Fears of being naked/powerless in surgery

[MendyH]

Hello there,

I am having gynecological/abdominal surgery in 18 days and I am absolutely terrified. The fear of handing my body over to a room full of strangers while unconscious is consuming. I have an extensive sexual trauma history which compounds my feelings of vulnerability powerlessness. I have mentioned this to my OB, and will ask him for extra accommodations, including letting the other staff know my history and my desire to have modesty in mind as much as possible. If anyone has any ideas for how to calm down, has survived surgery with similar fears/trauma history, or works in Med-surg and can comment as to what happens in the OR, any help would be appreciated. I know staff/physicians have seen it all and I know it isn't a big deal to them. I wish that provided some comfort, but it is about me trusting strangers in a powerless situation, and in the past, being vulnerable has resulted in being hurt. I know nothing will happen as far as assault, but trying to reason with the feelings associated with PTSD is tough.

Thank you in advance!

Can you ask to meet the theatre nurse on the day or even to chat to the HCA? My anaesthetist has been a woman before and I've had lovely female HCA's hold my hand before as I had anaesthetic and they were lovely women who I trusted to look after me in surgery. That might help you to know you are not going to be unprotected in a room full of strangers but there will be strong, professional women there in the room at all times making sure you are given dignity and the best care.

Just to say that emdr is very good for ptsd. It's much less 'invasive' as you used to have to wtitecan account which was read. Techniques have changed do all you need to do isvto think about the events that caused the trauma. Might je worth investigating.
Hope your surgery goes well.

Thank you! Both of you have great suggestions. I will see if I can talk to the nurse beforehand so I feel like I have a support person/advocate in there with me. Also, I will look into emdr. Thank you for your time and support!

No real device but just sending love and hope it goes well💕 xxx

*advice

I have a similar thing, although birth/medical trauma.

It doesn't matter if it's a big deal to the staff/they see it all the time etc. It's a big deal to YOU and that's really important.

I had EMDR which helped enough to actually let me agree to the procedure/op and then I had to just be really clear and firm about everything.

I won't wear a hospital gown at all, so I didn't have to, I wore my own clothes and went into theatre fully dressed and then woke up having been re-dressed.

I had PTSD on my notes and on the screen in the hospital so it was the first thing anyone saw and they knew what to do.

I was able to have my partner - who was fully briefed on everything and who can advocate for me if I lose the plot a bit - with me right up until I got onto the bed for anaesthesia. We had a safe word that I could say and he'd know I was serious that I needed him to totally step in and take over and either fix the situation or just get me out of there, depending on what was happening.

It's so consuming and it makes your brain feel like it weighs about 3 tonnes, if you're anything like me.

Be as loud and clear as you can, and they will do what you need them to, my consultant told me that the issues occur when people don't tell them and just panic silently.

Thank you SO much for that!!!! Trauma is trauma and like I said, you can't "reason away" the fear that PTSD bring on. I didn't think about asking for my husband to be present asap. I think having him there as I wake up would be good. My fear is that I will get combative out of fear that I'm being violated. Having his voice there would help to calm me down more than strangers.