please remind me of book title for helping friend with cancer

[thebecster]

Can't remember the title of the book, but it's about what you can do to help when you have a friend with cancer or suffering bereavement etc. with 'dos & don'ts' etc. Does anyone know it? I have a friend who I want to help and can't think what best to offer... Would be grateful for the book title and also for any ideas of what I could offer her. She doesn't have children and it's her husband who is terminally ill (they're both very young and it's come completely out of the blue).

Its called What can I do To Help - here. I have it, it is great

is it "What can I do to help?" ? Google it on Amazon. I have it - it is excellent (have lent it to friend atm)

Sorry to hear about your friend - you just being there for her will help enormosly. Don't be frightened of going round and doing normal things as well as asking her what she wants you to do.

Lots of people can't deal with situations like this and avoid so your friends will really need proper frineds who hang around.

Oh, thank you so much! MN comes up trumps again! Will buy the book, I know I've looked at it in a bookshop and thought 'what a good idea' because I remember how everyone flailed around not knowing what to do when my Mum had cancer. Didn't occur to me that I'd be flailing myself when faced with a friend suffering something so awful...

I'm really sorry about your friend. I bought my copy when my friend was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and it has been very helpful both in helping me to understand what I can do which is helpful (and what is NOT!) and also in giving me a very small insight into what she must be thinking/worrying about/feeling.

Thank you princesspeahead, that's kind of you to say. It is brain cancer with her husband too. They're 27 and got married 3 months ago (after being together for 10 years). So very, very unfair... I'm waiting for book from amazon and hoping that I say & do helpful things in the meantime...

Oh lord. 27. My friend is 41. It stinks, doesn't it?
I think just being there and being thoughtful and not saying the obvious idiotic things is half the battle.
But the book has excellent ideas about stuff you can actually do which is really useful.
Hope you are OK, I couldn't think of anything else for about a week after I found out. I literally couldn't stop thinking about it. Aurgh.

Stinks indeed. She asked my advice not long about about TTC. They should be having kids and living a happy future together, it's so unfair. And so awful for his parents - to lose your only child at such an age... The things that I can do seem so tiny and ineffectual in the face of something so awful. I'm truly sorry about your friend too, and hope you are okay as well.

Is it a very bad one for him? There are brain cancers and brain cancers - here's hoping his isn't one of the terrible ones...
We are all just focussed on having a laugh with my friend for as long possible. Lots of lunches because she isn't so good in the evenings, etc.It is horrible but also sort of inspiring to see how she and her dh and ds are dealing with it. And it does really distil one's thoughts down about the important things in life, etc. She has outlived her initial prognosis already and so every extra day is a bonus really... it will be awful when the inevitable happens but we've all found a good level at the moment. I hope that happens for you and your friends too. x

Thank you pph, I hope so too. The dr's have said that there's nothing more they can do for him and have said to expect 6 months at best. Dammit. You are so right about it making clear what counts in life and what doesn't. I realise now that if I lost my job, my home, whatever, I'd survive it. But if something like this happened to (can hardly even bear to type it) DH or DS I could only hope to cope with it with my friend's poise, grace & positivity.

oh god, really? my friend was given 6 mths but after surgery, radio, chemo and now more chemo is still with us 9 months later...
I'm really sorry.

Thank you. His is inoperable so no surgery. He's had radio but dr's say that it is not a type which responds well to radio & chemo. Also because he's so young it is growing faster. Thank you for being so kind. I don't deserve your thoughts really as it isn't really my problem, but any prayers/positive vibes you send to my friend I'd be grateful for, and I will do same for your friend and her family.

my mother says this one is v good. bit american, but good anyway love, medicine and miracles