Hand hold please

FlorianImogen · 2022-08-09T23:55:33+00:00

I'm sitting here feeling sad. I lost my husband to cancer a few years ago. Since then, 9 months ago, I met P and we've become very close. Today he's been told he has a lesion on his lung and he's got to see a lung specialist. He's recently lost weight, had a persistent cough, and developed chest pains. I fear it's cancer. Why does something always shit on you when you find happiness?

Galvanisethis · 10/08/2022 04:09

I'm so sorry to read this. I hope that he is treated as quickly as possible. I'm guessing there's still a possibility that it might not be cancer at this point.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 10/08/2022 06:39

That is so unfair and yes, shit. I'm so sorry.

I'll hold your hand and pat your back gently, if if helps. I hope you have someone in real life to give you a big cuddle, but if not, here's a virtual one.

giffyg · 10/08/2022 07:39

i'm sorry

WalrusSubmarine · 10/08/2022 09:06

That is shit. Shitty shit in fact.

Im sorry. I hope the specialist has better news. X

Original poster

FlorianImogen · 10/08/2022 12:46

Galvanisethis · 10/08/2022 04:09

I'm so sorry to read this. I hope that he is treated as quickly as possible. I'm guessing there's still a possibility that it might not be cancer at this point.

Thank you, no it might not, I'm keeping everything crossed.

OP posts:

bloodywhitecat · 10/08/2022 14:08

I am keeping everything crossed for you and him.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/08/2022 14:11

So sorry OP. It's not fair and you don't deserve this. There is a chance it's not cancer, and if it is hopefully they've found it quickly and will have a treatment plan in no time.

Original poster

FlorianImogen · 10/08/2022 15:03

I'm so grateful to get the replies. Thank you all.

Life was shitty after my husband died and this chance of happiness came along. I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard.

OP posts:

justasking111 · 10/08/2022 15:05

Fingers crossed for you both

Soonberaining · 10/08/2022 15:46

My abusive ex has lung cancer. I was told by a lung cancer professor I know that he wouldn't have long to live.

He's five years on and living his best life. He's had chemo, which he found to be not too bad and immunotherapy. The tumour has almost disappeared.

It's clearly not such a death sentence anymore. I hope all turns out well.

WinterMusings · 10/08/2022 15:53

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I really hope that P doesn't have cancer & that you don't have to go through all the stress again.

sometimes life is, indeed, a massive pile of shit!!

Fingers & everything else crossed it's not or it responds to treatment well.

look after YOURSELF, find support for YOU. It's going to bring back a lot of very difficult memories x

Original poster

FlorianImogen · 10/08/2022 17:53

Soonberaining · 10/08/2022 15:46

My abusive ex has lung cancer. I was told by a lung cancer professor I know that he wouldn't have long to live.

He's five years on and living his best life. He's had chemo, which he found to be not too bad and immunotherapy. The tumour has almost disappeared.

It's clearly not such a death sentence anymore. I hope all turns out well.

This is so good to hear. Thank you for sharing it.

OP posts:

emerald7 · 10/08/2022 17:54

sending love x

Original poster

FlorianImogen · 10/08/2022 17:54

WinterMusings · 10/08/2022 15:53

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. I really hope that P doesn't have cancer & that you don't have to go through all the stress again.

sometimes life is, indeed, a massive pile of shit!!

Fingers & everything else crossed it's not or it responds to treatment well.

look after YOURSELF, find support for YOU. It's going to bring back a lot of very difficult memories x

Thank you. Yes all the memories I've put away have come back. Life's just not fair at times.

OP posts:

WinterMusings · 10/08/2022 18:10

FlorianImogen · 10/08/2022 17:54

Thank you. Yes all the memories I've put away have come back. Life's just not fair at times.

Show quote history

@FlorianImogen no love, it's not!! Xx

easilyintimidated · 10/08/2022 19:00

Ultra shitty news, OP, and I am so sorry.

My DH was diagnosed with a highly aggressive cancer five years ago and the statistics were grim. Surgery and chemo went well but everyone warned us it was likely to return pretty quickly and at that point treatment would be palliative. Yet he has been doing very well ever since and the
chance of a recurrence is now considered to be small.

We didn’t set out to Beat Cancer but we decided to do our best for him day by day in terms of basic, healthy food, exercise, sleep, relaxation, fun and cutting back on the wine. I know very well there is no guarantee that healthy living means cancer will be vanquished, and DH isn’t out of the woods yet. I just don’t know what else one can do. I will be thinking of you both.

Original poster

FlorianImogen · 11/08/2022 12:04

easilyintimidated · 10/08/2022 19:00

Ultra shitty news, OP, and I am so sorry.

My DH was diagnosed with a highly aggressive cancer five years ago and the statistics were grim. Surgery and chemo went well but everyone warned us it was likely to return pretty quickly and at that point treatment would be palliative. Yet he has been doing very well ever since and the
chance of a recurrence is now considered to be small.

We didn’t set out to Beat Cancer but we decided to do our best for him day by day in terms of basic, healthy food, exercise, sleep, relaxation, fun and cutting back on the wine. I know very well there is no guarantee that healthy living means cancer will be vanquished, and DH isn’t out of the woods yet. I just don’t know what else one can do. I will be thinking of you both.

Thank you, it's so good to read of the positive outcome for your family.

We've talked about being positive until we know anymore. Just hope we get a referral quickly.

OP posts:

easilyintimidated · 11/08/2022 14:05

I also hope you can get a quick referral. In strictly medical terms a wait of an extra few weeks seldom makes much difference, but for your peace of mind it is huge.

I know how hard it is to stay positive. DH said it meant the world to him that I tried so hard and succeeded to some extent. Your DP is lucky to have you.

Original poster

FlorianImogen · 11/08/2022 15:31

easilyintimidated · 11/08/2022 14:05

I also hope you can get a quick referral. In strictly medical terms a wait of an extra few weeks seldom makes much difference, but for your peace of mind it is huge.

I know how hard it is to stay positive. DH said it meant the world to him that I tried so hard and succeeded to some extent. Your DP is lucky to have you.

Thank you. He'd been widowed and knew what I'd gone through. His wife died of cancer.

Is it me or is cancer a worse epidemic than covid? I dont know one family not touched by it.

OP posts:

easilyintimidated · 11/08/2022 16:10

It is projected that around 50% of us in the U.K. will get cancer. It is unpredictable, except for a few obvious things, and the mortality rate is high. That’s why it is so scary.

Most of us have probably had COVID, but if you are a fairly average person and you use common sense, including getting all your jabs, the chance of falling seriously ill is low. Many don’t even have symptoms now.

I think the seriousness is the difference. Cancer sucks

wombattoo · 11/08/2022 16:18

I was diagnosed with lung cancer in Dec 2017. I had surgery Jan 2018 and I have been clear since. It's a really tough time for you but even the worst case scenario can have a positive outcome. Fingers crossed for your DP