To be HUGELY angry at the NHS and wonder if anyone can diagnose this vaginal issue?

[FriendHelper]

One of my best friends has suffered as long as I've known her with a really uncomfortable gynae issue.

She waited for a long time for an appointment she had this week and was totally dismissed by the female (!) gynaecologist who told her there was nothing wrong with her and to try clitoral stimulation. Needless to say she's come away very upset.

Myself and other friends are really raging on her behalf now and I suggested I'd post her symptoms here in case any of you recognised the symptoms. Another friend advised she contacted PALS.

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This is what she's dealt with now for over a decade:

Feels very dry - gynae said it's not and looks fine. So maybe it isn't medically dry but it feels like sandpaper. DH also said it feels dry.

• inner labia often feels raw/burning with any kind of friction. Certain pants aggrevate. It goes red sometimes but not always.

• hurts during / after sex. Labia and the bottom part of vaginal opening which the gynaecologist said was thinning.

-after sex it hurts for ages, sometimes days/weeks and even months.

• has got better from using yes vaginal moisturizer. Before using YES it used to hurt even to walk.

-any lubes other than yea moisture really hurt.

• it burns in shower if the shampoo runs down there (only if it has been aggrevated)

• can't use soap ect in bath.

• no oral sex down there ever or it flipping kills

• started age 17ish but prior to that was so wet and moist I would have to take pants to change in the day.

• no smell

• no discharge

• periods ok/mostly on time

• masturbation hurts mostly

• vibrators don't help

• clit only stimulation doesnt help

• only time it felt ok was during both pregnancies

• swabs ect all come back clear, no STIs

I have to agree with others, this sounds like lichen sclerosis.

Stress, tight clothing, perfumed products, sex, certain foods all make it worse.

I have it along with atrophy so double whammy.

My advice is as often as possible, wear no underwear, avoid tomatoes, wash only in water and get an appointment with a vulva dermatologist. Ls can only be diagnosed with a biopsy if there is no whiteness showing.

Just because you can't imagine it, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I have a group of friends and we have no issues discussing things that are bothering us especially anything menopause/ gynae related.

OP, hope your friend gets some answers.

Does your friend wash her underwear in washing powder? Even the gentle care ones can cause irritation. Try washing balls instead as a starting point, no powder or liquid or conditioner. Even if this is not the cause it can't hurt and may well help.

I have a very raw feeling right at the bottom of my vagina and have been seeing a Physio for about 3 years. Estriodial cream helped and Physio/gynae think it’s over sensitive so actually extra gentle manual therapy helps. Internally I have burning pain halfway through penetration and it’s related to pelvic floor tightness. Basically it’s complicated, multiple issues, got worse after pregnancy. Can she go private? I live abroad and have great coverage so have probably had 30-40 appointments to work to resolve this.

Thanks so much to the posters who have replied helpfully. And sorry to hear others have suffered the same - I don't know how my friend has been able to keep on putting up with it as I'm such a wimp compared, I'd be needing myself!!

She's not been on her phone for the past couple of hours. She has 2 kids with ASD so probably a hectic bedtime.

But I know she'll read the replies and they'll really help.

I'll make sure to post anything further that she messages me.

We used to have a great sexual health clinic in our local hospital but sadly it shut a few years back.

I'll find out for her where the nearest is now. My worry is that thing will need to be through a GP and her surgery is a pretty crap one from what I know about it.

I agree lichen scheloris

She saw a gynaecologist

Club together and buy her a private gynae appointment for Christmas?! Honestly if I’d been suffering that long I’d want a private gynaecologist consultant appointment.

she's seen a gynaecologist. I'm sure they would recognise lichen sclerosis

And this is why so many female topics are still seen as taboo and not discussed.

@OnABreeze @ABJ100

Exactly. Also why I'm so grateful that I have friends who are open with me and I can be with them.

I've always struggled much much MUCH more being open about any mental health struggles.

It's only now my PND is in the past that I can be honest about it as even with them I couldn't admit to how I was struggling at the time. But I was always happy to be open about any sort of 'embarrassing' bodily issue.

Now though I know I have a group of women who I can honestly tell any concern and know they will do their best to help me. It's a real honour.

(They have the link to this post in our group WhatsApp so it's a little way of sharing my love publicly!)

As certainly can't be as open with any other friends or family apart from my husband and sometimes my mum depending on the situation.

I have vulvodynia. It took appointments with a dermatologist and gynaecologist to rule out lichen sclerosis and diagnose as this. Its extremely painful but is managed with medication and oestrogen cream inserted internally. I hope your friend can push for answers as she shouldn't have to live like this.

Ah she's seen the replies. Thanks again everyone with advice.

Surely this is nice proof of why it's important to have female friends you can be open with.

That's a shame that you don't feel you can open up to friends about sexual health.
It is something I feel should be able to be discussed openly without embarrassment