervous tummy and actually the diarrhoea is a major trigger for me as I then start panicking about getting to a toilet. Travel is such a struggle for me.

I have an appointment with the mental health nurse next week and I'm hoping to be prescribed something that will control these physical panic symptoms. I tried citalopram in the past and it helped a bit but affected my mood quite badly too.

I hope that once you get there you can enjoy yourself. I think it's brave of you to feel the anxiety but do it anyway. Often the good memories compensate for the anxiety we feel beforehand but it's still very sad that we get like this about things we should be looking forward to.

You don't have to go 'on medication' to take medication.

I did have anti-depressants for a while and they helped, but I didn't like how they made me feel in other ways.

Now I have beta blockers which I take occasionally.

They don't affect your brain, but they slow your body producing adrenaline, so stops the physical effects of anxiety (chest pains, stomach, racing heart). They really help.

Ask your GP about them, and have a stash for when you need them.

I have found that reading Dr Claire weekes book 'essential help for your nerves' has really helped my anxiety. Basically, it's just realising that anxiety can not hurt you. Just float through it. Also, my thought process is that if i feel anxious at home in my safe space, i might as well go out and do stuff. Previously, i would have looked back at a day out or holidays and thought that my anxiety had spoilt it, but that just reinforces the feeling that it has power over you. Try to say okay anxiety, im going here. You can come with me if you want, but im not bothered. When you no longer care, it buggers off. And remember, being excited has the same feelings as anxiety, so try to rethink
how you are feeling about an adventure.

Well done, you did it! It’s ok that you had some blips ❤️

This is absolutely me. Diarrhoea or even the first sign of a tummy ache is a massive trigger. I have IBS and it’s got to the stage where I am terrified to eat anywhere but at home.
I hope your appointment goes well. I’ve been prescribed beta blockers and am waiting for therapy to start. Good luck.

@Moneyworrier123 how are you finding beta blockers? This is what I plan to ask for as I would like something I can take on an as and when basis rather than daily. When I'm at home or somewhere I perceive as safe my anxiety is fine.

I’m not sure, I think they do help but the anxiety is still there. It’s fairly new for me to feel it so intensely and I just want it to go away so my expectations of the beta blockers may be too high. They do calm my heartbeat down though and my breathing. Worth a go for you.

@Moneyworrier123 I hope you see an improvement soon. I think you can ask for a higher dose if you don't feel it's working as well as it could?

I think it I could get control of the physical symptoms then I'd be ok. A lot of the time the panic happens because I'm worrying about the physical symptoms of panic happening. Such a vicious cycle.

It’s a totally vicious cycle, I am constantly on edge waiting for the physical symptoms which in turn causes them. Part of me is considering a regular medication just to break the cycle but am scared I’ll never come off them.

My life long anxiety is caused by asd/adhd, late diagnoses. I'm on 40mg of citalopram daily and will be for the rest of my life. I'm happy with this. I'm also now medicated for the adhd and my anxiety has really abated. Please don't leave yourself suffering when there's no need. Meds aren't necessarily a negative and needing them doesn't mean that you're weak. I love mine, as I can function.

@Mabelface I keep thinking this might apply to me but then talk myself out of it. How did you get diagnosed and have the drugs made a difference?

I was on Sertraline for 12 months but I felt it dulled my feelings a bit too much.

I did the asd assessment privately through work's health insurance. Adhd, with the NHS. Some to my gp, filled in a questionnaire and was then referred. 18 months from beginning to end.

With my antidepressants and my Concerta XL, I feel better than I can ever remember. I don't need beta blockers anymore.

First step for both is gp. Do a bit of research so you know what indications fit you first. If you go private for asd, I can highly recommend the lady who did mine. Lucy Korneki at Knutsford Therapy Rooms. It was done virtually.

It's surprising how many people have this problem. I was honest about my anxiety with my friends and they totally understood and started to tell me how they knew people close to them with the same problem.

I used to take Propranolol and it worked well for me, I got to the point where I didn't need it. I have asked again at the doctors but they won't prescribe me it any more ☹️